


Those Few Months

by Fallen_Ark_Angel



Series: Those Few Months [1]
Category: Along for the Ride
Genre: F/M, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-25
Updated: 2013-12-25
Packaged: 2018-01-06 01:11:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 52,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1100687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fallen_Ark_Angel/pseuds/Fallen_Ark_Angel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Auden's pregnant. She finds out that not all of its fun.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

 

Driving down to Colby again wasn't what I had in mind for my weekend. I needed to though. What I had to say to Eli wasn't over the phone conversation.

I was going to stop by Heidi's first to see her and Thisbe, but they weren't home. So, instead, I went looking for Eli. First, I stopped by his apartment, but he wasn't there. I drove past Abe's Bikes, but didn't go in because his truck wasn't around and I didn't want to deal with the other guys. Eventually, I gave up searching by car and parked somewhere before looking for him by foot.

When I finally did locate him, Eli was walking around the beach, talking on his cell phone. I saw him from a few feet away and made my journey towards him a slow one. Now that I had him in my sights, I was afraid about what had to happen next.

"-no, I don't think so. Yeah. I mean, Adam…I don't really want to move. No. No. Not really. It's just…I've always lived in C-" He paused when he saw me coming his way and turned his back to me. "I'll call you back. Yeah."

"Eli?" I kept walking until we were feet from each other. "We, uh, need to talk."

Turning back to face me, he shrugged. His silence is always nice when we're together, but when we're broken up and I have to deal with him, I hate it.

"I just think that we need to talk about us," I said, stalling as I turned and walked away. Eli followed me, still not speaking. Taking a deep breath, I went on. "I mean, when we broke up...I…I mean...I haven't been doing much without you. Have you been doing stuff?"

He shrugged, making me roll my eyes.

"Well, if neither of us are doing anything-"

"Why are you here?"

"What?" I stopped.

"Why are you here?" He paused in his walking. "Huh? Because I know that it's not to be with me, so stop playing."

"I'm not, Eli. I…Something happened, okay?"

He stared into my eyes. "I'm listening."

"Eli."

"Auden, either tell me or don't. I have things going on too. Stuff happened to me too. I have a life too. Things are still the same, Auden. I'm not going to put my life on hold to be with you, just like I told you before. Alright?"

Now he had kind of hurt me and I didn't care about making this as easy as possible. "Eli, I'm pregnant."

Then all I could hear were the waves. For a minute at least. Then Eli spoke.

"Really?"

"Yeah." I looked down at the ground, now embarrassed. "Three and a half months."

He took a deep breath. "Goes without saying it's mine then?"

"What?"

Laughing a little, he said, "It was a joke. I mean, I figured it was."

I snorted, still not looking at him. "It's yours."

Taking a moment, he nodded before turning and beginning to walk again. "Alright."

What? Frowning, I hurried to follow him. "What does that mean?"

"It means what I said. Alright."

"Eli-"

"Have you been seeing someone, Auden?"

"Have you?"

"I asked first."

"And I'm not going to answer."

"Then I don't want to talk to you."

"Eli, you broke up with me."

"And all I want to know is if you're with anyone."

"Why? It's still your baby in me."

"So you have," he said, now walking faster.

"No, actually, I haven't. I just don't see how it's any of your business." I was having to run after him now. "Eli, stop."

Huffing, he finally turned to face me and let me catch up. "I'm going back to my place. You can come or stay here. I don't care."

It was a silent walk back to Eli's apartment. When we got there, he pulled out his cell phone, as he had gotten a text. I stood there awkwardly, not knowing my place here anymore. Eli looked up from his phone after a minute.

"You can sit down, Auden." He nodded at the bed before going back to texting. I listened to him, though I only sat on the edge, still watching him.

"You, uh, hungry?" He asked after a minute.

"What?"

"Hungry. Or are you still in the throwing up phase? Because I'm not good with puke."

"I'm not hungry."

Shrugging, he stood there for another minute before putting his phone away. "So."

"Yeah." I sat there, staring at the wall. "I answered you. I haven't seen anyone. Have you?"

"Last two weeks, I've been seeing this girl. Nothing exclusive."

"Oh."

Eli nodded a little. "How long have you know? That you were pregnant I mean?"

"Two weeks. I was going to call you but…I figured it'd be better to come see you to tell you."

"I'm glad. That you came to see me, I mean. It's…good to see you, Auden."

"Same."

Slowly, he went to sit down next to me on the bed. "So…you haven't even been on one date?"

"No. I've been busy."

"And pregnant."

"And that."

Laughing a little, he turned to look at me. "You've been to the doctor?"

"Yes."

Again, he nodded his head before reaching out and wrapping his arm around my shoulders. I laid my head against him, sniffling a little.

"What?"

"Nothing," I whispered. "Just...What does this mean for us?"

"What do you want it to mean?"

Not knowing how to answer that, I changed the question. "Are you...mad at me?"

"For?"

"This."

"Auden." He kissed my head. "No. It's…just a lot to take in."

"I know."

"A baby," he whispered. "Damn."

"Yeah."

Running his hand up and down my shoulder, he mumbled something that I couldn't hear. I just groaned a little, closing my eyes.

"I was serious about the no puke thing, Auden."

"It's my head, Eli. I have a headache."

"You don't sleep enough."

"Oh? And you do?"

"No, but I don't complain." He stood up. "Lay down."

"E-"

"Lay down, Auden. Take a nap."

"What are you going to do?"

He shook his head, going to sit down in the chair in the room. "Nothing. That's all I do all day. Nothing."

I laid down slowly, kicking the covers down so that I could pull them back up around me. His bed still felt good to me.

"It's Thursday."

"I know."

"So on Saturday then?"

"On Saturday what?" He asked, pulling out his cell phone again.

"You and this girl. Are you going to see her then?"

"Auden-"

"No, no. It's a question, Eli."

"I'm not going to be messing with someone while you're pregnant, alright? Not unless I know one hundred percent that the chances of us being together are dead. Are they?"

"I don't think so," I whispered.

"Me neither." He paused for a second. "That's what we are, Auden. We're a break up, get back together couple. That's why I never get serious about someone else."

I let his words be the end of the conversation as I finally fell asleep. It was about two hours later that a door shutting woke me up. He was coming in with a bag of burgers.

"Hungry?"

I just groaned. "Where'd you go?"

"Got lunch. And I had to drop your sister off at Heidi's."

"What?"

"She was at the bike shop with Adam. She likes spending time up there with us." He smiled a little, giving me the bag of food.

"You still spend time with my sister?"

"Of course. Just because me and you broke up doesn't mean that I can just ignore her, you know."

"Sometimes I think you care more about Thisbe than me."

"I do."

Rolling my eyes, I sat up. "Thanks for lunch."

"No problem. I'll expect you to pay me back."

"Ha ha."

Eli climbed over me to get into bed. "You're in my spot, you know."

"I know."

"I'll let you stay for now." He reached into the bag and pulled out his food before beginning to eat.

"Can I stay here while I'm in Colby?"

"Are we back together?" He asked me with food in his mouth.

"I guess, but…Never mind."

We ate in silence before both laying on the bed, Eli holding me.

"It's been awhile, Auden."

"Almost four months."

"And all this time, you had the baby in your stomach." He patted it. "You're not even showing."

"I am a little."

"I guess." He ran his hand up and down my stomach before kissing me. "You want to?"

Not really, but I knew that he did. Turing, I let him begin to kiss me, allowing his hands to start running up and down my sides.

"Auden," he whispered as he pulled away from me, pushing my shirt up. His hands were kind of cold and I squirmed a little.

"What?"

"Nothing," I said, shaking my head. Eli kissed me again quickly before speaking.

"You alright? You look pale."

"I'm fine."

"Are-"

"Eli, do you want to or not?"

"I just don't want you to puke on me."

"Well, I'm not going to, okay?"

Taking a deep breath, he went back to kissing me. This wasn't about puke. I don't think he really wanted to have sex. I didn't know why though.

It was quick, but I wasn't shocked. We hadn't been together in a few months and we both needed it. Well, I was.

"Did you?"

Eli had been stroking my arm. "Huh?"

"With that woman you've been seeing. You slept with her, right?"

"Why?"

"Eli, did you?"

Taking a deep breath, he let it out slow. "No, Auden."

"Sure." I moved away from him a little, but Eli just moved with me.

"Why do you not believe me?"

"Because…I don't know."

Eli didn't seem to care much for my doubts. I think that he was still thinking about me being pregnant.

"When can I tell people?"

"About what?"

"The baby, Auden."

I glanced at him. "I haven't said anything to anyone in Colby."

"Trust me, I know. If you had, it would have already gotten back to me." He looked at my stomach. "You got any pictures?"

"Of what?"

"The baby. Like…an ultrasound picture."

"Why? Do you not believe me?"

"Auden." He kissed me again. "Do you?"

"In my car."

"Where's your car?"

"Parked somewhere around here. I can't remember."

"Great." He kissed me again. "If you give me your keys, I'll go find it."

"Why are you so worried about it? Besides, I know where it is, I just don't the street name."

"I just want something to do, Auden." He sat up. "I…My mind's killing me right now."

"Why?"

"The baby, Auden. I'm not…I'm still shocked, alright?" He got out of bed. "I'm gonna, uh, get some air. You wanna come?"

"No."

He shrugged. "Stay then. I'll be back soon. There's, uh, food, if you get hungry."

"No puking though, right?"

He just laughed a little before heading out.

* * *

After Eli left, I got dressed before getting his laptop out to check the news. I was still doing that when there was a knock on the door. I was going to get up, but then the door just opened.

"El- Oh."

I stared at his mother. "Hi."

"Is Eli here?"

I shook my head. "No. He went out."

"Oh." She walked into the apartment, closing the door behind her. "I didn't know that you were in town, Auden."

"Just for the weekend."

"So you and Eli are…speaking again?"

I hadn't given him much of a choice. "Yes."

"That's good. Have you seen Heidi since you came down?"

"No. I was going to today."

She nodded. "She's been doing really well, these past few months."

Last time I was in Colby, she was still broken up about her divorce from my father. I smiled a little.

"That's good."

"Yes, it is."

Eli broke the awkward silence that we had fallen into by coming back. "Alright, Auden, I found your car and got your stuff-"

"What?" I forgot that his mom was there for a moment. "Eli, I told you not too. How did you get in?"

"I took your keys when you weren't looking."

"You mean stole?"

He saw his mom then and frowned a little. "Hi, Mom. What are you doing here?"

"I came to talk to you about something. Alone."

Standing up, I went and took my keys back from Eli. "I need to go see Heidi anyways."

When I got out to my car, which Eli had driven over to his place, I immediately had to change my seat. Eli messed with it every single time I let him drove. That's why we normally rode in his truck. After fixing my chair, I headed straight to Heidi's, but she wasn't home. Turning around, I went to Clementine's.

"Auden!" Thisbe, who was sitting on the floor playing with her toys, ran to come hug me. I smiled down at her.

"Hey, Isby." I looked behind the counter and saw Heidi. "Hey."

She smiled brightly at me, coming over to give me a hug. I let her, if only because I hadn't seen her in so long.

"Saw Eli," Thisbe told me to which her mother frowned.

"Thisbe-"

"It's okay," I said, patting her on the head. "I saw Eli too."

"Did you?" Heidi smiled a little. "So did you like what you saw?"

"No more than usual."

"So no good news on that front?"

I wasn't sure what the answer to that was, so I just shrugged. "Anyways, I just wanted to tell you that I was in town for the weekend."

"Go beach?" Thisbe looked up at me and I nodded a little.

"Yeah. Or something like that. Tomorrow, okay?"

I talked to them for a few more minutes before going back outside. I was headed to my car when I saw Eli. He was across the street, talking to Wallace. Waving at me, he nodded his head, trying to get me to go over there.

"Hey, Auden," Wallace said as I came towards them. "Didn't know you were back."

"Just for the weekend," I told him, coming to stand next to Eli. He wrapped an arm around my shoulders, like we were a couple again. I think we were. I'm not sure. Eli talked with Wallace for another minute before walking me to my car and getting in on the passengers side.

"Well?"

I frowned, also getting in. "Well what?"

"The picture."

Groaning, I reached into the backseat for my bag before digging around. I pulled out an ultrasound photo and gave it to him.

"There. Now do you believe me?"

"Never doubted you," he whispered, taking it. For a moment, neither of us spoke as he stared at the photo. We were disturbed by a tapping on the window. Frowning, he opened his car door.

"Eli!" Thisbe was standing on the other side. "Sees you outside. No work?"

"No." He pocketed the photo. "Where's Heidi?"

She pointed back at the store I was parked in front of her. "Her work."

"Yeah, she's good at that."

Thisbe waved at me, but was clearly more concerned with Eli. He had babysat for her since he dropped out of college again, which was back when she was still a baby. Now three, she very much enjoyed all time she got to spend with him.

"I come play with Eli?"

"Not today. Me and Auden need to talk about some stuff." He smiled at her, something that he didn't do a lot for me. "Tomorrow though-"

"See Auden tom'ra."

"You are? I can be there too. I only work for a little bit."

"Ya!"

"Thisbe!"

We all looked up as Heidi stuck her head out of the shop door.

"Come back inside and leave them alone. I'm sure that they don't want to play with you."

Eli patted her on the head before she took off, headed back into the shop. We made sure she made it in before I pulled away.

"You didn't give the photo back."

"I'm not going to."

Rolling my eyes, I asked where he wanted to go now. He said that it didn't matter, so we ended back up at his place.

"You have to be hungry now."

"Eli-"

"Chips at least?" He went to go grab some as I laid down on the bed. When he saw me laying on his side of the bed this time, he wasn't so lenient about it. "Move over closer to the wall, Auden."

Groaning, I did so before Eli laid down next to me. He opened the bag of chips before eating a few and handing the bag over to me. Just to please him, I ate a couple before giving the back. For awhile, the only noise that could be heard was the bag rustling as it was passed between the two of us. Finally, he got up and put the bag away before coming back to me.

"Auden?"

"Yeah?"

As I was on my back, Eli laid on his stomach, halfway off me, halfway on. "I want you to know something before we do anything else."

"What?"

"What happened before…me sleeping with you like that…I'm sorry."

"Why?"

"Well…I just figure that I should have been more focused on the baby. Not sex. And I just want you to know too, that it's not the baby that's makes me want to try to work this out. I mean, it is in part because…I'd shoot myself for not giving it at least one more try, but it's also because…I miss you when you're gone. A lot. I don't like for people who are important to me to leave. And right now, you're one of the most important people to me."

Reaching up, I stroked his head. "Eli…I want to try to make it work too. I missed you too."

After kissing me, he moved to lay down on the bed, leaving one arm wrapped around my waist.

"Are you going back on Sunday?"

"I have to, Eli. I have class."

"Then…What happens when the baby's born? I want to be with it."

"I know. We'll think of something."

He took a deep breath. "Adam wants me to move out of Colby with him. He needs a roommate down in Jackson."

"Are you going to go?"

"No. Of course not." He glanced at me. "This is my baby too, Auden. I guess…I'll have to leave Colby anyways and get an apartment up near Defriese."

"What? Eli-"

"I have too, Auden. I have to give shit up to be with you. I get that now. School is important to you. More important than me. That's good. You're going somewhere. I'm not. I'm just fucking not. I work at a bike shop for crying out loud. I have for years. I can't take care of a baby with that. I don't want to. I want him to think something of me. Or she. Whatever. The point is, I'm going to follow you. Always."

I closed my eyes. "That's why we broke up last time."

"I know. I didn't want to change. Now, though, something has changed. I'm going to be a…dad," he said, whispering the last part as if trying it out for the first time. "Daddy. I'll be somebody's daddy."

"Yeah," I whispered as he turned his head to kiss mine. He started laughing.

"So can I?"

"Can you what?"

"Tell people? I want to tell them all. Everyone."

I closed my eyes. If he started talking, everyone would know. "If you want. It's your baby too, Eli."

I was able to feel his smile as he kissed me again. We laid there so long that I fell asleep again. I was woken up by Eli talking.

"-never thought about it," he said into his phone. "Having a kid I mean. Now it's…I don't know. I just don't feel ready. Yeah, but those months'll go by fast, I think. Yeah. No, she's finishing school. Yeah. I want her too. No. She's really smart and stuff. Yeah. Like way smarter than me. I want her to be something, you know? I'm not. I work at the same place since I was a teenager, talk to the same people everyday. The only different thing I do now from back then is help take care of Thisbe."

Eli looked down at me, saw I was now awake, and stood up. He kept talking, now going into the bathroom to do it. I looked at a clock and found that it was almost midnight. Dang. Getting out of bed, I went out of the apartment to go get my bag from my car. When I returned, Eli was sitting on the bed, texting.

Sitting down next to him, I asked, "What do you want to do tonight?"

"You're pregnant. You need to sleep."

"Eli."

He kept looking at his phone. "I told my dad."

"Was that who you were talking to?"

"Yeah. Hope you don't mind."

"Eli, I told you to tell people."

'I know, but still. Have you told your Dad and Mom?"

"No," I sighed. "My mom will probably be upset with me. She'll think I'm ruining my life."

"Yeah. My dad's not exactly thrilled and my mom probably won't be either." Eli glanced at me. "But we're adults. We make our own decisions."

"I know."

He ran a hand up and down my back. It felt…nice.

"I need to go to the store."

I looked at him. "Okay."

When we got to his truck, Eli said, "I told my dad not to tell Mom yet. I think I could do a better job."

I thought of Karen in both situations. I don't know which man would be better suited for the task. "If you really think so."

"When are you going to tell your parents?" He asked, pulling away from the curb.

"Soon, I think. I probably should have already, but I thought you should know first."

"I'm glad. That you told me, I mean. And the baby, I guess. It's just…a lot to take in."

"Yeah. A lot."

He stopped by Gas/Gro and got us some candy before we went to the store.

"You need anything?" He asked as he grabbed a thing of trash bags.

"No." I wrapped my arms around myself, walking along beside him as he pushed the cart. "You work tomorrow?"

"Yeah. You're gonna go be with Thisbe, huh?"

"I think so, yes."

"I'll hangout with you guys after work, I guess. I got morning shift today."

"Really? Then shouldn't you be asleep?"

"I can't sleep, Auden. I'm still…Hyped. About the baby. And you. And…I don't know."

I didn't want to look at him. "So are we going to Clyde's after this?"

"You want to? We can."

"Yeah. I want coffee."

"Can you drink that while you're pregnant?"

I rolled my eyes. 'Well, I am, so yes."

He just laughed.

* * *

"I have to go now," Eli mumbled, kissing my head. I groaned, opening my eyes.

"Have fun at work."

"I can only try."

After he was gone, I went and took a shower before leaving too. When I pulled up to Heidi's, I got out and knocked on the door.

"Hey, Auden," she said, opening it. "I didn't know you were stopping by. Me and Thisbe are about to take off for work-"

"I came to get her, actually. If it's okay with you, I mean."

"Oh, yes. Yeah. It is."

Heidi led me to the kitchen, where my sister was eating breakfast. She smiled when she saw me.

"Hi, Auden! Eli?"

"He's at work," I told her, going to sit down at the table with her.

"Are you hungry, Auden?" Heidi asked. "There's coffee?"

"I'm okay," I said, though I knew that I would go get some after she left. She went out of the room for a minute before returning.

"I'm leaving now. Can you lock up when you leave, Auden?"

"Yeah, of course."

She gave Thisbe a kiss before leaving. When she did, I got up and got a cup of coffee before turning the pot off.

"What do you want to do today, Isby?"

"Eli."

"We can't see Eli yet. He's a work," I told her before taking a sip. "So what else do you want to do?"

"Eli."

"We'll eat lunch with him. Don't you want to do something else?"

"Eli."

"What would you want to do with Eli?" I asked, now giving up on getting her to chose a different activity. "Huh?"

"Play."

"Play what?"

"With Eli," she said as if I were dumb. Yeah. Sighing a little, I went and sat back down.

"Well, what would you and Eli play with?"

"Toys," she said, going back to her cereal.

"You like playing with Eli, huh?"

"Yes!" She looked up at me for a moment. "You?"

"Yeah, I like being with him too."

When she finally finished eating, we spent a good ten minutes trying to find her shoes before we left the house.

"You want to walk to the beach?" I asked her to which she nodded, knowing that meant passing Abe's Bikes if we went the normal way. Just to appease her, I went ahead and did so.

"Eli?" She asked me as we passed Clementine's. She pointed across the street. "Eli work?"

"Yes." I kept walking.

"Go?"

"No."

She whined as I led her down to the beach. I didn't really want to be here, but she liked playing in the sand. It was too cold to let her get in the water.

We stayed down there for awhile before she got bored. This was really my only plan for the day. We were walking away from the beach when she saw Eli. He was in front of the bike shop, talking to a customer. She ran over to him, waiting as patiently as she could for him to finish speaking.

"So you can pick up your bike on Monday."

The man looked at Thisbe, who had wrapped her arms around Eli's leg. "Your daughter?"

"No. This is my girlfriend's sister." He nodded at Auden. "That's Auden. I told you about her."

"Yeah," the guy said, nodding. "I didn't think you had a kid, but you never know."

Eli glanced at me shaking his head. "Uh, so see you on Monday. Cool?"

"Yeah. Thanks, bro."

As he walked off, Eli picked up Thisbe. "What are you doing here?"

"See Eli."

"Well, you saw me."

Giggling, she wrapped her arms around his neck. "Hi."

"Hey." He looked at me. "What were you guys doing?"

"Nothing. She kept whining about seeing you. You'd think that you don't spend every week together."

"Day," Eli corrected as Thisbe took his baseball cap off his head. "Stop that."

"Nop ap," she mimicked, putting the hat on her own head. "Eli."

"Hey, Eli, get your butt back in here. I need help with something," I heard Jake call from in the building. I frowned.

"Jake's back in town?"

Eli sighed. "You didn't really think that he was going to make it in California, did you?"

"Well…No, I guess not."

He shifted Thisbe slightly. "Well, I have to go, so-"

"Stay." Thisbe looked at me. "Bye-bye, Auden."

I sighed. "Can she stay with you?"

"Yeah, sure. She always does."

"'elper," she said, nodding her head. "Bye-bye."

I sighed as Eli walked into the building now leaving me alone. Being in Colby again was turning out to suck. Taking a deep breath, I headed over to Heidi's shop.

"Hi, Auden," she said as I came in, not looking up from some notepad she was writing on. "And hi…Where's Thisbe?"

"With Eli," I sighed, going over to the counter. "I haven't seen her in months and she would still rather be with him."

Heidi laughed a little. "He's so helpful with her. He's really a nice boy. Man, I guess."

I stared at her for a second. "Hey, Heidi?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I tell you something?" I felt weird, telling her before either of my parents, but telling them seemed like more of a death sentence whereas telling her could be at least somewhat exciting.

"Yeah. Of course, Auden. Is something wrong?"

"Not really. It's just…uh…I'm kind of pregnant. That's why I came back to C-"

"Really?" She stood up from the stool she was sitting on. "Oh, Auden!"" Her face changed for a second. "Wait. It's Eli's…right?"

"Yes."

"Oh, okay!" She was happy again. "Have you told him? Are you excited? Wait…You're keeping it, right?"

"Well, yeah."

"Okay!" She came around the counter to hug me. "Have you told him?"

"Last night, yes."

"And…?"

"And what?"

"Is he happy, is he mad, is he what?" She asked, still holding me. Finally, after about ten seconds too many, she let go.

"He's…I don't know. He didn't really say."

"Yeah, but how did he act?"

"At first I thought he was mad, but…I think he's still shocked.

Heidi gave me a once over. "Have you told your parents? What did they say? I bet they were angry."

"I haven't told them yet."

She gasped. "So you really meant I had to keep a secret?"

"The only one that knows is Eli. And he told his dad. IU don't know if his dad told him mom or not."

"Wow. Hmmm. So what are you going to do?"

"Do?"

"You and Eli."

"He wants to move closer to me, but…I don't know."

"Are you guys back together?"

"Yeah."

"Then why not?"

"He has a life here." Not much of one, but he did have one. He shouldn't have to give it up just because I want to go to college. I didn't say this to Heidi because I knew that she'd think that he would.

"Well, you can't move down here."

"Why not?"

"College, Auden. You're not dropping out."

She wasn't asking a question. She was telling me. I sighed.

"I don't kn-"

"Well, I do know. You're not. End of story."

I shook my head at her. "We'll see."

"No, we already know. You're not. You'll regret it later. You're not."

I didn't need this from her. I was already going to get it from my parents. Especially my mother…

* * *

"Tonight?"

"Hmmm?"

"Should we tell my mom tonight?"

I nodded at Eli as we pulled away from Heidi's. "Yeah."

It was a short drive over to his parents. We had dropped Thisbe back at Heidi's and were now headed over to his parents for dinner. Eli and his father figured that now would be the best time to break it to his mother. I warned Eli, however, that if I had to be present for this, he had to be when I told my mom. He agreed, but only after I also agreed to tell my brother and father alone.

"You ready?" Eli asked as we pulled up.

"Are you?"

He laughed a little, reaching over to pat my shoulder. "Yep."

"Then I guess so."

"Let me do all the talking. You just sit there and look…well, read the room. If she's upset, you look sad. If she yells, look frightened. If she gets happy, hug her."

"I doubt the last one will happen. And if she starts yelling, I'm leaving."

"You leave, I'll make you go to your mother's alone."

"Whatever. Let's just do this. She can't get that mad. You're not a teenager."

"I know." He got out of the truck. "Come on."

His dad was the one who answered the door. "Hey, guys. Your mom's in the kitchen with your brother."

"Jake's here?" Eli groaned. "Dad-"

"He has to know sometime too, Eli. And it's not like he's swimming in money right now. We have to feed him." He looked at me. "Eli told me. I'm…happy for you guys."

"Thank you," I said, matching his forced smile. Eli wrapped an arm around my shoulders as we came into the house. Normally when we were around his father, he cracked some sort of joke about me in the first minute. Right now, he was silent.

"Hi, Auden," his mother said as we came into the kitchen.

"No hi for me?" Eli asked, letting me go to give her a hug.

"Hi, Eli." She patted him on the back quickly. "I'm glad that you came down for the weekend, Auden. I just didn't realize that you and Eli were back together."

"Mom," Jake groaned from the kitchen table. "Just leave it alone."

Eli pulled out a chair for me at the table next to Jake before sitting down in his own. It was odd for him to be so kind to me and I was slightly worried.

"What did you make, Mom?"

"Stew. You guys don't have to eat at the table, Eli. You're all old enough to eat in the living room without spilling, I would hope."

For a second, I thought that she was looking at me, but then I realized that she was staring at Jake.

We left her in the kitchen and went back into the living room. Jake went to the bathroom first, leaving Eli and his father time to talk. Eli and I sat down on the couch while his father was already seated in a chair.

"Did you tell her?"

"Obviously not. Auden hasn't been kicked out yet."

"She won't blame Auden. She'll blame you."

"I blame Auden."

I knew that it was coming.

"Eli-"

"It was a joke," he told his father before glancing at me. "Auden and I have already talked."

"About what?" Jake asked, coming back into the room. "Wait, you didn't tell them, did you?"

"That I caught you reading Barbara Starr's new book?"

"Eli!"

"Slipped out," he said, rolling his eyes.

"It's a good book, The Choice. You just don't understand. Besides," he said, popping his collar. "Women dig sensitive guys."

"Right, my bad," Eli said, shaking his head. The conversation was killed as his mom came into the living room.

"Dinner's done," Karen said as she came back into the room, a bowl for herself and one for her husband in each hand.

"Get me mine, Auden," Eli said as I got up. His father cleared his throat while Eli just smiled. I don't know why his jokes just never seem to go over. Getting up, he followed me into the kitchen. He kissed the back of my head as we got bowls out.

"We'll do it while we're eating," he mumbled in my ear, pressing close against me. "Alright?"

I just nodded. When we got back out there, I made Eli sit between me and Jake, not wanting to be near him on the couch. If Jake noticed, he didn't seem to care much.

"So how's school going, Auden?" Karen asked after a moment.

"Uh, good, actually."

"It's your junior year, right?"

"Yes, it is."

She smiled at me. "I'm sure you're already planning what you're going to do after you graduate. What is that, actually?"

"She's coming down to Colby," Eli answered for me, making me frown. Then I realized that was probably true, seeing as we would have a child by then.

"All that college and you think she's really coming back here?" Jake snorted. "You'd have to really dumb…Hey, how's Maggie?"

"Not interested in you," I muttered. Jake just scowled at me.

"She's actually coming back here for a reason, Mom," Eli continued, ignoring me and Jake. "Right, Auden?"

I thought he was going to do it? I sent him a look. "Yeah. Sure."

"What's that?" She asked.

"She-"

"No way! The Bears lost?" Jake jumped up, screaming at the TV. "How? The Bears?"

"Anyways," Eli said, glaring at his brother. "Mom, me and Auden have something to tell-"

"To the Vikings? Who loses to the Vikings? They haven't been good since-"

"I was talking, Jake. Shut up and sit down."

Jake frowned, but did sit down. Eli looked back at his mother after sending his father a glance.

"Uh…Mom…Auden's…" He looked at Jake one more time to make sure that he wasn't going to have anymore outbursts. Jake, however, was also watching his older brother, interested. Eli took a deep breath. "Auden's pregnant, Mom."

It was quiet for a moment. Then Jake broke that.

"So…Did you make cornbread, Mom?"

"Pregnant." She looked at me. 'You're pregnant?"

"Yes."

"And…" She looked at Eli. "You're the father."

"Yeah, Mom."

"Eli, you haven't seen her in months!"

"Not that many."

"How can you even be sure? Huh?" She looked at me again. "I'm not trying to offend you, Auden, but…Have you been with someone else?"

"Mom-" Jake started, but was cut off by his father.

"Karen-"

"No," I told her. "I'm haven't."

"Okay then. That's all I wanted to know."

Jake glanced at me. "So…Did you see any cornbread in the kitchen? I don't want to get up, go all the way in there, and there not be any-"

"Yes, Jake. There is some in the oven. Pull it out," Karen said, now staring straight ahead.

It was quiet for a minute or two. Then Eli's mother spoke again.

"You're not doing anything stupid, are you?"

"Huh?" Eli looked at her. "What do you mean?"

"I meant, doing anything else stupid. You're not going to get married, are you?"

"No," Eli said, glancing at me. "We're not."

"Are you keeping it?"

That question confused me for a second as I tried to think of what else there was to do with the baby.

"Yeah, Mom, we never thought that we wouldn't."

"Good."

"Yeah."

Jake came back and sat down. "Cornbread sticks to the pan real bad. Anybody else know that? No? Well-"

"Stop, alright?" Eli sighed. "Just be quiet."

"I'm trying to make conversation."

"No one wants conversation."

"We sure did before you had to go and drop a bombshell."

I sighed. "Stop, Eli. Don't fight with him."

"Stop saying my name so much."

I rolled my eyes. "Eli-"

"I'm serious. I've told you before not to say my name so much."

"You fight over how much she says your name?" Jake shook his head. "You guys'll be worse parents than I would be."

"Jake," his father warned.

After we finished eating, Eli took our bowls to the sink, leaving me alone with his family for even longer when he headed to the bathroom afterwards.

"So…Are you finishing college?"

I looked at Mrs. Stock. "Yes. I think. We haven't really talked about it much."

"You should," she said, sounding tired. "Have you told your parents yet?"

"No. I've told Heidi and Eli, that's it. And you, now."

Sighing, she asked, "How long have you known?"

"A week or two."

Jake looked around the room. "I think I'll take off now, Mom. I have some stuff to do tonight."

After he left, Eli came back. Sitting down next to me, he bumped his knee against mine. When I glanced at him, he just smiled at me, trying to let me know that it was okay.

"So you've been to the doctor, Auden?" Karen asked, apparently not going to let anything go. Eli was supposed to do all the talking, but I felt like Karen didn't care to hear from him. Only me. I figured the same would go with my mother. She probably wouldn't even want Eli in her house, baby or not.

"Yep," Eli answered for me. "She went. Look. I've got a picture."

He pulled the ultrasound picture out of his pocket, as if showing it off. His mother wasn't impressed and just sighed again. Eli looked at the picture for a second before pocketing it again and standing up.

"We should probably take off now. Auden has to go back to Defriese in the morning."

His father smiled at us. "I hope that you guys have a good night."

"I'm with Auden. It's impossible." He led me out of the house after hugging his mother. Once we were in the safety of his truck, Eli said, "She took it better than I thought."

"Says you."

"Come on, Auden. If I get off that easy with your mother, I'll be glad."

I sighed a little. "Are you really going to make me tell my father alone?"

"Well…Are you going to tell him over the phone?"

"Yeah."

"Then I'll be in the room if you want." He reached out and patted me on the leg, smiling at me. It was forced though.

When we got back to his place, Eli went to take a shower, leaving me to go to sleep. I was mostly there when he crawled into bed. He kissed my head.

"Auden?"

"Hmmm?"

"We need to talk."

"Mmmhmmm."

"Uh…You know that I…I mean…about the baby."

"What about it?"

"Well, it's just…uh…What are we going to do? About you being pregnant and all?"

"I thought that you were going to move closer to me?"

"Oh…yeah…that."

"You don't really want to."

"No, I don't."

"I don't want to come down here either."

"I figured you didn't."

"Then, I guess, I'll be pregnant, there, by myself."

"I'll come see you and stuff. And you'll come see me."

"What about when it's born, Eli?"

"I don't know. I can't make all our decisions. If I did, you would stay here, with me."

"What about college?"

"I want you to finish that, but…I want you with me too. And the baby. And…Damn it, Auden, I don't know what to do. I mean….two days ago, you wouldn't even talk to me. Now we're going to have a baby."

I turned my head to look at him. "I know. I'm still…shocked too, I guess."

"And it's not like I don't want to be with you."

"I know."

"I still did, back when we broke up. I figured that it'd be our normal break up and we'd be back with each other in a few days, but-"

"Let's not talk about it."

"We need to though. Once the baby's born, we can't…do that anymore."

"Do what?"

"Play around. We're either going to be serious about each other or we're not."

I closed my eyes. "What are you saying?"

He moved to lay on my side, pulling my body back to his, holding me. Kissing my head, he began to rub my stomach. "I love you, Auden. I always will. Even if we don't work out, you'll always be my first baby's mother. Always. And, I hope, you'll be the mother of all my other kids. Even if we don't work out, which we need to figure out, you'll still matter to me. I'll always be there for you. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Good." He kissed my head again. "Now go to sleep. You have a long day tomorrow."

I rolled onto my side so that my back was pressed against him. Eli kissed me one more time before turning onto his back to go to sleep.

 


	2. Chapter 2

 

The next weekend, I drove down to Colby again, but just for a few hours. Then Eli and I were driving to see my mother.

"Hey, Auden." He kissed me as I came into the apartment.

"Hey." I smiled. "You ready to go?"

"N-"

"Auden!" Thisbe jumped up from the bed, making me frown.

"Why is my sister here?"

"Heidi got caught up in something."

I picked up Thisbe when she came to me. "We're supposed to head out to my mom's house."

"I know. We can after Heidi comes back to get her."

Thisbe patted my head. "Hi."

"Hi, Isby."

Giggling, she turned to look at Eli. "Go?"

"Me and Auden are going somewhere later."

"Auden and I," I corrected, but Eli just rolled his eyes. "I'm serious, Eli. When we get to my mother's, don't say stupid things. I don't want her to have more reasons to put you down."

"Anyways, how have you been?" He took Thisbe from me before setting her on the bed. "Your stomach, I mean."

"Fine."

"Good." He sat down next to Thisbe. "Me and your sister here were about to play a game."

"What game?"

"Hide and seek. It would have sucked with just two people. Now you're here though, so…not it."

"No it!"

I frowned. "What?"

"We both said not it. Now you're it." Eli pointed to the door. "Go outside, count to twenty, and come back in."

"Eli…we're in the apartment. Where could you possible hide and still be able to get back to base without me catching you?"

"Go, Auden."

Groaning, I walked out of the apartment, standing there for the allotted twenty seconds before going back in.

"Eli, do we seriously have to play this?" I glanced under the bed before going to the bathroom. While I was moving the curtain to check behind it, I heard the front door slam close. Frowning, I went back out there and checked. As I suspected, Eli and Thisbe were outside.

"I don't like this game. Where were you?"

"We can't tell you. We're still playing," Eli said. "Now count again."

This went on for about two more times before I told Eli that I was giving up, I didn't want to play anymore. So he and Thisbe went to work on something to eat while I laid down on the bed.

"You hungry, Auden?"

"Not really. My stomach's upset."

"No puke rule. Remember it. Me and Thisbe already took a vote. If you puke, you leave."

"Eli, shut up."

"Fine. More mac'n'cheese for me and Thisbe."

I cuddled under the blankets, sighing a little. "I have a headache too."

"Maybe you need coffee. I'll make some," he offered. 'Okay?"

He had been being nicer to me over the phone the past week. He was still struggling with the pregnancy thing though.

"What are you going to do all day tomorrow without me, Thisbe?" Eli got a pot out from under the sink. "Are you going to be sad?"

"Yes!" She wrapped her arms around his leg, making me smile a little. "Me go?"

"No. You're staying."

She let him go only to head butt his leg a moment later. "No!"

"Stop it, Thisbe. Be good."

"Me good." Patting his leg, she went over to the bed and climbed into it with me. 'Hi, Auden."

"Hi," I said, laughing a little at the way she made my name sound. "You know what you get to do on Monday, right?"

"No."

"Go see Dad. You want to go see Dad, right?"

"Yes!" She clapped her hands. "Eli?"

"What?"

"Go see Daddy?"

"I can't."

She groaned before looking at me. "Auden?"

"No. I have to go back to school."

"Auden no Daddy?"

"Huh?"

"Auden no Daddy?" She repeated. I didn't understand what she was trying to ask, so I just assumed she wanted to know if I liked our father.

"Yeah, I like Dad."

She giggled before looking at Eli. "Done?"

"It's not ready yet. Almost."

She groaned, cuddling against me. I closed my eyes and went to sleep for awhile. At some point, Heidi must have came and got Thisbe because, the next time I woke up, Eli was alone, doing the dishes. I watched him for a minute before jumping up to go to the bathroom.

"What's wrong?" Eli stood in the doorway while I threw up. "Oh."

When I finished, Eli got me a washcloth and washed off my face.

"Now are you okay?" He smiled at me. "I thought I told you no puking?"

"Sorry."

"It's okay. I was just joking." Eli turned and walked away. "You think that you're going to need to do that again? Or can we go ahead and take off now?"

"I'm fine," I said, walking out of the bathroom to get a drink. Eli shrugged before picking up his keys. "Come on then. We'll take my truck."

After Eli picked up a bag with his stuff in it and he got mine from my car, we were gone.

* * *

"Hi, Mom."

She just stared at me suspiciously. For a second, I thought that she wasn't going to let us in and just stand there blocking the doorway. Then she moved aside, letting me into the house. Eli came in with both our bags, avoiding my mother's eyes.

"Nice place," Eli mumbled to me. It was then I realized this was the first he had seen of my home. The inside at least. He had never been invited in. I don't think he was now; my mother was just biting her tongue. We hadn't seen each other in about a year even though I was only a few hours from home. She knew if she had said the wrong thing over the phone, I would have gladly made it two years.

"You think?" Not saying another thing to my mother, I led him up the stairs to my bedroom…where I promptly found out that I no longer had one.

"Auden, I did some…remodeling," my mother called from downstairs. "You can stay in your brother's room."

Okay. I went down the hall a little, expecting his to now be changed into a guest room or, like mine, be a storage room, but have a bed also. Instead, I found his room was exactly as it was. I blinked. Then I was angry.

"She freaking changed my room?"

Eli sighed, walking in behind me. "You're in college, Auden. My mom changed my room when I moved out."

"That's not the point, Eli. Hollis has been gone a lot longer than me and look. His room is still the same."

He shrugged as he set our bags down. "I don't know what to tell you other than this isn't something to get so worked up over. You need to be focusing on telling your mother."

"You know what? She didn't tell me that she changed my room, she no longer deserves to know. Maybe when the baby is older I'll send her an invitation to his graduation."

Eli smiled. "He?"

"What? No. I don't know. I just don't want to call the baby an it."

"Oh."

"Why? Is that what you want?"

"Well, yeah. Girls are annoying and ungrateful. I mean, look at you."

Okay, now I was mad at him too. "Shut up, Eli. You don't get it."

"Aud, maybe you're overreacting. It's just a room. And you never even come here anymore."

"So? She could have called me. I haven't spoken to her in a year, Eli."

"Yeah. You could have called too."

"I don't have to deal with you."

"Is this like a pregnancy thing? Flipping out over nothing?" Eli went over to Hollis' dresser and looked at some picture frames that were on it. "He sure does have enough photos of himself. It's almost like he's a chick."

I groaned, laying down on my older brother's bed. "I've been here ten minutes and I'm already stressed."

"Well, don't be. Just like you told me with my mom, we're adults. Not high school kids. We can have a baby if we want a baby. Even if it is an annoying girl…"

"If we do have a girl, I'm going to tell her every single thing you said about her before she was born."

"No, you're not, Aud. I'll kill you if you do."

"Not more stupid threats. I'm not in the mood. And if we're having a kid, doesn't that mean you have to grow up a little?"

"Not until the baby is born, Auden." He went back to looking at photos on the dresser. "Until then, I can still act like a child."

"Unless she's a girl, right?"

"If the baby is girl, she' your problem. Lose my number."

"Eli, stop joking around. I know that you're just trying to make me feel better."

He snorted. "That's what you think."

"Eli."

"You wanna go tell your mom now?"

"No."

"Well, I do. I don't want to get all comfortable here if I'm just going to be kicked out. So if we're getting thrown out, I want to get it over with."

I groaned again as I stood. "Fine, I guess. But do not speak unless spoken to. Please. And, FYI, she won't speak to you. She thinks you're an uneducated, going nowhere, loser."

"…And you say the two of you haven't spoken in a year?"

"Let's just go."

When we got downstairs, we found Mom in the kitchen, pouring herself a glass of wine. Without turning around, she offered me some. I noticed that she had two glasses out.

"I can't…don't drink," I said, correcting myself.

"Is that so?"

"Yes."

Without even thinking that Eli might like some, she went to put the other glass away. Then she turned to face us.

"So why are you here, Auden?"

"I can't come to just see you?"

"You could, but seeing as you haven't in so long, I find it suspect that you suddenly chose to and insisted on bring him."

"He has a name."

"I'm sure he does." She took a sip of her red wine. "Regardless, I know that whatever reason you are here involves him. So let me be clear. I, under no circumstance, support this marriage."

"What marriage?" I asked, frowning. "Oh, you think…no. We're not getting married."

"Sure. The point is, Auden, I'm not paying for it. And I know his parents have no money for it, so hit up your father. Even after that failed book of his, I am sure that he'll be able to gather up some money to fund this…sham. I'll gladly chip in for your divorce lawyer later though."

I just stared at her for a second before speaking again. "That's not why we're here, Mom. I'm…Kind of…I…"

"She's pregnant," Eli said for me. I elbowed him.

My mom had been taking another sip of her wine and I feared she would choke on it. Instead, she just removed the glass from her lips and stared at me for a moment.

"Is that so?"

"Yes."

"And it's his?"

"Yes."

She laughed a little, which caught me off guard. Then she shook her head and finished off her wine before going back over to the bottle to get more. "So that's what you want money for?"

"What do you mean?" I asked while Eli relaxed, thinking the worst was over.

"I mean, honestly, Auden. Why did you even tell him?" She shook her head, still facing the counter as she got more wine. "You could have done it without him knowing."

I glanced at Eli, who just shrugged, clearly not knowing what she was talking about. He made the motions of drinking with his hands, trying to imply that she was drunk. I rolled my eyes, though I wasn't going to totally write off the fact she could have been drinking prior to our arrival. Since she and that grad kid broke up, she had been all over wine. Well, I assume so, because she was drunk the last few times I saw her the year before.

"Done what, Mom?"

She turned around to face me, taking a sip of her wine before speaking. "The abortion."

Should it shock me that while Heidi had given me a choice and Karen had automatically assumed we were keeping the baby, that my mother would go off on her own path?

"Mom-"

'It's fine. I'll pay for it." She shook her head at the two of us. "Mistakes happen. Luckily, these are just as easily fixed."

"Mom…We're keeping the baby."

Now I got the anger I had been expecting. My mother's face changed.

"Is that so?"

"Well, yeah. It's my baby, Mom."

"That's great, Auden. Your brother threw away his life away on that woman and now you're doing the same on…him." She shook her head slowly this time, frowning. "That's fine."

"I'm not throwing my life away, Mom. I'm finishing school."

"Are you?" She laughed a little again, though this time I got a sinking feeling in my stomach. "On whose dime, Auden? Because it won't be mine. Not as long as you keep that…bastard."

I could tell that Eli was starting to get pissed off, but honestly I was more concerned with my stomach. I had now come to terms with the fact it wasn't Mom that was making my stomach churn, but those stupid tacos Eli suggested we eat on the drive here.

"My kid isn't a bastard," Eli told my mother, matching her frown for frown.

"As uneducated as you are, I would think you would at least know a definition of such a simple word."

"Mom."

"No, Auden. You brought him into my house so that…Why did you bring him, exactly?" She sat her glass down again. "You didn't think that I would embrace the two of you and offer up money, did you?"

"No, but I-"

"I don't know what exactly you're wanting, but it's not happening. I can't believe that you really thought I would let you get away with this."

"Away with what?"

"I have colleagues at the college, Auden. Did you ever think about me? No."

"Selfish much, Mom?"

"Me? Selfish? You're the one that's going to be raising a child without the slightest idea of how you're going to care for it. I'm not loaning anything and your father is barely staying above the water."

"She has me," Eli said, but that just got him an eye roll from dear old mom.

"Auden, you can't honestly think he'll stay with you through this, do you?" For the first time ever, she addressed Eli by name as she said, "You know, Eli, you can't even afford your own rent to a one bedroom apartment. What are you again? A mechanic? Oh, right, that would require some form of intelligence."

I grabbed Eli's arm, holding him next to me.

"You know, Eli," my mother began, apparently planning on making up for all the times she pretended she not only didn't know his name, but also that he wasn't even present. "A little girl down the street is getting her training wheels off next week. Look, I found you a job."

Eli stood there for a second before shaking his head. "I'm not going to fight with you. We're having this baby. And when you come around to the idea of that, realize that I'm going to be there. Always. I'm not going to say that I'm always going to be with Auden, but I'm always going to be there for our kid. Get over it."

After Eli walked away, I stood there for a second, watching my mother. I had spent my whole life pleasing her, so while I knew me being with someone that was below her standers hurt her, I knew that having a child with him was killing her. As much as she favored my brother, which she did heavily, she had always prided herself on my intelligence. Now doubt she thinks I'm a fool now.

"Are we leaving?"

I sighed as I came into Hollis' room. "Do you want to?"

"I'm not going to stay here if that woman-"

"Eli, my stomach's upset. I really don't want to drive back tonight. You can just stay in here all night, alright?"

He shook his head before laying down on the bed. "Whatever, Auden."

"Eli, it's my mom, alright?"

"I'm aware."

"And it's not like we expected her to be nice about this. She's upset."

"You're an adult, Auden."

"Yeah, but my mother still pays my bills, Eli."

"You have a job. And scholarships. And I work. I'll find a second job if we need it. Auden, we're not getting rid of our baby so that your mom will keep paying for your college. If you honestly are that concerned with it, tell her that you'll give the baby to me and have nothing to do with it."

"Eli, did you really think that's what I meant? No. I'm not going to abort my baby to make my mother happy."

"Good. I wasn't going to let you."

"Whatever, Eli."

My stomach was still sick, so I went to the bathroom instead of continuing to fight with him. We're on the same freaking side, so I don't know why he's attacking me. When I got back to my brother's room, Eli was texting. I just sighed, sitting down next to him.

"Your phone went off, but it was your dad, so I didn't answer," Eli told me, nodding towards the dresser where my cell sat. I got up and got it before laying down next to him this time. Eli reached out and rubbed my stomach for a moment.

"You sick, baby?"

"Those stupid tacos that you just wanted to eat. I wanted a burger, but no."

He stopped rubbing my stomach and leaned down to kiss it instead. I frowned, as this was new for us. Eli just kissed my head after before going back to his phone.

"Jake's in trouble with my parents."

"Is that who you're texting?"

"No. Adam. He says that Jake got drunk and brought some girl home with him. You know that he's staying with my parents again."

I shook my head. "You're brother's a freak."

"I'm just glad it's my baby in there and this isn't happening years ago."

I gave him a look. "We used protection."

"Good. At least I don't have to worry about you giving me whatever my brother could have given you."

"Oh, shut up."

Eli smiled as he finally put his phone back in his pocket and laid down next to me. "You gonna call your dad back?"

"I guess I kind of have to."

Laying his hand on my stomach once more, Eli closed his eyes. "I'm just amazed that Heidi hasn't been telling people."

"Same here."

"I don't get why you told her so soon."

"I guess that I was secretly hoping that she would let the secret out and tell my father and he'd tell my mother. Is that childish?"

"No more childish than your mother was acting when we told her."

"I personally think she took it better than your mother."

'Oh, come off it."

I smiled at him, even though his eyes were closed. Leaning up, I kissed his lips gently, making him smile. Then my phone had to ring again, ruining anything that would have happened. And it's not like we were going to go very far, as we were in Hollis' bed.

"Hello?" I answered as I pulled back, Eli opened his eyes and moved closer to me.

"…You're pregnant."

"Dad?"

"Your mother called."

I sighed. "Dad-"

"I was in the middle of a break through on my new novel, Auden."

"Oh, okay."

"You better believe that I cared enough about you being pregnant to pause what I was doing to talk to you. Are you alright?"

"Yeah."

"What about the boyfriend of yours. Eli. She said that he was there too."

"He is. He's fine too," I said as Eli watched me.

"When were you going to tell me?"

"Right after Mom."

"Why her first?"

"I thought that she would get upset if I told you before her. You know how competitive she is." So was he, really, but he was so self-centered that I figured he wouldn't' care that much and I wanted to get the hardest things out of the way now.

"She said that you're keeping it."

"We are."

He sighed. "Your mother isn't happy."

What does make her happy? Well, wine, but besides that.

"I know."

"Are you?"

I glanced at Eli, who was still watching me while stroking my stomach. "Yeah. I think I am."

"Then you have my blessing," he said. "As for your mother, that's your own problem."

"She'll get over it." I sat up a little bit and Eli moved to wrap his arms around my waist. "How are you, Dad?"

"I'm doing well. Book sells are up."

"Are they?" Liar. I rolled my eyes.

"Yes."

"Have you seen Thisbe recently?" I asked before regretting it. He paused for a second.

"Last month. I tried to come down this month, but things got in the way."

I thought about what I would do if Eli ever just ditched me and our baby. If it was a girl, that is. He already made the pretty much clear…

"Really? Was it your new book?"

"Yes. And your brother came up to visit me."

"Mmmm." I shivered a little when Eli lifted up my shirt and kissed my side. "I have to go, Dad. We can talk later, okay?"

"Yes, of course. I'll talk to you later, Auden. Maybe next time I come down to Colby, you can come down from school and see me. You are finishing school, right?"

"Yes."

"Your mom said that she wasn't going to be giving you anymore money."

"Yeah, she made that pretty clear."

"Auden, if you…or Eli need anything, I'll be right there, okay? Money, a place to stay, anything. Dealing with the baby or not, alright?"

"Thanks, Dad."

"I'll see you soon, okay?"

"Alright. Bye."

"Goodbye, Auden."

After I hung up, Eli pulled me back down, making me lay under him. Careful not to rest his weight on my stomach like he usually would, Eli leaned down and kissed me.

"What'd he say?"

"That if we ever need money or anything to go to him."

Eli kissed my head this time. "You do realize that we're never taking a loan from either of your parents."

"Eli-"

"We're not."

"And what if your parents offered?"

"That's different."

"How?"

"Number one, they would only do it if we really needed it. Number two, they wouldn't offer that much, just enough to get us by. And finally, they're my parents."

"And? Mom and Dad are my parents."

"So? I'm the guy. If I want to take money from someone, I can. You, though, can't."

"Are you going to back that up with evidence or are you just trying to make yourself look like more of a douche?"

"Look, Aud, I already told you, I'm not taking money from your parents ever. That's just the end of the story."

"Whatever."

He kissed me again. "Besides, we just need to go to the doctor and see if this baby is a girl or boy. Then we know if I'm even going to be around."

"Your jokes have really gotten old."

"It's my calling, Auden. I'm meant to be a comedian."

"I'm sure."

He moved off me and got up. "I've got to pee, but I'm afraid of running int your mother."

"I think she's still downstairs, so you should be fine."

After he was gone, I send Maggie a text, telling her that mission: Tell Mom was not going well. At all. And that my father knew now. So all that was left was Hollis.

When Eli didn't come back after ten minutes, I assumed that the tacos finally got him, just in a different way than they had me. After thirty though, I went to look for him. The bathroom was empty, but the seat being left up told me he had been there. Great. He's somewhere in my mother's house, possibly lying dead from the blunt force trauma to his head that she caused.

"Eli?" I called out, looking in each room. I found him in my father's old study downstairs. Now that he had left, most of his books had been taken when he moved out. My mother had her own mini-library of books in her office, so these built-in shelves stayed empty. Mostly.

"Get out of that chair," I hissed, but Eli didn't move. He was sitting at my father's old desk, leaning back in his big red chair with some book in his hand. "And set that down."

"Why should I?"

"Because-" I stopped myself as I looked around. It was then that I realized that I was wrong. The bookshelves, which had only held one or two books in the past few years that my father forgot to take or didn't care for, were now filled again. I'll give it to my mother, she does like to collect many first editions and other rarities, but she couldn't have accumulated this many books while I've been gone.

"What's wrong?" Eli asked, looking up at me. "It's just a book. It was sitting here on the desk. It's not in English though. Who buys books in a different language?"

"Are you really that unrefined?"

I turned my head and saw my mother in the hallways, staring in at us.

"Mom-"

"Stay the night, Auden, but do not let him run amuck." She pushed passed me and came into the room, taking the book right out of Eli's hands. She went over to the shelf at the right side of the room and put it back in its proper place.

"Whose books are these, Mom?"

"Auden-"

"Are you with someone? Again? You didn't mention it."

"They're Robert's, Auden. I've been letting him keep things here."

Eli got out of the chair. "I'll, uh, be outback. Smoke break."

"You don't smoke," I said, but he shrugged, clearly just wanting an excuse to get away from my mother and me. After he was gone, I asked why she would let Dad keep his stuff here.

"His apartment is rather small. He cannot afford a bigger place at the moment. That's why I had to throw out some of your things and let him use your room as storage. He's low on money right now."

"Is that the only reason his things are here?"

She just stared at me. "Do not forget, Auden, you're my daughter. I do not answer to you."

"So he does come here to see you?"

I watched her eyes roll heavily. "Yes, he has before."

"Did you realize that while he's down here, doing whatever with you, he can't even drive a little bit to see Thisbe?"

"Who?"

"Don't pretend you don't know."

She huffed. "Auden, what he does with that woman and their daughter doesn't concern what he does with me. And what I do with him surely doesn't concern you."

"Sorry. I figured with how pro woman you are, you'd help another woman out by getting the guy you're apparently sleeping with to actually see his kids."

I made a face before walking off. I started to go to my room, but then remembered my father's stuff now occupied that space. Shaking my head, I instead changed direction and went outback with Eli. He was sitting on the porch, staring out at our backyard. Getting on my knees behind him, I wrapped my arms around his body and held him to me. Eli breathed out slowly, running a hand down my hands, which were clasped in front of his chest.

"You okay?"

"Yeah."

"It sure takes a lot out of people to stay here. I mean, do you guys ever have fun?"

"My mother has parties sometimes."

"No kidding?"

"They're all to talk about books, Eli. And yes, some of them aren't in English."

"That's no party. That's a book club."

"It's a party to her. I mean, she freaking invites all her grad students…well, male grad students over to get drunk."

"Your mom's a freak."

"You know it."

He laughed a little. "Tomorrow, when we get back, are you staying the night with me or going right back to college?"

"I'll stay the night."

"Good."

"Yeah." I kissed behind his ear. "I think my dad and mom are together again."

"Nah, I think he's just boning her."

"Eli!" I pushed him now, standing up. "I wouldn't have said that about your parents."

He smiled, standing up. "I wouldn't care if you did. Everyone has sex, Auden. Well, mostly everybody."

"What's the supposed to mean?"

"I dunno. Really, your mom is so rigid; I can't tell why any guy would ever want to bone her."

"Stop saying that word."

"Though, you're dad is kind of cold too…Yeah, I could picture them-"

"Stop before you get yourself in trouble."

"I just want to know who is on top."

"See? I said to stop before you got in trouble. Now I'm mad at you." I turned, giving him my back. Eli just came up behind me and pulled me to him.

"I'm sorry, Aud. It was a joke, really." He kissed the back of my head. "I'm sure they take turns."

"You're so sleeping on the couch."

He just laughed before letting me go. "I'm hungry. You think your mom will mind if we go through her fridge?"

"Probably not," I said, going into the house. "As long as I'm with you. I think if she caught you raiding her fridge alone, she'd take that as an opportunity to slaughter you."

"Mmm. Your mom sounds like my kind of woman. Talking about killing people and stuff."

"Difference is, you kill the one you love the most."

"You."

"Right. She'd be killing the one she hated the most."

"Me."

"Yep."

"See, Aud, That's where you're wrong," he said, going over to the fridge.

"How so?" I asked, watching as he looked for something quick to make.

"You're not what I love the most anymore."

"I'm not?"

"No, of course not." He pulled out a carton of eggs. "Normally, I'd eat two week old eggs, but since you're pregnant, you might not want to risk it. Want me to just throw them out?"

My mother didn't eat eggs. Only my father did. Brain food, he'd say. If they had been allowed to rot, I at least knew he hadn't been here in two weeks at least.

"Yeah, sure," I said, nodding a little.

"Man, it's like your mom doesn't eat. No cold pizza, no left over soup, no nothing."

"She likes to eat out a lot," I said, frowning as he pulled out a head of browning lettuce. "Put that back."

"Go ahead and throw it out."

We both turned as my mother came into the kitchen. She immediately went over to the cabinet that she kept the wine in. "Your brother came home a few weeks ago. You know the expensive cabinet that I kept the wine in before, Auden? It was in the living room? Lovely piece, that was. He broke it. Now I have to keep it in the kitchen, like a poor person. No offense…Eli."

I looked at Eli, but he just shrugged. At least she had called him by name. This was a start. It was definitely a start.

"What are you two doing, anyways?" She asked as she poured herself another glass.

"We're looking for something to eat," I told her.

"Oh, there's nothing good in there," she said, shaking her head. "You might want to order a pizza if you don't feel like going to out to eat."

"What are you eating?" I asked.

"I feel ill, actually," she said, taking another sip of her beloved wine. "I think I'll being going to bed now."

"Goodnight, Mom," I said, watching as she walked away. She stopped midway.

"Oh, and Eli?"

He frowned at the sound of his name. "Yes?"

"Do not go into Robert's study anymore. Or anywhere else in the house."

"Gotcha," he mumbled, closing the fridge. After she was long gone, he said, "I think she likes me."

I rolled my eyes as I pulled out my cell phone to order the pizza. "Don't kid yourself."

 


	3. Chapter 3

 

Surprise, surprise, the most excited people about my pregnancy weren't me. Nor Eli. Not Karen. No way Mom. Surely not Dad. Nope.

"Heidi, isn't it kind of early to-"

"No, Auden," she said in that tone that I knew meant she was about to try to drop major money on me. Well, not me, but my baby.

"Well…Can't I just use the one that Isby used?"

"No take me stuff!" Thisbe frowned at me from the backseat. "Buy baby new stuff!"

"What if I get pregnant while you're still using the crib, Auden?" Heidi asked. "Huh? Then what?"

I think that would be when we buy the second crib…

"Alright. But I'm buying it. Just not today. Eli-"

"I don't understand what reserve you two have about loans," Heidi said, rolling her eyes. "It's not like I'm giving you the stuff. I would fully expect you to pay me back."

I just sighed, leaning against the window. I was starting to wish I just hadn't told Heidi and surprised her the day after the baby was born. She kept wanting to go shopping for the baby, but Eli didn't have the money yet. What was his new job?

"Eli!"

We all looked out the window as we passed Tiger's Phones. Standing in front of it was their new mascot.

"At least it's fall," Heidi offered up as we came to a red light. "Could you imagine being in the suit during the summer?"

I still shook my head. "I told him that's a stupid job to get."

"There's not a lot to pick from around here, Auden. If his father didn't know the owner, Eli still would be looking. That's what not going to college gets you."

"Heidi-"

"Even with a degree, there's nothing to pick from."

"Eli wants to stay in Colby."

"And when you finish college, you're going to want to?"

"I want to be with my boyfriend and child."

"Eli Auden boyf'iend. Have baby. Wa-wa."

Heidi sighed. "Thank you, Thisbe. I didn't remember."

My half-sister smiled brightly at her praise.

I shook my head. "You know how much gas we would save if I just stayed down here?"

"Auden-"

"And if Eli's going to have a horrible job, why can't I? It's not like the kid will care."

"No one wants you to dropout."

"I could finish this year and-"

"Auden, just how about dropping the conversation instead?"

Rolling my eyes, I began to wish that I was the one out there in the tiger suit instead of Eli. At least he didn't have to change. He could do whatever he wanted.

* * *

I convinced Heidi that I was going back to get the crib that we had picked as soon as Eli had the money. After that, she took me and Thisbe out to eat, insisting to at least pay for that. When we got back in town, she had to get back to work, where Leah was looking after the store.

"Go see Eli?"

I shook my head at Thisbe as I got her out of the car. "He's being a tiger right now, remember?"

She nodded. "Go see Adam? 'ake?"

I sighed, watching Heidi go into Clementine's. I called out to her and told her that I was taking Thisbe across the street, to see the boys. She agreed before continuing on into her little shop.

"Hi, A…Wallie!" She ran around the counter, having expected Adam, but instead finding Wallace. Wallace wasn't a really happy person for the most part, or so I had been noticing recently. He had never really liked me, mostly because I think in the beginning he thought I was playing Eli and Jake. Seeing as we were off to a bad start, when the girl that he had been off and on with moved to Europe, he kind of got depressed.

"Hi, Thisbe," he said, patting her on the head. "Hey, Auden."

"Hi." I looked around. "Where is everybody?"

"I am everybody until Eli shows up. He's at his other job right now."

"I know," I said, sighing a little. My stomach was kind of upset. "Isby wanted to play with you."

"No!" She came around the counter again to glare at me. "Wo'k. Me wo'k. Gets moneys for baby. 'ike Eli!"

"Money, huh?" Wallace leaned against the counter, smiling down at her. "There's none of that for you here right now, but I think I can line you up some work. Say…tomorrow?"

She nodded. "Yes. Tell Eli. Wo'k wid Eli."

"Well, not here, Thisbe. Clyde needs some help down at the Laundromat."

"Wo'k day?"

"Huh?"

"She wants to know if she can start today."

"No," Wallace said, shaking his head. "Tomorrow. But…can you dust for me today? For a dime?"

She rushed to get the rag that he held out to her before running around the store, making more of a mess than actually cleaning anything. I made a face.

"If she's too much trouble-"

"She's fine. I'll bring her back to Heidi before I close shop. Well, by then Eli will have showed up though, so I'm sure he'll have her."

"Alright. Bye, Thisbe."

She waved to me before getting back to…'work'.

* * *

I wanted so badly to sleep, but when I got to Eli's, I forced myself to study a little. It was about a week later and my mother had calmed down some, but told me if my GPA fell any because of the baby, she'd hit me in the stomach to fix the problem. Yeah. Got to get a lock on the wine cabinet.

"Hey, Maggie," I said, putting my phone on speaker as I continued to research something on Eli's laptop.

"Hey, you're in Colby still, right?"

"Until tomorrow morning when I head back."

"This doesn't seem very fair, you know. I have yet to see Eli up at our apartment since you told him you were pregnant."

"He works."

"So do you."

"On the weekends, he works, Maggie. You don't want him up there on a Tuesday when we have class the next morning. Well, you do. I have afternoon classes on Wednesdays."

"All the more reason for him to come. I won't complain at all."

"…Anyways, Mag, what did you want? Something to do with me being in Colby?"

"Right. My mother has a package that she was going to send me, but I told her that you could just pick it up. Please? I'm sure there are cookies in there. We can share."

"Yeah, of course. All you had to do was ask." I typed something on the laptop, sighing a little. "Is that all? I'm trying to get some work in before Eli comes back."

"Yeah. See you Sunday, Auden."

"Bye." After I hung up, I only got twenty more minutes before my own personal Toney the Tiger came walking in. After setting his suit down on the bed, he went to go get a soda out of the fridge.

"Saw Thisbe, but she was sleeping. I took her back to Heidi and she still didn't wake up."

"She'll be upset that she didn't get to see you."

"I'll see her tomorrow, I'm sure. We hangout all the time. She loves me, Auden. Way more than you."

"Should I call the cops now or wait?"

"Ha ha. I'm serious though."

"I know that she loves you. You spend more time with her than anyone. Even my dad."

"I'm the babysitter."

"She thinks that you're her…I don't know. Family of some sort."

"I am. I'm the father of her nephew now."

"Or niece."

"Better not be a niece."

"Eli."

He just laughed, coming to lay down next to me. I typed a few more things onto a document I had open before reaching down and picking up his tiger head.

"You have fun at work?"

"No."

"We passed by you on our way to get a crib."

"Auden, I told you not to let Heidi buy that."

"I didn't. We just looked."

"Good."

"Yeah." I twisted my neck around while trying to pop my shoulders. Eli frowned.

"Your back tight?"

"My shoulders hurt."

"You are not pregnant enough for that."

"It's from sleeping in the car on the way back from looking at cribs."

"Oh, my poor baby mama." He made me move around on the bed so that I was in between his legs.

"Call me that again and I'll make it to where you can't make a baby with any mama."

"We need to work on your comebacks, babe." He kissed the back of my head as he began to rub my shoulders. I just groaned. "What?"

"You're have girl hands. Harder, Eli. This is just teasing."

"Harder, eh?" He pushed into my shoulder blades, making me sigh, leaning into him. "Better?"

"Yeah, but I need to keep studying."

"Multitask, Aud. You're a woman. You can do that."

I just shook my head. "I'm so tired."

"Nap a little and then-"

"No, I need to work."

He kissed my neck. "Then I'll stay up too."

"Oh, I know you will, because you're going to keep working on my shoulders. Harder."

He just laughed.

About two hours later had us both now done with our tasks and we were lounging on the bed. I was near sleep with my cell rang. Yawning, I picked it up from where it sat next to me on the bed.

"Hello?" I opened my eyes and saw Eli watching.

"Eli won't answer his phone."

"Mmmm, he's right here. It's probably still off from work. You wanna talk to him, Mrs. Stock?"

"No, it's okay. Are you sick?"

"Just resting," I said, sighing as Eli moved closer to hear what his mother was talking about with me. "Why? Did you need something?"

"No."

"Eli needs to cut your grass though. We can come over right now if you-"

"No we can't," Eli said, taking the phone. "Hey, Mom. No. No. She's tired. Yeah. She's leaving in the morning. Yeah. Nope. Alright. Love you. Bye."

"Why are you so short with your mother recently?" I asked, frowning as he sat the phone down.

"I'm not. I just want to get back to sleep. You don't?"

I shook my head before closing my eyes. "I guess."

Eli ran a hand down my face. "Aud?"

"Mmmm?"

He kissed me. "I love our son. If it is a son."

"No more jokes, Eli. I'm tired."

I got a kiss on the head. "You smell good."

"Not now, Mr. Horny."

"Hey, I'm just trying to sleep. You're the one that won't let me sleep."

"Is that how you see it?"

"Most definitely."

Around nine that night, I left Eli still sleeping, going to get us some burgers from Last Chance. On my walk there, I ran into Jake.

"Guess what, Auden."

"I'd rather not."

"I have a new girlfriend."

Oh great. "Do you?"

"Yep. And it's someone you know," he practically sang.

"Who?"

"Guess."

"Jake, honestly, I don't care, so I can't-"

"Isabel."

I blinked. "Isabel. Works at Last Chance, Isabel? Friends with my ex-stepmother Isabel?"

"Yep."

"Woman I hate Isabel."

"Uh-huh."

I started walking again, Jake now changing direction to follow behind me. "She's too old for you."

"After twenty, Auden, there is no age that matters, so long as it isn't, like, a decade."

"A decade is only ten years, Jake."

"…What's a century?"

"A hundred."

"Okay, half a century is my cut off. Unless I'm on the winning side of that."

I sighed, shaking my head slowly. "That's where I'm going now, actually, Last Chance."

"She's not there. Norm and Colie are though."

I didn't really know Isabel well. One of the first things she ever said to me though when I began to date Eli was that it looked sluty for me to date Jake's brother. Morgan, another one of Heidi's friends, quickly apologized and Colie, who was closer to my age, told me that I'd get used to Isabel. I hadn't. She's a bitch and they all just make excuses for her.

Eli told me that I wasn't allowed to fight with her. That Colby was a small town, and my reputation already wasn't the best. I can't see how it could be worse than Isabel's, but I listened to him, if only because this was his town. I don't want to cause any problem for him.

"You guys eat out too much," Jake told me as he still followed me.

"Jake, weren't you going the other way?"

"Yeah, but I was just walking around. Now we can talk. You know, Auden, I will be related to you soon."

"Eli and I aren't getting married."

"Oh, I know. My mom would flip if you did." He smiled at me. "I meant because I'm going to be your kid's uncle."

"Please don't remind me."

"You know, one day, I'll have to take little Eli or little Auden and explain to him or her how his or her mother slept with me."

"…And why would you have to do that?"

"To prove that you can be a slut and still turn out- No hitting!"

"I'm telling Eli that you're being rude to me," I threatened as I passed Heidi's shop. I could see Leah in there, though the sign outside said closed. I just kept walking, Jake still following.

"No need to do that," Jake said quickly. "Just don't mention anything to him. Not about Isabel either."

I frowned, glancing at him. "You don't mean…you really think that you two are exclusive?"

"Yeah."

"He's not going to like that. The last girl you were serious about-"

"She doesn't count."

"The other-"

"Or her."

"What about the one that you moved for? You went to Lakeview. Macy, right? That was bad."

"She doesn't count either, Auden. And her name was Monica. Macy was the girlfriend of the guy that tried to beat me up when he caught me sneaking into his house for food. It wasn't my fault though. Stella wouldn't let me eat dinner with them and Monica wouldn't loan me any money."

I sighed a little. "Jake, please, leave me alone."

"I'm here to help, Auden. That's part of my DNA inside you, technically. If my parents gave me and Eli each half of their DNA and then Eli gave the baby half of that, that means that I have, what? A third of my DNA in you? Not counting that night on the dunes."

"Number one, learn your fractions again. Number two, I will tell Eli now."

"What if I buy what you're getting at Last Chance?" He asked as we made it to the little restaurant.

"In exchange for?"

"Auden, I'm shocked at you. Maybe I'm trying to help save money for my future blood living in your stomach."

"Jake-"

"Just don't tell Eli any of the stuff I said, okay?" He held open the door for me. "Please? He told me to leave you alone and not talk to you anymore."

"Why?"

"Apparently, I stress you out. Or at least he thinks so." Jake shook his head. "I just think he's really jealous of what we had."

"See? Those are the things that I tell him."

"I'm kidding, Auden. I don't want you. Not know that you've been all over my brother." He smiled again. 'Plus…I've got my own girlfriend now."

Jake was wrong. Colie and Norm weren't around and instead some high school kid that was working at Last Chance now was there. Jake bought half our food, as he only had a couple bucks on him, and I bought the rest.

"See you around, Auden," he said a few minutes later as he walked me back to Eli's apartment. I nodded a little before going in.

"Here, Eli," I said, setting the bags down on the bed. "Food."

He stirred a little. "Aud?"

"Yeah."

"I have a headache."

"I'll start on coffee," I told him as he sat up to get his food.

"You walk there?"

"Yeah."

"See anyone?"

"No," I lied. "No one."

"Your stomach chill?"

"Cold?"

"No. Chill…Good…Alright? Is your stomach alright?"

"Oh, yeah. It's…chill."

He groaned. "You haven't even had the baby yet and you're already losing cool points."

"Did I ever have any?"

"After spending the night at your childhood home, I would have to say no." He pulled out a thing of onion rings from one of the bags. "Eating for five, Auden?"

I rolled my eyes. "I got that much for you, stupid."

"Right."

"And if you happen to not be able to finish it all-"

"You're going to get fat."

"You have to love me anyways."

"I don't even love you now." When I was silent, he looked up. "I was kidding, Aud."

"Huh? Oh, I know. I was just thinking about something." I stood in front of the coffee pot, watching it.

"Well come here, at least. Eat with me." He patted my spot on the bed. "Kept it warm, just for you and my little baby."

I made a face, going to get in my place. "I liked you better when you were rude to me."

"Fine. That can be arranged. I try to be loving-"

"You weren't being loving, Eli. Loving is when you are mean to me, because you do it in a loving, joking way that only you could get away with." I took an onion ring. Not for me, but for the baby of course. "What you were being was just weird. I wouldn't want a boyfriend like that."

"Good to know."

I nodded a little. "Can I have another onion ring?"

"Gee, a minute ago, sure, but now I'm mean again."

I frowned. "It's for the baby though."

"Oh, is it?"

"Yes."

"Is it a boy?"

"If that'll get me the onion ring."

He handed one over. "There you go, my dear son."

Smiling a little, I said, "So how pissed will you be when this turns out to be a girl?"

"It won't. If you like living here, you'll make sure it won't."

I just shook my head, going back to my own food. "I work next weekend, so I can't come down."

"That's fine," Eli said, dumping a few of his fries into mine. "There, you can have those. For the baby."

"Of course."

After dinner, Eli left the apartment. He didn't tell me where he was going, but I figured it was to hangout with his brother or his friends. I worked a little more on my school work before leaving too, headed to Maggie's parent's house. Her mother and little brother were waiting.

"Auden," his said, opening the door for me. "Mom! Auden's here."

I smiled. "Hey, Johnny."

"You can come inside," the seven year old told me. "Mom said so. She's in the kitchen. Come on."

I let him lead me into my roommate's home. "Did you help with the cookies that are in the box?"

"Yep! And I picked out the shirt we got her," Johnny said, nodding. There was such a huge age gap between Maggie and her younger brother, that as far as I knew there had never been any sibling rivalry. Every single time I saw Johnny, he always bragged on his older sister and talked about wanting to hang out with her when she came home.

"That's nice," I said, smiling at his mother. "Hi."

"Hello, Auden." She was at the kitchen table, chopping potatoes. "Do you want to stay for dinner? I'm making stew."

"No, I'm fine," I said, shaking my head. "I just ate."

"Alright then."

"Here's the package," Johnny said, going over to the kitchen counter. "You'll tell her though? That I helped pick out the shirt?"

"Sure," I said. After bidding them goodbye, I went back home. Well, back to Eli's. He still wasn't around, so I just went to bed, seeing as I would have to leave in the morning. Around four in the morning, I was woken up by him coming in.

Not realizing I was awake, Eli went and made a pot of coffee. Apparently hungry also, he put on some hotdogs, his favorite.

"Can I get one?"

He jumped a little, turning. "You're up."

"You're late."

"I don't have a curfew."

"Mmmm."

"You like ketchup this week? Or mustard?"

"I like ketchup, but the baby wants mustard."

"So both?"

"Mmmhmm."

"I wish I had some chips too, but somebody ate them."

"They were good too."

"I'm sure." He sat down on the edge of the bed to wait for his hotdogs to be done. "Jake got really messed up, by the way."

"What do you mean?"

"Drunk. He looked sober, but when I started to ask him about a date that I heard Adam say he went on, he suddenly got sick."

I pretended to suddenly because preoccupied with my fingers. "You think this is a hangnail?"

Eli glanced over at my fingers. "Don't know. Here, I'll bite it off for you."

"Ew, Eli!"

"What?"

"That's…nasty."

"How? I freaking shove my tongue in your mouth. What's worse than that?"

"I don't know. That just sounds…sick."

He shook his head. "I was trying to be loving again."

"I thought I said to stop that?"

Eli just sighed. "You make it hard to be with you."

"But that's what makes it interesting."

"If you say so."

"Eli."

He reached behind him and patted my leg. "Maybe I'll come see you next week. Then you don't have to come down here. I don't want you driving so much."

"And why not?"

He shrugged. "I just don't."

"Well maybe I like coming down. You know, it's like seeing family."

"Who? Thisbe?"

"Well, Thisbe, but not just her."

"Then who?"

"Like…Jake was saying how even if we don't get married, he and I'll still be family because he's the baby's uncle."

"When were you talking to my brother?"

"I, uh, don't remember. It was just…your family willl be my kid's family. That makes us related somehow. And then Heidi's here. And I know she's not related to me anymore, but she kind of is, since she's Thisbe's mom."

"She loves you."

"Isby?"

"No, Heidi."

"Eli-"

"She does. She talks about you all the time. Brags on you to everyone. Like she had anything to do with how smart you are. Everyone knows it was your repressive and bleak childhood."

I shoved him from behind. "Shut up."

"I just meant…you do have family here. It's a small town. We take care of each other." He paused. "Most of us, anyways."

"What's wrong?"

"I saw the wicked witch today."

"Who?"

"Bea Williamson."

My years in visiting Colby were growing everyday, enough so that I knew the locals. Especially the Willamson's.

"Bleh."

Eli shook his head at my noise. "I was gassing up at Quick Stop because all the pumps over at Gas/Gro were filled up and she was there."

"She say anything to you?"

"No, but that little brat she has that's mean to Thisbe was there."

"Who? That big headed kid?"

"Yeah. She's so mean to Thisbe. She's, like, four years older. Heidi keeps trying to fit in with Bea and them, but she just doesn't get it." Sighing a little, he said, "But I wasn't her target. Mira was there."

"Ooh. She was talking noise?"

"Like always. I don't know how Mira does it. I'd just hit her."

Mira was a nice older lady that was somehow connected to Norman and Colie. I wasn't that great of friends with them, so I wasn't sure how. Anyways, Heidi knew her and when Eli was out of town, she got to be the babysitter. I think it's good for Isby to be babysat by someone other than Eli sometimes, if only because I don't want the two of them to get too attached. One day, Eli's going to have to leave Colby and move with me, not taking my sister. I just don't want either of them to hurt too badly because of it.

"Do I not get points for talking noise?"

"Maybe in the late 90s."

"I missed my time period."

"Clearly."

After hotdogs and coffee, Eli went back to bed while I got up to shower.

"No hair in the drain," he called after me, but it just got him the finger. "You'll make a wonderful mother."

"Better than you will father."

"Ooh, wanna bet?"

I just closed the bathroom door. After showering, I gathered my stuff up and took it out to the car. The sun was coming up now and Eli was sleeping finally. I didn't want to wake him, so when I went back into the apartment, I just took a cup of coffee with me before trying to leave. Eli heard me though and called me over to the bed.

"You taking my coffee cup, you little thief?"

I rolled my eyes, walking over there. Eli reached out to take it from me, probably to get a sip, but I told him that I took mine black now. Recently, Eli had begun to take sweetener in his coffee, ruining it in my newly enlightened opinion.

"No," I said, now taking my own sip. "I'll bring it back."

"Mmm." He laid back again. "You don't have to leave so early."

"I want to."

"That's fine," he said, shaking his head slightly. "If you want."

"I do."

"You need gas money, huh?"

"Eli-"

"Just take a twenty," he said, pulling his wallet from his jean pocket. "I pay for Jake's half the time, I can at least pay for my child's mother's gas."

"Is that what I am?"

"Be glad," he said. "That's one step up from just girlfriend."

"Is it?"

"Yeah, I think so."

I took his money if only because I really did need gas. Eli made me give him a kiss and promise to call him when I got there before letting me leave.

When I got to Gas/Go, I went inside to get a big drink and something to eat. For the baby, of course. Just so happens that baby's uncle was in there, making the normal trouble that drunks do.

"Jake!" I rushed to get him. The man behind the counter, who had been yelling at Jake, now turned his anger on me.

"I am sick of having stupid drunks in here-"

"I'm taking him home," I assured the man.

"Home? The idiot belongs in jail!"

"Hey!" Jake, who had been leaning against me, stood up straight. "Do not yell at…Maggie?"

"Auden," I told him, taking his hand and dragging him out of the gas station. "Come on, Jake, let's go home."

"No, Auden, I can't. You're with my brother now-"

"What? Home, not bed, stupid. Where are you living right now?"

"With Dad and Mom." He shook his head as I helped in into my car. "I can't go there."

"I'll take you to Eli's," I sighed, figuring that was the only option. Well, Adam or Wallace or even Leah, but come on. None of them want him anymore than Eli and I do. Taking him up the steps to Eli's apartment was hard going and about halfway there, my stomach began to get upset. Now rushing him, I almost accidentally pushed him down when we finally made it to the door, in desperate need of the bathroom.

"What the-"

"Your brother's drunk," I said, closing the door behind us before running to the restroom. When I got out, Eli was yelling at Jake.

"-pregnant. She doesn't need to be dealing with your shit, making her all upset and stuff. Look at her! She had to go barf."

"Eli."

He looked over at me. "Well, you did, right?"

"…Something else. Eli, I don't want to talk about what I do in the bathroom-"

"Ha ha, your girlfriend just took a-"

"Shut up," Eli said, turning back to his brother. "You need to get your act together, Jake. You're not a kid anymore. You're growing. I'm not going to be here to clean up all of your messes forever."

Jake held his head, laying down on the bed. "Shhh. I wanna…wanna…sleep."

"Sleep, Jake," I said, going to pull off his shoes and then tucking him in.

"Auden, where am I going to sleep?"

"Your brothers. Here, Jake, scoot over for Eli."

"Um, no," Eli said as his brother attempted to move, but was failing terribly. "I'll go out."

"No, you'll stay with him."

"What?"

"Eli, if you don't, I will. I don't want him choking in his sleep or anything."

"He's fine."

"I mean it."

Eli went over to me and kissed my head. "I'm sorry that you had to deal with him."

"It's fine."

"We family," Jake told us both in earnest. His older brother groaned.

"No, you two aren't. And if you don't get your act together, Jake, you'll have nothing to do with my baby. Ever."

"Your not my girlfriend, bro."

"What girlfriend? You better not have some girl pregnant."

"Hypocrite," I told him, trying to get him to smile. He wouldn't though, clearly angry with his brother.

"You need to go." He ran a hand down my stomach. "And do not forget to call me when you get there."

"I will."

"Good." I got a quick kiss. "Now get out of here, Auden. Let me deal with my brother my way."

"Don't go, Auden. No," Jake whined as I left. "Please. Don't leave me with him."

I just waved before walking out the door. When I finally did get back to Maggie and my apartment, it was late. There had been a wreck that happened a few cars in front of me.

"Package," I said, setting it in front of her on the coffee table. After dorm life for a year, we both agreed to move in together in an apartment near the college. She looked up from her text book, smiling.

"Thanks."

I nodded, headed to the kitchen. Maggie had a major sweet tooth and I could usually find something disgustingly delicious that was high in sugar and fat. For the baby of course.

"You see Adam?"

"Once. He was…headed somewhere." On a date. He and Maggie had broken up for the millionth time a year ago. We all thought that it would be their normal get back together quickly, but they hadn't. When I complained about the frequent break ups, she just reminded me of Eli and mine.

"Oh. Hope he had fun."

"Yeah."

"You and Eli have a good time together?"

I nodded a little, watching her open the bag of cookies. "He has a new job. He's the tiger mascot for Tiger's Phones."

"What?" She looked at me and I gave a short nod. "I have got to see that. You take a picture?"

"He wouldn't let me."

"He sure is committed to getting more money."

I shrugged, now coming to sit down next to her. "By the way, Johnny wanted you to know that he picked out that shirt for you."

"Aw. I love him."

"Yeah."

She smiled at me. "How was Thisbe?"

"Fine. She wants to get a job to help Eli make money."

"They're cute together, Eli and Thisbe."

I shook my head. "I don't know, I guess."

"Jealous, Auden?"

"About what? Eli? Or Thisbe?"

She laughed, but then I remembered I had to call Eli. After just sending him a text, I studied with Maggie, counting the days until I got to go back to Colby where I really wanted to be.

 


	4. Chapter 4

 

Books » Along for the Ride »  **Those Few Months**  
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|  Author: Fallen Ark Angel | 1\. Chapter 12. Chapter 23. Chapter 34. Chapter 45. Chapter 56. Chapter 67. Chapter 78. Chapter 89. Chapter 910. Chapter 10  
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| Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Reviews: 28 - Published: 08-25-12 - Updated: 10-23-12 | id:8465624  
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Those Few Months

Chapter 4

There was rarely a solemn time between the two of them, but Eli and Thisbe were having one at the moment. He parked and got out before getting Thisbe out. He handed her a few flowers before leading her through the lines of headstones, making careful not to step on any. Used to playing follow the leader, Thisbe took the game very seriously and even went as far as to keep her head down, just like Eli. She did everything like Eli.

He had already told her to be quiet. She would usually test him on his orders at least once, as he was usually joking and also quick to forgive his little friend, but today he looked so sad that she went ahead and listened to him. Thisbe had never been to a graveyard before and had yet to learn its purpose. As Colby was such a small town, it wasn't very big and there was no one else around. It was so quiet that she got a little scared and walked faster, keeping right behind Eli, almost running into him when he stopped short.

Eli turned, now facing one of the gravestones, taking his hat from his head. It wasn't his usual one, as that one was currently on Thisbe's head, per usual. When she saw her best-est friend in the whole wide world ever take his off though, she immediately did the same, holding it over her heart, just like him. Eli saw this out of the corner of his eye and sighed silently, realizing the hat she was holding belonged to the young man in the grave they stood in front of.

Watching his every move, Thisbe saw that Eli now had his head bowed, not speaking though his lips were moving ever so slightly. She decided he was praying, like Mommy did. She had never seen anyone else in her life do this. And honestly Eli wasn't, praying that is. He was talking to someone, but it wasn't the Lord.

When he finished, Eli lifted his head back up and put his cap back on. Thisbe immediately did the same, watching him vigilantly. He nodded a little and she went to set down the flowers. Eli told her that she got to do it because she was the girl. She argued, but he told her that she should be happy about that, getting to lay down the flowers. It was a big honor or something. When she asked why Auden didn't get to do it, he said it was because he had never taken Auden to the cemetery. That made her so excited, being able to go somewhere with Eli that Auden didn't get to go.

They stood there for a moment before Eli walked away. Thisbe was happy as they left the melancholy place, but still, Eli didn't say anything. Maybe they were still supposed to be sad. She tried to change her face to match his, which she saw in the review mirror, but she couldn't. She was always happy when she with Eli. How could he expect her not to be?

* * *

Auden called when he got home, but Eli didn't answer. She wanted to tell him the sex of the baby, but it didn't matter. Today wasn't about them; it was about his lost friend.

"Who's that?"

"No one," he told Thisbe, turning the phone off. He picked her up and sat her down on his bed. "I'm tired, Thisbe."

She laid against the pillows, planning on waiting for him to sleep so that she could wreck havoc on his apartment. Eli laid down in Auden's normal spot, sighing when he realized that the pillow still smelled like her.

He wasn't supposed to have Thisbe today. He never had anything to do on this day, but Heidi had something come up. Some guy that she had apparently been seeing or something. He hadn't even known that there was a man in her life, much less did he care. He could have pawned Thisbe off on someone else, but she had been so excited to see him, he couldn't turn her down. She was his little buddy. Plus, he'd then have to explain to Heidi what was going on and admit that he was such a big baby that this day still meant something to him. Yeah.

"Night-night, Eli."

He smiled as Thisbe got on her hands and knees to push down the covers before stopping down by his feet.

"Shoes," she complained, trying to pull them off. Eli leaned down and did it for her. She never understood Eli and his shoes. They didn't have those cool lights that light up when you step like she did. Why wouldn't someone have cool lights in their shoes? It's ludicrous. Now content that he was shoeless, she grabbed the blankets and pulled them back up around them, sighing. She worked so hard these days.

Eli sighed, staring up at his ceiling. Thisbe mimicked him, closing her eyes. She knew that she meant to stay awake, but she somehow accidentally fell asleep. Oh well. Eli, the one that was supposed to be sleeping, couldn't. He kept wanting to get up and look at his phone, in hopes that Auden at least sent him a text, so that he could just read it and find out which one his baby would be. It shouldn't matter that much, not knowing. He'd be stuck with the baby either way.

"No, not stuck," he whispered to himself. It didn't matter what happened to his friend, he could never think about his baby that way. Even if Auden did kind of trap him. Sort of. It was his fault too, or so he had to constantly remind himself. It's not like she ever lied, he knew that she wasn't on the pill. And she couldn't say anything either, because she knew that he didn't like condoms.

And why did it matter so much, having a kid this young? Robert and Victoria had Hollis young, or so he assumed from Auden's stories. They turned out fine. They're even back together, or at least banging again. Then, look at Robert and Heidi. He had waited for that child and look where it got him. Back in Dr. Victoria West's bed. Ew.

Then his own parents, they had started young, with his oldest brother. They're fine. Happy. As far as he knows. And they've been together forever. Again, as far as he knows. Forever's a long time.

And it's not like if any of the people he mentioned got a chance to go back, they would. Or so he thought. He was still up in the air about Robert. They all got children out of the relationships they had and surely loved them. Again, Robert, but the man had offered them a place to stay, even though half his stuff was at his first and possibly third wife's place.

He couldn't get how Robert could just leave behind Thisbe. He could kind of understand his severed ties with Auden when he got remarried when she was a teen, if only because Auden was so old by then and put together, or so it seemed from the outside. Leaving Thisbe though, a little baby and so scared half the time, he would never get that. Sure, he joked with Auden about not caring about their kid if it was a girl, but that was all for show. He would be ecstatic no matter which they had.

No longer able to stand it, Eli got up from the bed, being extra careful to not wake up Thisbe. When he got to his phone, which sat on the one chair in the room, he picked it up and turned it back on. He did have a text, along with a message. Deciding to just read her text, as Auden was forming a habit of rambling, he was disappointed by what it said. Apparently, Maggie had just gotten broken up with and Auden couldn't go to her appointment. She was sorry. She'd have to reschedule.

"What?" He frowned. His baby had been disregarded because Maggie got broken up with? Hell, Maggie dated Jake! How great could this new guy be?

Grumbling, he went into the bathroom to wash his face. For a moment, when he looked up into the mirror, he saw… _him_ staring back at him, but when he blinked, the image mirrored back was just his own. God. He needed to sleep more.

Still cursing under his breath, Eli left the bathroom and put on a pot of coffee. He'd need to be up all day.

Thisbe began to whine in her sleep. She had been doing this recently. When he tried to get to the bottom of it, he was informed that one day, while he was working as the tiger for Tiger's Phones, Jake ended up as babysitter for the day. They watched horror film after horror film. To toughen her up. Eli was giving his brother one more chance to fuck up before he beat the shit out of him. Honestly, if Adam hadn't held him back, Eli would have done it that time.

"Shhh," he whispered, going to stroke her hair. He never meant to get so attached to the little girl, but he had. She was the only person that didn't know his past and didn't judge him for it. All she knew that was that he loved her and he loved her older sister. Everything else was just details that didn't concern her. When she saw him, she just knew that it meant that she was going to have a great day, playing with her best friend. He wanted it to stay that way forever.

Thisbe began to suck her thumb. Eli kept stroking her hair, sighing as he waited for his coffee to finish brewing. When it finally did, he went and got a cup before sitting down in the chair.

It was so cold and dark in here. It was like winter year round. He couldn't raise a kid in here. He could hardly handle living here.

"Eli no night-night."

He just watched as Thisbe got out of bed and came to sit in front of him. She leaned back against his legs, giggling.

If  _he_  hadn't died, Eli wouldn't have been anything to Thisbe. Sure, he'd have known her if only because he knew Heidi, but he wouldn't have dated Auden. At all. He'd be with Belissa, probably married by now, maybe divorced, but at least rich. He wouldn't be in Colby, he knew that. He'd be off somewhere, having fun. Not holding onto the few things that kept him from blowing his brains out.

Was it really a fair trade though? Thisbe for… _him_? He wasn't sure. He wasn't sure of anything anymore.

That wasn't all of it, anyways. If he was fated to be with Auden, he would have been with Auden, right? She would have showed up eventually in his life. Maybe they'd have met a U vs. Defriese football game. Or something. He couldn't imagine never having met her. That being said, years ago, he couldn't imagine life without his best friend either.

His current best friend, as bad as that sounded, patted his leg, wanting Eli to put her in his lap. He instead stood up and put his now empty coffee cup in the sink.

"Eli," she complained, standing. He turned and picked her up, holding her out in front of him.

"Hey, Thisbe? Can I tell you something?"

She nodded. Eli said the best things. Like the time he told her that joke about the knocking and booing and whoing. Yeah…

"I love you, okay? I didn't tell that to my last friend and now he's gone."

She giggled. Eli. Love. Auden would be so jealous. It will be amazing!

"Love Eli." She reached out and he brought her closer, letting her wrap her arms around his neck. Auden would be  _steaming_  now. Ha ha.

He rubbed her back gently, sighing a little. "Thank you for being so good today."

She ignored that. "Love Auden?"

"I know you do," he said, not realizing that was an interrogatory sentence.

"No. Love Auden?"

"Oh, me? Don't tell her or anything, but I love her more than I ever have anyone."

"Me?"

"It's a different kind of love, Thisbe. I love you, but not like that. I love Auden because…she's my girlfriend. I love you like…my best friend. Like how you love your mom, right? And you love Auden, right? Just different."

She didn't understand, but didn't want to seem stupid. Plus, it didn't really matter. Eli loved her. Only Mommy and Auden and maybe Daddy ever told her that. This was special. Ha, Auden. Eli loved her. Not like he loved Auden, no. Clearly, he meant that he loved her way more than her older sister. Clearly.

There was knocking at the door and, still holding his friend, Eli went to answer it. It was his mother.

"Hi, Eli."

Thisbe turned her head and smiled when she saw Karen. She was nice. She was Eli's mommy.

"Hey, Mom," he mumbled, taking a step back to let her in. Karen ran a hand down his arm that wasn't holding Thisbe.

"I figured today someone else could watch her."

"No. She wants me."

"Oh."

"Love Eli," Thisbe told her in earnest. She kissed his cheek, but Eli just let out a breath.

Karen shook her head. "Eli, I came to see if you were okay."

"Go see Eli f'iend," Thisbe said. Eli bounced her a little to get her to shut up. She took it as a sign of affection and giggled, putting her head on his shoulder. "Shhh! No be loud! No wear hat! Give flowers! Thisbe girl."

"Eli…"

"Mom, she's just talking. She talks too much when she thinks that no one else is going to say anything." Just like her sister. Eli went and sat the little girl on the bed.

Thisbe giggled. "Eli talk lot, no me."

"Yes, you."

She took off her hat and licked it. Eli patted her head.

"You know not to do that. Stop."

"Stop," she mimicked before putting his dead friend's hat back on. Karen walked further in and closed the door.

"But you're fine?"

"We both are," he said, still looking at Thisbe. "I'm going to need someone to watch her tonight though. Mira-"

"I can. Me and your father."

"Mom, you guys don't have to."

"We want to. All we've had to do recently is put up with Jake and, honestly, that's gotten boring."

"Okay, but after I finish what I need to do, I have to pick her up. She has to spend the night."

"That's fine. Where is Heidi, anyways?"

"Some guy that she met took her out of town or something. I don't know. I didn't ask."

"Didn't you tell her today-"

"No, Mom, I didn't. Thisbe wanted to see me and honestly, I'd rather be with her than any of my stupid friends."

"Yeah," Thisbe agreed, thinking that this was all about her. She always thought that. So she was self-centered, who cares?

"Eli, I know that it's easy to distract yourself with…taking care of something, but Thisbe-"

"She thinks I'm like her brother or dad or something, okay, Mom? I'm not going to just leave her like they all did."

"Like you think he did you?"

He sat down on the bed and Thisbe immediately hugged him from behind, wrapping her little arms around his neck. "He died, Mom. Died. They don't give a damn about Thisbe for the most part. They just all put her off on me. Robert, Hollis, Heidi, even Auden. She's my job now."

"She's not an animal, Eli. If you want something to take care of, buy a dog."

Why was she fighting with him? Today? Of all days, why was she questioning his relationship with Thisbe now? What makes today such a good day to wonder why the grown man's best friend is just a little kid? Huh? Seems like someone should have worried about that years ago.

"Someone has to take care of her. I do. I'm her babysitter."

Thisbe didn't understand half the things they were talking about, so she just let Eli go and jumped off the bed.

"Hungry." She went to stand in front of the stove. "Eli."

He sighed, standing up. "Mom, I have to make her food. I'll see you when I drop her off tonight."

"Eli-"

"I have to, Mom. I haven't made her lunch yet." He went to go get the pot to make hotdogs. "How many, Thisbe? One?"

"…Eighty."

"So one." He put on in along with five others for him. What? If Auden got to eat for the baby, so did he.

The little girl wrapped her arms around his leg, sighing a little. Poor Eli. His mommy wouldn't just let him play. Her mommy let her play all the time. It was just her daddy who wanted her to learn to read and stuff. Who needed reading? Boring people like Daddy and Auden, that's who. That's why Auden was away at school and Thisbe got to spend all her time with Auden's boyfriend. The poor girl. She wouldn't know what hit her.

"Eli, I'm trying to help."

"Help what, Mom? He's dead. D-E-A-D. Nothing will ever change that. And I've been taking care of Thisbe since her parents split up. I find it very suspect that you suddenly need to bother me about it. What? You think I'm doing something wrong by taking care of her? I'm not. She's my girlfriend's little sister. One day, she'll be my little sister."

"Eli…around town they've been…talking."

"I know. I've heard."

"They just find it…weird, her staying with you constantly."

"Heidi told me what people were saying. Auden heard what people were saying. I don't give a shit what people are saying."

"Don't you curse at me."

"Then don't you stand in my apartment and hang around the edges of something. You want to know if I'm dong it? Touching her? I'm not. I never would. That's sick. You're my freaking mother. I figured I wouldn't have to explain to you that I wasn't. I figured you'd know that Colby is just a breeding ground for gossip about the working class. I figured you'd know, that Thisbe only spends the night when Heidi's out of town or Auden's over. I figured my own mother knew I wasn't a sick person, but apparently not."

"Eli…I didn't-"

"No, you did. You don't want people saying that about me around town anymore. You want me to just leave Thisbe alone. I'm not going to just so that you can walk around town without Bea making faces. Eventually, something else will happen around here and people will shut up. I don't care how long it takes though, because I'm always going to take care of Thisbe."

"I-"

"Mom, just leave, alright? Okay? You're the freaking baby expert, right? Look at her. Did I touch her? You'd know, right?"

"You-"

"Just get out."

"Alright, Eli. Fine." Karen left them alone and Eli just stared down at the pot of water.

About a week ago, Heidi informed him that Bea and her friends had been accusing him of messing with Thisbe. It made no sense that a twenty year old would spend so much time with a toddler that wasn't related to him. Would it have been that big of a deal if he were a woman? Probably not. But who trusts a man these days?

Heidi wasn't accusing him or anything. She just wanted him to know what was being said. It didn't make sense to Eli, them saying it now. He had been taking care of Thisbe for how long? He knew the real reason they were saying it though. His father had recently spoken out against the Williamson's at a city council meeting. Suicide in a small town like Colby. As his mother and father, though not very rich, were well respected around town. So they had two options. Go with the obvious and talk about Jake or hit below the belt with Eli. They made their choice.

Heidi was quick to reassure him that she didn't think that anything was going on. At all. And Eli didn't care what other people said about him. It was more of the rich trying to make the poor fall in line. It wasn't fair that his father's choices could cause so much turmoil in his own life, but what else was new?

"Eli?"

"Shhh, Thisbe."

"Sad?"

"No. I don't let them get to me." He patted her on the head.

"Little sis'er?"

"One day. When Auden says that we can get married. Right now though, she's scared."

"Why?"

"Because she thinks that no one stays married."

"Do?"

"A lot of people do. It just takes work. Auden's good at working with her mind and I'm good with my hands. We can work together."

"Me?"

"You? You'll be our little sister. You can help with the baby. You'll be an aunt. You ready for the responsibility?"

Uh, duh. She was the amazing Thisbe, after all. "Yes!"

"Then we'll all work together, on making sure that Auden and I stay together. We just have to get her on board."

"'ike ship?"

"Just like a ship. And you know what your job can be?"

"What?"

"You can scrub the poop deck."

"Ew!"

"Yeah."

"No. Me skipper."

"Fine. What if we make Auden scrub the poop deck?"

"Yes."

"We're in agreement then."

After they got their hotdogs, they sat down on Eli's bed to eat them. They were sitting on the edge, meaning that Thisbe felt the need to kick her feet back and forth, like most toddlers.

Toddler. She was a freaking baby, really. She wouldn't even be four for a few more months. Why did they have to bring a baby into their sick gossip? They could say what they wanted about him, but when they messed with her, it hurt. There was so much more to torment Eli about. Messing with the one thing that kept him alive wasn't fair.

"You want a dog, Thisbe?"

"Yes."

"I can't have one in this apartment. Maybe I should buy a house. For me and Auden. And the baby."

"Me!"

"And you. I'll make sure that you have your own room. It'll be a huge house. With a pool. I'll have pool parties. And barbeques."

"Here?"

"Yeah, it'll be in Colby." He sighed, knowing that he was just dreaming. He could barely afford the apartment he had now. And then he was supposed to take care of a baby? And Auden. It wasn't fair. "We can have a tree house too."

"Yeah!" She patted his leg as she finished her hotdog. "'nother?"

"Here." He ripped one of his in half and handed it to her. Thisbe leaned against him as she ate, sighing a little. You'd think that Eli's apartment would be boring to her, after all there was no TV, which meant there were no Teletubbies, Thisbe's favorite. Or Barney. Or Blue's Clues. She'd give up all of that for Eli though, just like he'd give up his good name.

* * *

"Eli, we didn't think you'd make it."

He nodded at his friend's mother, though he didn't look her in the eye. He never would be able to do that again.

"There's cake in the kitchen."

Sighing, Eli passed his dead friend's father, who was sleeping on the couch. He wouldn't take any part of the festivities. Ever. Eli shook his head as he made it into the kitchen. Everyone was already there. Not Maggie though. She was with Auden, crying over her break up. At least she was alive to be broken up with.

"Hey, Eli," Jake said, a stupid cone birthday hat on his head. Eli shook his head, just glad that his brother wasn't drunk. Yet.

"Now that everyone is here, we can light the candles," the woman said, coming into the kitchen. "Well, everyone except Maggie and Ester."

Eli stood there, leaning against the counter, arms crossed over his chest. This was not how he wanted to spend this day. Yet he did, every year, just to make his friend's mother feel better. He felt like he owed it to her.

"Eli, you didn't bring a gift," the woman scolded.

"I'm low on money."

"Still."

"Eli's girlfriend is pregnant," Adam spoke up. "They're saving for the baby."

"Oh? No one's told me that. Congratulations."

He could hear it in her voice. Eli didn't deserve a baby. Or even a girlfriend. His dead friend did. Everyone knew that. Eli should be dead. Auden should be  _his_. And so should Thisbe. And the new baby. Everything.

Leah, sighed a little. "Who wants to blow out the candles?"

"Jake can," the woman said after she lit them. "You like that, right, Jake?"

"Yes," he said, just like he always did. Maybe ten years ago. Now none of them cared. She did though. So they all showed up. Every year. For this birthday party. And if you have a party to celebrate a birth, why not one for death?

* * *

"Little girl tired herself out. She's a handful."

Eli stepped inside. "Thanks for watching her, Dad."

"No problem. She's easier to deal with than your brother. Where is he anyways?"

"I don't know. With Wallace, I think."

Thisbe was asleep on the couch, a teddy bear from when Steve's kids spent the night tucked under her arm. Eli didn't feel like leaving yet, so he just sat down next to her.

"Eli, I think we need to talk."

He had been expecting this. "Okay, Dad."

His father sat down in his chair, sighing a little. "Your mother said that the two of you spoke."

"Yeah."

"Eli-"

"I'm not going to stop babysitting Thisbe. Number one, if anyone actually believes that bull, that just makes me look more guilty. Number two, I did nothing wrong. I'm being helpful. Heidi is a single parent and Robert hardly ever shows his face. I started doing this for Auden, but now I'm doing it because I like to. I like taking care of Thisbe. A lot."

"I know, son, but-"

"But what? There's nothing wrong with babysitting while being a guy. Just because this town is full of sick pervs that want to make me taking care of her into something disgusting doesn't mean that I'm going to fall into their little trap. This is payback for what you did and it's not fair. I did nothing wrong. I'm never going to do anything wrong. I don't think like that. She's a freaking little kid."

"I know, Eli. I know."

"Then what? What do they want from me? When he died, they all said it was my fault. Then, when Jake started getting drunk, that was my fault to. And now, because you did something, I have to be called a child molester? For what? Huh? Nothing. I did nothing."

"Eli cry?" Thisbe woke up, sitting up. "Eli?"

He was still crying, tears streaming down his face. "I don't want to be in this stupid town anymore, Dad. I'm tired of it. I'm tired of the stupid hierarchy that's been created. Because you don't make thousands of dollars a month, you can't say what you want? That's bullshit."

"Eli-"

"No. I've been in this town just as long as everyone else, but I'm the creep? For being a good guy? All these rich bastards couldn't help Heidi, but I did? Now I'm the freak?"

Thisbe climbed into his lap and took off her cap. She got on her knees so that she could reach to the top of his head, where she put the hat. There. All better.

"Eli, I know that things seem hard right now. This is a hard day to-"

"Why? Huh? This day's the same as always. It's not the day, Dad. It's these stupid fucks that think they run Colby. They don't."

"Eli-"

"They don't." He stood up, taking Thisbe with him. She waved to Mr. Stock before wrapping her arms around Eli's neck.

"Sad?"

"Shhh."

She hid her face in his neck as he carried her over to the truck. After buckling her in, he drove her to his place so that they could go to sleep. That's what they needed to do. Sleep this day away.

When he opened his door though, there, laying on his bed, was the only person that could make it better or complicate it, just by opening her pretty little mouth.

"Auden!" Thisbe pushed out of Eli's arms and ran to get into the bed with her big sister. "Auden! Eli, Auden!"

"I see."

"Hi, Isby." Auden stood up, smiling. "Eli-"

"What are you doing here?"

She was still all smiles. "You know how I texted this morning that I couldn't make it to the doctor? Well, Maggie pulled through and I got there about two hours late. The doctor took me. Instead of just texting you, Maggie said that the both of us should drive down. Neither of us have classes tomorrow until the afternoon. She had some party to get to or something. We got here too late for it, but that was fine. Anyways, I came to tell you. I know the sex. Of our baby."

Eli sighed, having forgotten about that. "Auden, I'm having a shit day-"

"A girl. We're having a girl."

It was silent for a second and Eli watched Auden's face. She was waiting for him to make some kind of joke about not caring for a girl baby. Instead, he shocked her by going over to her and pulling her into a tight hug.

"A girl?"

"Yeah."

He let out a sigh, letting her go. "You hear that, Thisbe? You're gonna have a niece."

"Yay!" She jumped off the bed and he caught her. "Name?"

"We don't know yet." He forced a smile for her. "You'll have to help us pick, huh?"

"Yes."

Auden wrapped her arms around herself and Eli noticed she was in his blue hoodie. It was too big on her, heck it was on him too, but she liked it for some reason. He liked it on her too.

"How long can you stay?" Eli asked, turning to face his girlfriend again.

"We're going to head back at three in the morning, so until then."

"Aud, I don't know if I like you out that late alone."

"Mag-"

"Without a guy is what I meant."

"I don't think you're my parent."

"No, but I would never want my daughter out that late either."

"Eli, that's how our whole relationship started."

"And? I was with you."

"What are you saying?"

"What if…I go back with you?"

She smiled a little. "You wanna?"

"Yeah."

"What about Thisbe?"

He looked down at the little girl. "Heidi went out of town for two days. I have her. I'll call and see if it's okay. You wanna come, Thisbe?"

"Yes."

"Good. We all need to get out of this town for a little while." He pulled his cell out of his jean pocket. Heidi picked up.

"Is something wrong, Eli?"

"Huh?"

"It's late. What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I just-"

"Then why did you call me?"

"Auden needs me to go back home with her. Can I take Thisbe?"

"You called to ask  _that_? Eli, I'm with my boyfriend and-"

"Right, sorry. It's just, I didn't want to take her without your permission."

"Go where ever you want. I trust you guys."

"Okay. Thanks, Heidi."

"Well, now that you have me, let me talk to Thisbe."

He held the phone to the little girl's ear. She always got nervous on the phone. He was pretty sure that she didn't understand how a phone worked. Honestly, he didn't either, so he was glad that she had yet to ask. That could ruin his Mr. Know It All stance he had with the little girl. Of course, he'd just make up some sort of bull that sounded good.

"Auden, Mommy talk," Thisbe said, moving away from the phone and pointing to her older sister. Eli handed the phone over before going over to his counter. A key to Heidi's house sat there. He'd need to get Thisbe some extra clothes, incase they stayed longer than they planned.

"Yeah, I found out," Auden was saying as Eli entertained Thisbe with pretending to not be able to see the key. God, he was as annoying as Dora the Explorer. "You really want to know? You sure. Okay…A girl. Yeah, I know! No, he hasn't made a stupid joke yet. No."

Eli rolled his eyes as he finally picked up the keys. "Tell Heidi that we need to stop by her place to get Thisbe more clothes."

Auden relayed the message before going back to talking about the baby. About two hours later, Eli had moved Thisbe's car seat to Auden's car, they had picked up Maggie, Thisbe was sleeping in the back, and they all had drinks and snacks from Gas/Gro. Eli drove, claiming that guys could drive better. The girl would have fought him, but he could tell that they both were tired. Maggie, who was in the back with Thisbe, fell asleep almost instantly.

"You said," Auden stopped to yawn. "You said that you were having a bad day."

"I am."

"How come?"

"Aud…It's nothing."

"Is it that Bea chick?"

"Kind of."

Auden nodded a little, leaning her head against the window. "Someone should teach her a lesson or something."

He sighed, turning up the radio a little. "Yeah, someone."

So he left town, not wanting to stay in it right now. Maybe it was because of Thisbe and what was being said about him, but not really. If it had just been that, he'd have cracked some skulls and been done with it. It was everything falling on his back all at once. And now here he was, running. Not from what was being said, but running from that town where the only person that ever got him back then once lived.

He was running from Abe, taking the two new people that understood him now with him.

 


	5. Chapter 5

 

When I woke up, Eli was still sleeping next to me, an arm thrown across his eyes. His sleep had been fitful, waking me up multiple times. I lazily run a hand down his arm before looking around my room for Isby. She's gone. Groaning, I stood up and went to find her.

Maggie had already left for class, but apparently before going, she had set Thisbe up in the living room. She was laying on the couch, watching cartoons. I think she had fallen back asleep. Sighing, I went into the kitchen to find something to eat. I settled on one of Maggie's treats. For the baby. Then I got my stuff ready for a shower.

When I got out, Thisbe was still sleeping on the couch, so I left her alone. I went back into my bedroom to get my books.

"Eli?"

He grunted, clearly not wanting to get up yet. I remembered that he said that he was having a horrible day, so I decided to leave him alone. Giving him a little kiss, I then left the apartment, headed to school.

* * *

When I get home, Eli and Thisbe have made a mess of the place. He was rolling on the ground, a toy water gun in his hand.

"Eli! Don't you shoot that. God. How stupid-"

"It's empty, Auden." He didn't move. "Come out with your hands up, Thisbe, or I'll have to go in there."

She was hiding in a fort made of our couch cushions. "Uh-uh."

"Then suffer the consequences."

Eli belly crawled to the fort before jumping up and kicking the cushions so that they fell to the ground. Thisbe squealed as he gently as possible tackled her to the ground.

"Eli!"

He kissed her head, holding her to his chest. "I win."

She had the bigger gun, a Super Soaker, and hit him in the head with it. "No!"

"Ow, Thisbe."

I closed the door behind me. "Are you guys serious? I left you alone for one day and you made this big of a mess? What will Maggie-"

"You haven't won yet, Eli!"

Suddenly, Maggie jumped up from behind the couch, her gun trained on him. She had a nerf gun. Where do two adults get so many kids toys from?

"Hand over the girl or you get to suffer."

"Make me."

She began her assault of bullets. Well, foam balls. Eli screamed, letting go of Thisbe. She ran to me, hugging me leg.

"Auden play?"

"No," I said, frowning. "Guys, what are you doing? This place is a mess."

"We're playing," Eli said simply, standing. "You should try it some time."

I ran a hand down my stomach. "Don't make me mad, Eli."

He came over and kissed my head before picking up Thisbe. "We'll clean up later. We have all week."

"What?"

"Yeah. Heidi called. Since we're visiting you, she's going to stay longer. We have all week with you, Auden. Aren't you happy?"

Uh, no. I frowned. "Why? Can't you go back to Colby?"

Eli was apparently pretending like the town doesn't exist, because he just went over to the couch cushions and began to rebuild them.

Maggie straightened herself before going around, picking up the nerfballs. "How was class?"

"Fine," I said, still watching them. "I can't believe that you're stooping to that level."

"What level?"

"Playing with toy guns, Maggie."

"What? It's fun." She shot a nerfball at me, but I dodged it, shaking my head before walking off to my bedroom. A few minutes later, Eli followed.

"What's wrong with you? Fail a test?"

"Not unless you want my mother to punch me in the stomach to kill our baby."

"…I don't get it. Is that a riddle?"

I groan, laying down on the bed. "I just have a bad headache. The baby kicked in her sleep all night."

"The baby kicks?"

"Thisbe, idiot."

"Don't say bad words in front of her." Eli laid down next to me, resting a hand on my stomach. "You've got such a mouth. Be careful or else I'll have to punish you for each no-no."

"Do not take a word that we will use on our children and make it dirty."

"Who's being dirty? I was just going to put you in time out."

"Right, okay."

"And maybe a little spanking-"

"Eli, you're pushing it."

"Chill, Auden. I'm never going to punish the baby anyways. She's a girl. She can do whatever she wants."

"Because you're not a sexist at all," I commented dryly.

"Is it really sexism when you're doing something nice? I'm letting her get away with everything for the rest of her life."

I just sighed. There's a thud against our door and then, "Eli dere?"

"I'm in here."

"Eli in?"

"Huh?"

"She wants you to let her in," I said, pushing him slightly. "Go."

Grumbling softly, he got up to get her. "Come on, little one."

She cuddled against him as he closed the door again. "Eli."

"What, huh? I can't spend some time with Auden without you? Huh?"

"No."

"Figures." They laid down next to me, Thisbe immediately moving closer to me.

"Hi, Auden. Hi, baby."

Eli smiled, laying his head down. "Are you saying hello to the baby?"

Thisbe nodded. "Love baby."

He reached out and pulled her closer to him. "Yeah? Me too."

"Love Eli."

"I love myself more."

"No. Me love Eli more."

"No. I love me more."

"No."

"No."

"No."

"N-"

"Enough," I said, sitting up. "I came in here for peace and quiet."

"Aud, we're a family. There's no such thing as that anymore."

"Don't get yourself kicked out of the apartment, Eli."

"You can't kick me out. I'm the daddy now."

Thisbe nodded. "Eli daddy, Auden mommy. Auden do what Eli say."

I frowned. "That's not how you play house."

"That's how I used to play house," Eli said, which got another nod.

I rolled my eyes, standing up and walking out of the room. I was going to get something to eat from the kitchen when my cell rang.

"Hello?"

"Auden? Have you heard from Eli? Everyone's looking for him, but-"

"He's here with me."

"His trucks here," his mother told me.

"Maggie and I drove down last night. She had a birthday party or something to do. I went to tell Eli the sex of the baby."

"Well, he never…You know the gender of the baby?"

"Yeah. He didn't tell you?"

"No. He didn't even call to say that he was leaving."

I sighed a little, going to the pantry. "We're having a girl."

"…Really? How nice. But Eli…is he okay? When I talked to him last, he was very upset."

"Yeah. He just wanted to come back with me for a few days. We have Thisbe too."

"That's nice, but he has work."

"I figured he took care of it. Here, I'll go give him the phone."

"Thank you."

"Eli," I called, walking back into the bedroom. Thisbe and he both were stretched out, ready for more sleep. I mean, after spending an afternoon messing up my apartment, they must be worn out.

"What?"

"Your mom," I said, handing him the cell phone. He groaned, sitting up.

"Hello?" He shook his head a little. "Yeah, a girl. Yep. I know. Okay. No. She's fine. Yeah. Kind of fat."

I hit him, making him smile a little.

"No, Mom. It was a joke. Yes. Alright. I'll be back in time to be the stupid tiger. Adam, Jake, and Wallace take off all the time, now it's my turn. Yes. Okay. Bye."

"I am not fat."

"No, you're very sexy."

"Eli."

He handed over my phone. "How did you know I wasn't talking about Thisbe? You fat, Thisbe?"

She puffed out her stomach. "Yes."

"No you're not." Eli poked her tummy, making her giggle.

I smile a little before walking out of the room. Maggie was either gone or in her bedroom, so I decided that the playing was done for the day. I went to work on cleaning the apartment. After that was done, I finally did find some food before sitting down on the couch to watch TV.

"Auden?"

I turned to see Thisbe peaking out the door at me. "Hey, Isby. Wanna come sit down with me?"

"Pizza?"

"Yeah, I have some pizza."

"Me?"

I looked down at my last slice of leftovers from two days ago. "Come on."

She ran to me, holding out her hands. I ripped off the crust and gave her the actual pizza part because I knew she hated crust.

"Wha'?"

"Hmmm?"

She pointed to the television.

"It's the news, Thisbe."

"Me?"

"You?"

"Me TV?"

"You want to watch something that you like?"

She nodded.

"Fine." I put it on a cartoon before zoning out. I hate cartoons. I'm never letting my daughter watch TV. Ever. Which probably won't be that big of an issue since Eli doesn't own one…

"There you are. Don't just ditch me, Thisbe. It hurts my feelings." Eli came out of the bedroom and sat on the other side of my little sister. She reached over and patted Eli's arm.

"Be'er?"

"All better," he assured her. "How about with you, Aud? You all better?"

"I'm freaking perfect."

"That's a no-no word."

"What? How?"

"Everyone knows that, Auden. It's one of those words that you're using as a place holder for another word, the real F-word in this case. I wouldn't want to hear Thisbe or our baby say it, so you can't say it."

"I never had that rule growing up and I turned out fine."

"Says that baby growing in your stomach." Eli shook his head. "I see no ring on your finger, which means that is not okay."

"I can have a baby, Eli. I'm grown."

"Nope. It's in the bible. You're lucky I don't stone you."

"Since when are you biblical?"

"Since I'm gonna be a daddy."

"Well, I'm nonreligious so-"

"Then you're gonna have to suck it up."

"Eli-"

"If you're so nonreligious, why does it matter to you if I want the baby to learn about God?" He pulled Thisbe into his lap. "Seems like you're defensive. Fearful of rotting in Hell, Auden?"

"Okay, so you can say Hell, but I can say freaking?"

"I can say Hell when I refer to it as a place."

"You're going to confuse the baby."

"And? Life is confusing, Auden. I'm teaching the baby."

"Me!"

"And Thisbe, of course Thisbe." He hugged her a little. "Thisbe's such a quick learner, Auden. She's way smarter than you."

"Oh?"

"Yeah." Eli looked down at Thisbe. "Can you sing your ABC's for Auden, please?"

"Mmmm…no." She grabbed Eli's hand and popped one of his fingers.

"Thisbe! That hurt. You hurt me." He removed his hand from hers. "That's not nice. I don't want to play with you anymore."

"No. Eli, no." She started whining, but Eli just stared down at her.

"What do you say then?"

"Sowy. Me sowy. Eli 'give?"

"Of course I forgive you." He hugged her again. "All better."

Now that her problem with Eli was fixed, Thisbe jumped down. "Eli p'ay? P'ay with me?"

"Of course. What do you wanna play?"

She touched his knee before running off. So as they chased each other through my apartment, I laid down, flipping through channels, trying to find something remotely intelligent. As usual, there was nothing.

"What's wrong?" Eli asked when he saw me turn off the TV and lay down. "Your stomach alright?"

"Fine. I'm just bored."

"Come play with us."

I shook my head. "No, I'm good."

"Your loss." He said, going back to slowly chasing my sister. She would run away as fast as she could, not realizing Eli was just pretending to try to catch her.

"What are you guys doing for dinner?" Maggie asked a few minutes later as she walked out of her room.

"What are you doing?" Eli asked.

"I don't know. I was wondering if you and Auden were going to go out alone or-"

"Yes." I sat up suddenly, giving me a head ache. "We are. Alone. Without Thisbe."

My baby sister, who was now hiding in the bathroom from Eli, heard this and came back out.

"No. Me go. Eli!"

He picked her up. "Sorry, Thisbe. Auden's a spoil sport. You can't go."

"No!" She hit him in the head. "Me go!"

"You and I'll eat dinner together," Maggie said. "We can watch, um, some TV show and order pizza. How does that sound? Or I'll go out and get us burgers. That'll be fun."

"No." She wrapped her arms around Eli's neck. "Eli, no."

"Yes. It'll just be for a little while. And you get to spend time with Maggie! I'd rather spend time with her than Auden any day."

"You're pushing it," I said, getting up. "I'm going to go take a shower, Eli. Then we'll leave, okay? So be ready. And explain to Thisbe that she has to behave."

"She always behaves," Eli told me in earnest as I walked into my room to get clothes. When I got into the bathroom, I took shower quickly before getting ready. When I walked out of the bathroom, Eli was waiting on the couch.

"You ready?" He asked, standing. Thisbe, who was sitting on the couch with him started to whine.

"Eli-"

"I told you, we can play when I get back."

"Night-night."

"Well, yeah, it is night-night time, but we're staying here with Auden, so we'll get to be together. Okay? You and Maggie will have tons of fun. Right, Mag?"

She nodded from the kitchen, where she was washing dishes. "Yeah, of course. You don't want to hang out with Eli anyway. He's just a nasty boy."

She looked at the two of us before crossing her arms. She did let us leave though.

"I like your hair," Eli said, kissing me as we walked out of the apartment building. "You wash it?"

"Yeah."

"It smells nice." He kissed my head this time. "How's your stomach today?"

"Good."

"Good." He wrapped an arm around my shoulders. "Maybe the baby's finally settling into her home."

I made a face at that analogy. "I guess so, yeah."

"Temporary home, that is," he corrected. "She'll be here soon. With me. And you. Us."

"Yep. Us."

Dinner was nice. Eli took me out to a restaurant, where we kind of talked about the baby. Nothing heavy or might cause us to fight. Afterwards, he took me to get ice cream before back t the apartment.

"Where are Maggie and Thisbe?"

"I told her to take her out to dinner."

"Why?"

"Why do you think?"

I groaned as he pulled me into the bedroom. "Don't I, like, get a say in this?"

"Sure you do. Your vote just doesn't carry as much weight as mine."

"Of course not."

After that, we just stayed in bed for awhile. Eli made sure to hand me a shirt and underwear first, incase we didn't hear Thisbe come home. He pulled on sleep pants before crawling back into bed with me. I was on my back, while he chose to lay on his stomach, an arm stretched across my stomach.

"Wait till the baby gets here, Auden. She'll have the hottest dad on the face of the earth."

I turned my head to the side, sighing a little. "I didn't realize your brother Steve was the father."

'W-What?"

"Joking. It was a joke. You know, because I've been with Jake and-"

"That dies with the birth of our daughter. It will never be brought up again. Not by me, you, or Jake, got it?"

"Why?"

"You know why."

"Explain it to me, Eli."

He ran his hand down my stomach. I wonder at times if he's trying to comfort me or the baby.

"I don't want her thinking when she gets older that you're…you know. And I don't like thinking about you being with him. I just don't. He's a jerk. It was a one night stand. I wish that that didn't happen. But it did, so to deal with it, we're just going to act like it never happened. So get all of your jokes out now. It's not like you're that good at them anyways."

"I'm great at jokes, Eli."

"Really? I've never laughed once with you. Well, maybe at you, but-"

"Jerk."

"No, just honest." He kissed my head. "Besides, if this baby is going to be funny, we all know it's going to come from me. If she's smart and a loser, it's you."

"Did you just call your baby a loser?"

"Of course not." He leaned down to kiss my head. "If the baby is like you, then I won't call that being a loser anymore. I'll call that being intelligent and someone that wants to actually go somewhere with their life."

"But…?"

"But I really hope she's not. I want a kid that cuts up in class. You know, a real cool kid. Not a you kid, but a me kid.'

I just groaned. "Well, she's not going to misbehave in class, Eli, so dream on."

"I like how you just decided our daughter's fate."

"You did too."

"No, I gave her options. I said what I want her to be, but I'll respectfully allow her to be a loser if she wants. You, however, just want to push her into being a loser."

"It's called being smart."

"How smart can it be, Auden? You're still lying in bed with a one of the cool ones like me. Clearly you want to convert."

"No thanks."

"Nope, I've already decided." He turned his head and kissed mine. "I'm going to make you cool, Auden."

"Oh goodie."

"Get ready."

"It starts now?"

"Nope. Tomorrow. It'll be kind of like when I brought your childhood back to you."

"Our first adventure."

"Yep. This one will be better though."

"Why?"

"We get to get rid of all your ugly clothes and buy new ones."

"Eli."

"Fine, you can keep them, but we're still going to get you new clothes."

"We don't have the money."

"Aud, we live in Colby. Well, I do. That thrift store is where I get all my stuff from."

"Oh, cool kids shop at thrift stores?"

"Not in those stupid rich places, but we did. You just gotta know what you're looking for."

"And you know what to look for?"

"Of course. I was the epitome of cool in high school."

"I'm going to be someone's mom though. I can't be cool after this."

"Ah, but you can, Auden. I'm going to be a dad, but I'm going to be freaking awesome."

"And cocky."

"Can't make a baby with a cock-"

"Eli."

"-y person. Come on, Auden. I wasn't going to say that word in the presence of my baby." He patted my stomach.

"Oh, but having sex wasn't in front of the baby?"

"No. Could the baby see? I think not. It can however hear."

"And you figure this how?"

"I just do, okay? I'm the man, Auden. I have you and this baby to look after. Not to mention Thisbe and Heidi. I can't have you questioning my authority."

"You're pushing it, Eli," I warned. "And how exactly his Heidi your problem?"

"She wouldn't be if she were more open about who she was dating. I mean, come on, do any of us know this guy that just whisked her away for the weekend?"

"I didn't even know that she was dating, honestly."

"Neither did I."

"I just find it shady."

"Maybe she hid it for a reason."

"But why?"

I shrugged. "Maybe…it's not a guy."

"You think she's lying?"

"No. I mean, maybe she didn't want everyone to know that she's a lesbian or something."

"…Why is that the first thing that came to your mind?"

"It's either that or the guy is a complete jerk or something. I'd rather not have to deal with Heidi dating a jerk, thanks."

"I'd rather her not be with anyone. I mean, I already have to watch Thisbe twenty-four seven. With dealing with you being away at college when we have our baby, I don't know how I'm going to balance my time. And this better not be some young guy."

"Why? Heidi's not that old."

"I know. That's the problem. She's going to have some young wannabe cool around Thisbe."

"And you've already filled that position."

"Exactly."

I giggled a little, betraying myself. Eli heard it and smiled slightly.

"Hey, Aud?"

"What?" I asked, forcing my smile to go away.

"It's okay to be happy and all, but cool kids don't giggle."

"They don't?"

"Nope. Not the ones I hangout with at least. It's a non-option."

"Losers can't giggle either."

"Yeah, they can't."

"So I guess I'm not a loser."

"Nope. You're just a nerd."

"Mmmm."

"Which is worse. At least losers can sell the cool kids pot and stuff. You just sit around, learning algabr…ic-"

"Algebraic, Eli."

"-equations and stuff. Bleh. Who wants to do that?"

"So you want our daughter to smoke pot?"

"Is that what you got from that conversation?"

"Yes."

"Nothing's wrong with pot, Auden."

"Says the losers going nowhere in life."

"And the cool kids."

"And the cool kids," I agreed, making him hide his smile in his pillow. "That better not be a giggle, Mr. Cool."

"Of course not."

"Good."

He pushed my shirt up a little so that his hand was resting on my skin. "It's still a little unbelievable."

"What is?"

"That there's a baby in there. Our baby," he sighed a little. "Like, that's part of me, you know? And you. Mixed up together. To make a kid."

"After that wonderful rendition of how people make a baby, I'm completely certain that pot doesn't screw with people's minds."

"I'm being serious, Auden. That little…baby is ours. I mean, some days, I honestly get that. And I accept that. But others…I mean, God, I never wanted to have a baby this young. And this broke. How are we going to do this, Auden? She's going to need diapers and clothes and a crib and toys.

"And what about you? You're all the way here and I'm in Colby, Aud. Colby. Ignoring the fact that the baby won't know me as well as you, this won't work. You can't study, raise a baby, and work. And it's not fair to Maggie to assume that she's going to help out. This is our mis…not mistake, but our…whatever. This is our baby. No one else's. We made it. Now we have to take care of it."

"What are you saying?"

"I want…When…Can…"

"What, Eli?"

"…I think the baby should live with me, not you. It's only-"

"What? No."

"Auden, she's my baby too. And it would be better if-"

"No. God no. No."

"Auden, she's mine too. Ours. That means that I get a say in-"

I pushed his arm off. "She's living with me."

"No, she's not. You're going to school and-"

"And what? I'm supposed to see her on the weekends?"

"Isn't that what you thought I would do? How's it any different?"

"It's different because you're just being an ass, not moving closer. I'm in school-"

"By choice. You are choosing college over me and our baby. Live with your choices, Auden."

"No, you're choosing Colby over me and our daughter. She's in my stomach, Eli. She's living with me."

"That's bullshit. You know as well as I do that I can take better care of her. I have my mom there, I have my dad, I have J…Adam, I have Wallace, and of course I've got Heidi. Not to mention Leah and Clyde. This is my baby too, Auden. I'm taking her home with me after she's born. End of story."

"You're such an id-"

"We're back," Maggie called out, closing the front door.

"Eli!"

The fight was ended as Thisbe banged on our bedroom door. Maggie opened it for her and she ran to get in bed with us.

"Hey, Thisbe," Eli said, sitting up and picking her up. Maggie smiled before closing the door, leaving us alone. "What did you eat?"

"Food."

"You're so funny."

She just giggled, huddling against him. I got up and pulled on one of Eli's other pairs of sleep pants before walking out of the room. Maggie was nowhere to be found and all the lights were off. Heading over to the couch, I laid down, planning on doing some thinking, but that quickly turned into sleeping.

It was probably two hours later that Eli came to get me. I didn't open my eyes, but I knew it was him by the feel of his hand on my face. I just laid there, refusing to get up.

"Come on, Aud," he whispered, getting down on his knees in front of the couch so that he could be right next to my ear. "I want you to come lay down with me."

I moaned, rolling over, giving him my back. Eli kissed the back of my head before leaving. He turned on the light in my bedroom and from it, I could see him gathering up Thisbe when I peaked open my eyes. He took a blanket and a pillow too before coming back into the living room.

"Eli?"

"Shhh." He sat her down next to me before going to the chair. "You sleep with Auden."

"Eli."

"No. Go back to sleep."

"E-"

"Now."

I rolled over so that I was facing her before wrapping my arms around the little girl. She giggled, cuddling under the blanket that Eli must have laid across me at some point. I glanced over at Eli, who was trying to get settled on possibly the most uncomfortable chair in the world. He made no complaints though and I closed my eyes again, though it made no difference what with how dark it was now that Eli turned out the bedroom light.

"Camp?"

"Yeah, we're camping out," I whispered to Thisbe as she settled down to go to sleep.

I closed my eyes, trying to get her to do the same thing. Once she finally fell back asleep, I got up slowly, careful not to wake the toddler. Eli watched as I came over to him and lifted his blanket. I put my finger to my lips, which he mimicked, making me smile. Sitting down in his lap, I pulled my legs up, curling into a ball against him. Eli adjusted the blanket before wrapping his arms around me, giving me a kiss on the head.

And until we inevitably had that fight again, everything was fixed. Everything was fine.

 


	6. Chapter 6

 

I had to drive Eli and Thisbe back to Colby Friday after I finished class. Maggie declined an offer to come along, claiming that she had a date. After almost making me miss finding out the sex of my baby because she was so broken up about that guy last week, she had a date. Yeah. Whatever.

"-round an' round, round an' round. The wheels on the bus go round an' round, round an' round all-"

"Thisbe, be quiet. We're not in a bus. We're in my car. Just be quiet."

"Auden!" Eli frowned at me. "She's expressing herself. You can keep singing, Thisbe."

"Auden mean."

"She really is," Eli agreed. "It's because she's pregnant though."

"Oh."

"Yeah. Pregnant women are very grumpy."

Thisbe giggled. "No sing, Auden."

"Thank you," I said, frowning at Eli. "I am not grumpy, Eli."

He just smiled at me. "Anyways, anything you want to do this weekend?"

"No doubt Heidi will want to spend time with Thisbe since she's been gone for so long, so I think we're on our own."

"Yeah, probably. I work, but afterwards, it'll just be me and you. And the baby."

"Great."

Reaching over, he patted me on the head. "I know, ain't it? We need to discuss names."

"Isn't it kind of early-"

"How? We know we're having a girl. And you're the one that doesn't want to call the baby an it."

"I can call her a she."

"I want a name, Auden. And not a stupid name, like Auden."

"My name-"

"We need something cool. Like my name."

"Cool."

"Right. I told you before, I don't want a loser for a kid."

I sighed, leaning my head against the car window. "You know, I think that I should have been able to drive. It is my car after all."

"Auden, if we're going to be a family, you're going to have to get it through your head that this is not a democracy. It's a dictatorship. I'm the head of the family. You sit there and shut up, unless I speak to you."

"…Is this supposed to be some kind of joke?"

"You better shut up before I pop you one."

"Eli."

He just shook his head gravely. "Thisbe, I don't think Auden understands how a family works."

"Daddy works. Mommy works. Daddy leaves. Mommy stays."

"What? No."

Thisbe nodded. "Yes."

"No, Thisbe." I turned around to look at her. "Daddy's don't always leave. Eli's gonna be there. And Dad was there when I was a kid."

"Me?"

"Things are…complicated for you," Eli said, now turning his attention away from his joke and onto the issue at hand. "My mom and dad stayed together. You know why?"

"Love?"

"Yep. They love each other. Just like I love Auden."

"Mommy?"

"She doesn't like Daddy anymore, that's all," I told her. "It's okay though. You have me and Hollis. Okay?"

"Not to mention me, Thisbe. I'm the best babysitter ever, huh?"

She giggled. "Sis'er?"

"Huh?" I turned to him. "She's met your sister?"

"Well, yeah, but that's not what she's talking about."

"Then what?"

He sighed a little. "I kind of told her that she would be my little sister soon."

"How?"

"Because we'll get married eventually."

"Eli-"

"Eli big bubba," Thisbe interrupted. He nodded.

"Yep."

"No," I said, frowning. "Hollis is your brother. El's my boyfriend. And the baby's father. That's all."

Thisbe spit at me. "Eli big bubba!"

"Yeah, Auden. Don't mess with us. We've bonded."

Thisbe agreed from her seat in the back. "Love Eli."

"And I love you," he said, glancing at her in the review mirror. "No more spitting though. Okay? Spits nasty. More nasty than Auden."

She giggled while I just groaned.

When we got back to town, Eli drove to the bike shop before giving me the keys. I agreed to pick him up when his shift was over before taking Thisbe home, where Heidi was waiting.

"Have you missed your mommy?" I asked as we drove down the road.

"Yes!"

"But you've liked staying with me and Maggie, right?"

"Yes! 'n' Eli!"

"Of course, Eli," I said dryly. "Why do you like him so much?"

She giggled. "Love Eli."

"Why?"

"Eli play, Eli sing, Eli nap, Eli-"

"So basically Eli's just like you."

"Yes!"

I had an inkling that Thisbe just really needed a playmate her own age, but I decided not to say anything for the time being. Besides, after we have our own baby, Eli will be so caught up in that that he won't have as much time to spend with Thisbe. Plus, she'd be starting school before long. Then their little friendship could die off, like I had been waiting for it to do forever.

"Mommy!"

"Thisbe!"

Shoot me.

I sighed, setting my little sister's bag down. Heidi lifted Thisbe into her arms before coming to hug me. I gave her a small pat on the back. I might like Heidi these days, but in no way is hugging ever okay between the two of us.

"A girl huh? This will be so much fun!"

"As opposed to what it would have been otherwise?"

"You know what I mean, Auden." She kissed Thisbe, finally releasing me from her hold. I rubbed my arm awkwardly. "Anyways, where's the man of the hour?"

"Eli? Work."

"Karen called me and said that he took off without telling anyone. Was everything alright?"

"I don't know. There was some sort of weird birthday party thing that Maggie had to get back for and when I got here to tell him he said-"

"What did you just say?"

"I was going to tell him about the baby-"

"No, before that."

"Oh." I shrugged. "Maggie said that she needed to come back to Colby for some sort of weird party thing. I couldn't go. I guess it was for some-"

"Oh no, what have I done?" Heidi sat Thisbe down, her normal emotional side taking over. "I completely forgot. Oh, Auden, I'm such a horrible person."

"Forgot what?" I asked, frowning. Was it something I should have known too? What was she talking about? "What happened that day?"

"Go see Abe." Thisbe patted her head, where Eli's cap sat. "Shhh, Thisbe. Be qu'et. No talkin'! Flowers, me girl. Eli sad. Sorry, Eli."

I looked back up at Heidi. "I don't get it."

"I have no idea what she's talking about, but it was that boy's birthday. The one that died. Abe. Oh, geez. He must hate me. I didn't even think about that." She went to go sit down on the couch. "I really wouldn't have asked him to watch Thisbe if I had remembered. I'm the worst person alive, Auden. Scum. I-"

"Eli didn't seem to mind much. Besides, he likes taking care of Thisbe."

"Still. I should have known that. Everyone knows that.'

"So…they have a party?"

She just groaned. "Abe's mother does. You didn't go to that, did you, Thisbe?"

She shook her head. "Mrs. Ka-wen house."

"Oh God. Karen probably hates me now too." Heidi looked at me once more. "She thinks that I rely on Eli too much. He's the one that always offers though. And when I tell him no, that I'm keeping Thisbe for the day, he gets real depressed. Like that week when I took her to see your father? He just kept leaving messages on my phone, reminding me of certain things about her. Like her bedtime and that if she doesn't take a nap, she'll whine all the next day. I'm her mother, Auden."

"I know. He just...He just really likes taking care of her."

"Well you know what they're saying, Bea and the others."

I stiffened; having thought that we were all passed this. "Heidi, he's-"

"I'm just saying."

I crossed my arms a little before uncrossing them, thinking that came off as defensive. "Well, when we have our baby, things will be different. Thisbe will start school and he'll have someone new to take care of. Won't you like that, Thisbe? You'll have friends your own age to play with."

She looked up from knocking things off the coffee table. Staring at me as if that was the dumbest thing in the world to think, she said, "No! Thisbe play Eli. Eli best friend. Love Eli!"

Heidi just sighed more. "See? Every time I try to get her to do something else, she yells about Eli. Watch. Thisbe, wanna go to the park?"

"Eli park?"

"He's at work."

"Go wo'k wid Eli. Love Eli." She finally finished with pushing the magazines off the table. "Eli Auden gets baby, Mommy."

"I'm aware."

"Baby. Wa-wa. Baby cry. No me. Big girl. No wa-wa."

"Thank you."

She nodded before running off, to her bedroom I think. Heidi sighed.

"Have you talked to your father recently?"

I shook my head. "No."

"He said that he was going to be in town, but then he backed out at the last minute. That's the only reason I went on that trip, honestly. I mean, if he's not even going to have the decency to show up to see Thisbe when he says he is, I'm not going to wait around for him to find the time." She shook her head. "You know the weird thing though? He had a book signing in Lakeview. So I know that he was close. I can't figure out where he went."

Oh God. Mom… She has to freaking interfere with everything. I guaranty that was where he was. It made me sick for some reason, thinking of them back together after so long. Him being back in the house after this many years…it gave me a headache. And I don't even know what they're doing. My mother was never one to play games, but she seemed to be the one creating the rules in this one.

"I don't know," I said, feeling like a liar. "I haven't talked to him in awhile."

She smiled at me for a second. "I'm sure that he would love to hear from you, Auden. I'm sure that he's very happy about the baby. Have we decided on any names yet?"

"Eli wants to talk about it ton-"

"Eli?" Thisbe came back, having a few stuffed animals as they apparently had to welcome her back home. "Eli no wo'k?"

"Yes, he is. You'll see him tomorrow."

"No! See Eli now." She looked at Heidi. "Mommy wo'k?"

She just sighed, shaking her head a little. "I've created a monster, haven't I, Auden?"

No, we all had. But if she was offering to take the blame…

"Yeah," I said, heading to the door to go back to Eli's. "I guess you have."

* * *

I never made it back to Eli's. I was headed there when I saw Karen walking home, carrying bags of groceries. Groaning, I pulled over to give her a lift.

"Thanks," she said, climbing in after rejecting my offer initially. "My car broke down and my husband had work today."

I just nodded, turning the radio down. "It's fine, really."

"I didn't realize you were back in town. Eli came back too?"

"Yep," I said, nodding my head. Duh. "Heidi came home today. We had to get Thisbe back home."

"Oh." She looked around my car for some reason, as if expecting something horrible to be there. "Where is Eli?"

"Abe's."

"What?"

"The bike shop," I said, flushing. "Abe's Bikes."

She made a noise of knowing; now turning forward. Honestly, that misunderstanding wasn't my fault. It was freaking Adam's. What else did they expect me to call it? There were too many unspoken rules to be apart of this extended family.

It was quiet for a minute, which seemed off. I mean, Colby wasn't that big. It felt like it was taking forever to get her home. Maybe I had turned down the wrong street. I looked to Karen, but she didn't seem to find fault in my path, so I ventured on, glancing around at the houses, trying to find one that I recognized.

"So you said that the baby was a girl?"

I nodded a little. "Yes."

"Mmmm. It'll be a nice change around here, from dealing with Jake all the time."

I glanced at her, trying to judge what type of secret comment she was trying to make. It was either about the baby living in Colby, with Eli or if she was hinting at the fact she knew I had hooked up with her youngest son. "I guess so."

"I've never had a grandchild that lives so close, you know," she confided in me. "My other kids all leave town. Not Jake though."

Still, I wasn't sure which hidden commentary there was in her sentence. "Eli does too. He…loves it here."

"Not recently."

I sighed a little bit, still trying to figure out if I had missed her house or what. "I've heard. What they're saying, I mean. About Eli. It's sick."

She shifted in her seat. "I just don't understand why he doesn't defend himself."

I shrugged as best I could as I turned a corner. Where the heck was her house? "I think that he doesn't feel he should have to. I mean, he hasn't done anything. It's not his fault."

"Still."

"He's going through a lot-"

"Don't tell me what my son is going through, Auden. You've been gone and just got back. You don't know anything."

Okay. So apparently I wasn't back in with Karen yet. I'm sure I had been at the beginning of my relationship with Eli, the summer I first met him. Then we started our break up and get back together stuff, which I'm sure annoyed her. Not to mention I'm pregnant, which screws up his life. I can't really blame her for disliking me. I mean, I don't agree with it, but I can't find blame in it.

Finally, as if that God Eli's so intent on getting me to believe in had taken mercy on me or at least was done playing with me, I saw the Stock house. Thank you. I pulled up to the driveway and, without even thinking about it, got out to help her take the bags inside.

"You don't have to do that," she told me, rushing to open the front door. "Really."

"It's fine. I'm just going back to Eli's apartment anyways."

"To do what?"

"Nothing, really," I said, following her into the house. Jake, who was sleeping on the couch, stirred a little, but didn't wake up. Karen shook her head, sighing a little as she headed to the kitchen.

"I'll help you put things away."

"Auden, honestly-"

"It's fine," I said, starting to pull things out of the bags. Really, the only thing I would have to do back at Eli's was sleep. I really didn't feel like doing that yet. Even if it meant being in a house with a woman that possibly hates me.

"Jake! You're here."

We both looked up at the sound of Mr. Stock coming into the house. Jake just groaned.

"Sleeping. Late night. Shhh."

His father ignored him and walked into the kitchen. "Karen, he- Auden! What a surprise."

"Hi."

He went over to Karen, giving her a kiss. She pulled away quickly. Apparently unaware, he just started looking at the bags on the counter. "You went to the store?"

"Yes. I told you I was, yet you still took your car. You could have gotten a ride."

"You walked? I told Jake to pick up your car."

"Well, he didn't."

"All's well that ends well."

She blinked and then glanced at me. "You can go now, Auden. He can put up the rest of the stuff. Thank you, though."

I smiled at them before making my exit. I heard Eli's father questioning his wife on what he did to anger her, but she just shushed him, claiming that he knew what he did, although he clearly didn't. Really, I wasn't really sure either.

When I got to the apartment, I pulled out Eli's laptop, as I had left mine in my car, along with my other stuff. It was fine though, because I didn't need anything, but the internet. Eli only got the laptop for when he started college again. Then he dropped out, leaving it to only be used when I was around. It must get lonely when I'm away at college.

And, okay, maybe I happened to look up a few baby names sites. Maybe. The thing was though, that no name appealed to me. I wanted something different. Not necessarily as different as my name was, but something close.

I guess I was more tired than I thought, because I fell asleep. When I woke up, it was dark out. Opening my eyes a little, I saw my boyfriend standing at the stove, cooking something.

"Eli?"

"You up?"

"Yeah."

"I had to fucking walk home, Auden. If I say pick me up, pick me up."

I noticed that the laptop was gone, meaning he had been nice enough to put it up for me. I guess he wasn't all that mad.

"What are you making?"

"Hotdogs. Hungry?"

My stomach grumbled, but not in a good way. "I don't feel so hot, Eli."

"Is my little baby causing problems for her mommy?" Eli still didn't turn to face me. "Maybe it's because she's upset by your name choices."

"Hmmm?"

"I saw the sites you were on. No, Auden. We are not picking some weird, analytical name. We're going with some normal, plain old name."

"Eli, I don't want my baby to just have a name that other people in the class has."

"Aud, it's Colby. Colby. If we name our daughter something, no one else will name theirs that."

"No, Eli. She's going to have a unique name."

"Like what?" He grabbed a thing of hotdog buns and opened it. "'cause I kind of like a boy name for a girl."

"Really now?"

"Yeah, I hear all the hot girls have them."

"Eli."

"I'm no idiot, Auden. I know that you're named after a dude. It's okay. I don't think you're a complete freak."

I rolled my eyes. "Hey, I saw your mom today."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Say anything worth while?"

I thought about telling him about her resentment towards me and possibly our child, but I decided against it. I didn't want to be one of those people that start drama for no reason. If I'm going to fit into this family, I'm going to have to do so peacefully. The Stocks are good people. That's what my baby'll need, good grandparents.

"No."

"Hn." He sat down next to me with his hotdogs. "You think anymore about, you know, the other thing? The living thing?"

"Eli-"

"It was just a question. I'll take that as a no and move on." He glanced at me. "Sure you're not hungry? Huh, baby?"

I frowned at the tone he was using. "Uh, Eli-"

"Not you." He patted my stomach. "Her. My baby. I like the name…Nick."

"No."

"Auden-"

"No."

He downed another hotdog before speaking. "What about Torker?"

"What?"

"Torker. I can call her Tork."

"What is that, Eli?"

"A bike company."

I groaned, shifting a little. "Eli, don't annoy me."

"Stop saying my name."

Giggling a little, I closed my eyes. "Oops. Does that make me uncool?"

"Ah, Aud, you'll never be cool. Who was I kidding?"

I settled down for a nap and Eli eventually laid down next to me, though his body was further down the bed than mine, so that he could lay his head on my stomach.

"Goodnight, baby," he mumbled, kissing my clothes, even though I knew that he wouldn't be able to fall asleep so early. I reached down and stroked his head gently.

So we laid there for awhile, Eli humming a little, rubbing my stomach. I didn't know the song that he was humming, but it annoyed me. Not wanting to ruin the moment though, I let him continue, if only because I knew there was nothing else for him to do.

"You still with us, Aud?"

"Us?"

"Me and my little baby."

"Mmm, yeah."

"What did you and my mom talk about? Where did you even see her?"

"She was walking home from the store. I stopped and helped."

"Walk?"

"Her car was in the shop."

"She knew that my truck was over here, not being used. Someone could have gotten it for her."

"She actually was supposed to have her car back, but your brother didn't pick it up from the shop."

"What?"

"I guess he was supposed to walk down there and drive back with her car, but he didn't."

"And why not?"

"I got kicked out before I found out."

"Kicked out?"

"Your mom was mad at your father and told me I didn't have to help put the groceries away. I left."

"My mom has a mean streak sometimes."

"Sometimes?"

He smiled a little against my shirt. "Be careful, Aud. That's your baby's grandma."

"Mmm, you know, I don't see my own mother responding fondly to that term."

"Quite honestly, Aud, I want the baby to spend as little time as possible around your mother. She'll turn her bad."

"Eli."

"What? She will. Plus," he looked around, as if trying to find a spy, "I'm deathly afraid of the woman. No wonder I'm the only guy in your life."

"My mother actually loves men. Well, I mean she hates other women. I guess that would mean that she loves men."

"She loves something."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Just another joke about your parent's banging."

"Eli."

"What? They are. It's sick. How could you get a divorce if you still-"

"I don't want to talk about it, Eli. Shut up."

"Most people would be happy that their parents are getting back together."

"Yeah? Well, I'm not most people."

"You're telling me. You're the mother of only the best baby in the world." Eli patted my stomach gently. "Huh, Audrey? Are you happy?"

"What did you just call me?"

"Not you, stupid. My baby. Audrey. It's a name."

"No. You can't name her that."

"And why not?" Eli finally looked up from my stomach. "It's like she's named after you."

"Only white trash does that."

"Auden, honestly. Do you know how many people you just offended?"

"It's only me and you in here, Eli."

"Still. I don't want little Aidan to pick up bad habits from you."

"Number one, that's way too masculine a name. Number two, no. No A names."

"Yes, A names. I love A names."

"What about an E name, Eli?"

"Hn. Hadn't thought of that. What about Elizabeth? Then she could be little El and I could be big El! So much fun."

"…You had better not let any of your cool friends hear this talk."

"This is just between me, you, and Emery."

"No."

* * *

Eli didn't sleep. I did. I knew that he didn't only because his moving around and noises woke me up many times. Eventually I told him that he was bothering me and he settled to just texting on his phone. It was Adam I think, who was in Jackson at the moment, looking for an apartment.

Around seven in the morning, Eli left to go work as a tiger and I was left alone. The only problem was that sleep was now too hard to find. Getting up, I took a shower before going over to Heidi's. They were usually early risers, as Heidi had to get to work.

"Hi, Auden," Heidi said, answering the door before going back over to the couch, where she sat down. "Thisbe! Auden's here."

My little sister came out of the kitchen, covered in white powder. "Auden!"

"Thisbe, I told you not to make a mess of those donuts."

"Pow'er donuts, Auden." Thisbe held the pack out to me. "Makedes you looks'a like ghost! Boo!"

"That's right, it is almost time for Halloween," Heidi agreed with her, sighing a little.

"Come on, Thisbe, let's go make you human again," I said, picking her up and taking her to the bathroom to get her ready for the day.

"Eli?"

"He's the tiger today. We can go bring him lunch though, later. You think he'd like that?"

"Yeah!" She giggled as I ran a wet washcloth down her face. "Auden?"

"What?"

"Love you."

I smiled, kissing her head. "I love you too."

She giggled again, setting down her thing of donuts and holding out her arms so that I could wash them off too. "Love Mommy."

I ate one of her donuts, setting her off in another round of giggles. It made me grin, thinking about what my own daughter's laugh would sound like. "I love her too."

"'n' Hollie!"

I pulled off her night shirt, walking out of the bathroom to get her one to wear today. "I love Hollis too."

"'n' Eli!"

Heading into her room, I said, "I love Eli too."

She trailed behind me. "'n' 'ake!"

I let her pick out her own shirt. "You're on your own with that one, Isby."

* * *

"Eli!"

He was currently sitting on the curb in front of his job. "Hey, Thisbe. What are you guys doing here?"

"What? I can't buy a phone?"

"Auden."

I smiled, sitting down next to him, making sure to drop the bag of fast food in his lap as I did so. "We brought you lunch."

Thisbe looked at his tiger head, which was sitting on the sidewalk behind us, with interest. "Eli tiger?"

"Uh-huh." He opened the bag and started to distribute our food. "How'd you know that I wouldn't have already ate?"

"Eaten, Eli. And Jake told me that you've been skipping meals, to save money for the baby."

He seemed shocked. "You talk to my brother?"

"When necessary."

"I'd like for that to stop."

"Scared of my past lover?"

"Auden."

I just smiled at him, taking my burger. "You know, you're only succeeding in making me fat."

"Enjoy it, because as soon as little Ava is out, it'll be your turn to starve back down to size."

"No, Eli. To both things."

Thisbe reached out and touched Eli's leg, mesmerized by the fact he was still wearing the suit. "Eli tiger and Eli?"

"Huh?"

"She's confused about how you're a tiger, but you have your head."

He set his food on the ground before pulling her into his lap. "Eat, Thisbe. I don't have a long lunch break."

She smiled when he fed her a French fry. Eli patted her belly, bouncing his leg a little bit.

"Where do tigers live, Thisbe?"

"Jungie."

"Yep," he said, smiling as he ripped his burger in half and shared it with her, completely ignoring the fact that she had her own food.

We were about finished eating, when a car pulled into the nearly empty strip mall. I knew that car.

"Hollie!" Thisbe jumped out of Eli's lap and ran over to our brother as he got out of the car. "Hi!"

Hollis picked her up, smiling. "Hey, Thisbe."

Eli, who was never a big fan of my brother, rolled his eyes, standing up to throw our trash away. The trash can was a couple of stores down and I could tell he was taking his time, walking to it.

"What are you doing here, Hollis?" I asked, standing up as he walked toward me. Thisbe, who was still in his arms, turned her head, watching Eli walk away.

"Eli," she called after him, but he just ignored her for, probably, the first time ever.

"I went by Heidi's store and she said you were here. I came all this way to see my sisters, I go where they go. So, what's on the agenda today?"

"Nothing after this. I actually need to go home and study for a-"

"Auden," he said with a finger wag, "I came all this way to have the best day of our lives. No studying. Got it?"

I rolled my eyes as he made a funny face to get our half-sister to giggle. She did of course, but it was actually because Eli was back. No need to tell that to Hollis though.

"Down," she whined, wiggling now. She wanted Eli, who was now putting his tiger head back down. "Hollie."

He bounced her a little, not even listening. "So, what do you want to do, Auden?"

"There's not a lot to do in Colby," I said, my eyes on Eli. "Why? Did you have something in mind?"

"No."

"We could take Thisbe to the park. She'd like that," I said as she began to pout in his arms, staring longingly at the tiger that was once Eli.

"Then it's settled," he said. "I'll leave my car here, you drive. Alright?"

I nodded, going over to Eli to tell him goodbye as Hollis took our sister back to my car. She was full out crying now, but he just put her in her car seat, not used to a toddler.

"You have to calm her down, Hollis." Eli pulled his head back off and pushed passed me. "Don't just ignore her. What's wrong, Thisbe? Are you okay?"

Hollis stepped out of the way, sending me a questioning look, but I just shook my head. Eli calmed her down quickly, as it was only his attention she wanted all along.

"Eli park?"

"Nah. I have to work." He patted her on the head.

"For baby?"

"Yep, for the little baby."

"No."

"Yes. Goodbye, Thisbe."

She patted his face before looking at Hollis. "Go!"

He shook his head, going around to get in the passenger side. Eli went back to me and gave me a kiss before putting his tiger head back on, ready to go promote cell phones, for his baby. His little baby.

* * *

"So…You and Eli are cool?"

I nodded, not looking at my brother. "Yep."

"Not getting married?"

"Nope."

"That's cool."

"Yeah."

"And the baby is…?"

"Fine, Hollis." I had never seen my brother nervous, but for some reason, now he was. It was weird. "It's a girl, in case no one's told you."

"It is, huh? That's cool." He glanced over at Thisbe. We were sitting on the bench, watching as she ran around the playground. There was some slightly older kid, a boy, who she was playing with.

"Eli's happy."

"Is he now?"

"What?"

"It was just a question."

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever. You, Mom, and Dad are all the same."

"How?"

"You guys just don't like me with him because he actually has to work for something. You're pathetic."

He frowned. "When have I ever said that? Huh? Never."

"Then why don't you like Eli?"

"It's not that I don't like Eli, Auden. I just don't like his attitude. Or how you act when you're with him."

"What do you mean?" I asked, guarded.

"Eli's a jerk to me. He always has been. He's always waiting for me or Dad or Mom to comment on him, so he's always an ass, just in case."

I didn't feel like arguing. "What about the other thing?"

"I never pegged you as a person that just let a guy degrade you."

I snorted, rolling my eyes. This, I would argue on. "He does not degrade me."

"Every freaking day. He always has to make some sort of snarky comment about being with you."

"Jokes, Hollis."

"Right, sure."

"They are. Just jokes, I mean."

He shook his head. "I just don't like it."

"Yeah, well, we hardly see each other anyways."

"And whose fault is that?"

I frowned at him. "What? You think it's mine?"

"Uh, yeah."

I had never had such a serious conversation with my older brother. Mainly because I normally just let him control how our talks went. Now though, I was defending Eli, not because I loved him, but because he was my child's father. Love is fleeting, but paternity is forever.

"Hollis, I'm in the same place, all the time. School or Colby with Eli. You're the one that's taken off with Laura-"

"Laura and I broke up."

I paused. "What?"

"Last Spring, actually."

"Really?" I tried to think of the last time I had spoken to my brother or at least the last mention I had heard for Laura. The only thing I could come up with was when my mother said I was throwing my life away on Eli, just like Hollis was doing on…that girl. That's what she said. I had assumed that meant Laura, but…

"You'd know that if you answered my calls."

"It's not like I'm ignoring them on purpose. Between the baby and school and work-"

"Before the baby, Auden."

"I still had school and work. Not to mention, Eli and I were really rocky back in the Spring-"

"Oh, I'm sorry. Is that different than now?"

I stood up. "Thisbe! Come on. It's time to go."

"Auden-"

"Shut up," I shushed Hollis, watching as Thisbe quickly bid goodbye to playmate. I was confused by her eagerness before I realized she thought this meant I would take her to Eli. Ugh. I don't have the strength to deal with this.

"Eli now?" She asked as we headed to the car, Hollis trailing behind us.

"Eli's being a tiger, Thisbe."

She huffed, but allowed me to put her in the car without much fuss. Hollis silently got into the passenger side, though he did let out a very audible sigh. I ignored it for the most part, now mad at him and not caring for his feelings. He was the one being the jerk. Not me. If he wanted me, he never had anything going on. He could come find me. Right?

 


	7. Chapter 7

 

"Up, Jake."

He wiggled his butt on the couch. "What? No. First come, first serve."

"Up," his older brother repeated. "Now."

"N-"

"Auden's pregnant. We get couch."

"I'm not denying her any of it."

"Now."

Grumbling, Jake pushing off the couch, landing on the floor. "Fine. There."

I smiled a little as Eli let go of my hand and let me sit down on his parent's couch. He left for a second before returning with three cokes for us.

"Here, bro."

"This one's hot."

"There were only two cold ones," he said as he handed me mine. Wrapping an arm around my shoulders as he sat down, he gave me a kiss on the head. "You okay?"

"Yeah. Thanks."

"You're here finally?" Eli's father came into the room, laughing when he saw his youngest on the ground. "They won't let you sit up there with them, Jake?"

"No," he complained, making a face at us. "And he gave me a hot soda. Just because Auden's pregnant. Bah!"

Mr. Stock laughed as he sat down. Eli ran a hand down my stomach, taking a sip of his drink. Karen came out of the kitchen after a minute.

"So what is this movie again?" She asked, going to grab it from off the coffee table. "Hmmm. Eli, this is rated R. There's cursing."

"Mom, we're all over eighteen."

"I don't like cursing."

"Karen, it's a horror movie," her husband said. "Come on. Come sit with me."

She put the DVD in before turning the lights out. I leaned against Eli's arm, half watching the previews and half watching my child's grandparents. Karen went over to the chair and sat down with Joseph. True, the chair was one of those overstuffed ones, but she was still mostly in his lap. It was weird to me, seeing two people that, while they weren't old, were grandparents of four, now five with my baby, still love each other so much. Eli and I had a hard enough time being happy with each other after a week together.

"Joey, stop," she said a minute later, shifting in his lap. Eli glanced over before going back to his phone. We all were waiting for the previews ended, which Jake insisted on watching. I was slowly learning in this family that it was easier to just give Jake his way than fight him.

"Jake, are you even watching these?" Eli asked, trying to keep the attention away from his parents. I think they were embarrassing him. At the moment, as Eli and I were only taking up half the couch, Jake was hanging upside down from it, staring at the television. "And sit up. God, are you drunk?"

"You better not be," his mom said, though she was currently concentrating on sharing a thing of cherry sours with…Joey. Shiver.

Jake flipped off the couch, landing on his head. "Ow."

"He's totally on something," I mumbled to Eli, who just kissed my head in return. The movie finally started. I wasn't one for movies, especially horror flicks. We were originally going to watch some gushy romance movie, but Karen was quickly outvoted. Trading in gush for gore, we now had some maniac killer running around a town, yet no one just moves until he's caught. Stupid.

Karen played her part of being scared, though I wasn't so sure it was an act. I was almost certain that she was afraid of the film, though she could have just being doing it for the benefit of Mr. Stock. I, on the other hand, was spending my time texting Maggie and sleeping. Eli was watching the movie intently and Jake was making loud, obnoxious noises every time he got fooled by a jump scare. He would startle me awake, which eventually prompted Eli to tell him to cut it out.

After the movie, Karen ordered pizza. When Karen first invited me over to dinner, I feared it would be awkward, but so far, she had been nothing but nice. Not that fake nice either. She really was being kind to me. Go figure.

"Thanksgiving's coming up," Karen commented as Mr. Stock turned the television to the news. "Are you coming over, Auden?"

"I-"

"Yes," Eli answered for both of us. I frowned, but he just knocked his knee against mine.

"Are you staying in Colby for Christmas break too?"

I nodded a little, opening my eyes. "Yep."

"What are you going to do for a month?"

Eli answered for me. "We have baby stuff to take care of."

And we did. Not to mention we finally had the space to do it.

When I got down here today, I was in a bad mood. I had finals coming up and work had been sucking badly. Not to mention Eli wouldn't return my calls. So when I pulled up to Abe's Bikes, where Maggie suggested I meet him, I was ready to lay into him about how I was pregnant with his baby and that it was his job to call me sometimes.

Then Eli had to go and force me into his truck, drive me to an apartment complex, and show me his new place. Our new place. The baby's new place. And, just like that, little Clayton would be living with her father. Or, at least, that's the name I chose. Eli was still stuck on his vote, so I was taking that to mean that I won.

"I do like your new apartment, Eli," Karen said as Joseph moved her so that he could get up. She resettled herself before sighing. 'Where are you going, Joe?"

"Bathroom. And Jake, if you're going to sleep, go to your room."

He just grunted, not moving from his facedown position on the ground. Karen sighed a little bit, clearly finished with her youngest at the moment.

"Did you guys get a crib yet?" Karen asked, changing the channel now that her husband had left the room. "I asked Steve if he would bring the one from his kids down when he comes for Thanksgiving-"

"We have one," Eli said. I nodded.

"It's already in the baby's room and everything." I leaned up and kissed his cheek. "You were busy this week."

"I was," he agreed, but his mother just frowned.

"Where did you get the money, Eli?" She settled the television on some murder mystery show. "I mean, with that new apartment-"

"I got a loan from someone, Mom. It's no big deal."

"From who? Eli-"

"It's no big deal, Mom. I'll get it paid back."

"But from-"

"Heidi, alright? I didn't even ask for it. I told her about the apartment and how it was a surprise for Auden. I made her a key on Wednesday because Thisbe's always over and whatnot. Then, on Thursday, I came by the drop some of my stuff off, and there was crib in the baby's room. She'd already bought it and everything. What did you want me to do?"

"Tell her to return it."

"It wasn't new. She said she knew we'd flip if she bought us a new crib, but she bought it off one of her friends that didn't need theirs anymore. She gave us some of Thisbe's old clothes too."

"Why couldn't you just have Thisbe's old crib?"

Eli shook his head. "Heidi's so…random. I don't know. I've learned not to listen."

"Where is Thisbe tonight anyways?" Karen asked, apparently not going to let anything go tonight. She changed the channel one more time, now settling on HLN. "Don't you normally have her, Eli?"

"Heidi wanted to take her out."

"Where?"

He shrugged. "I'm not sure. Aud?"

"She took her to meet this mysterious boyfriend."

Eli frowned. "What? No. No way. Why didn't she say anything?"

"Because I'm sure that you would have invited yourself so that you could see him."

"Have you seen him?"

"Not so far."

"See? He must be some sort of horrible guy," Eli said, frowning.

"Oh, I don't know," Karen said as her husband came back. He stood in front of her, leaning down to give her head a kiss, before making her move over a little bit for him. When he kissed her neck once they were settled, she squirmed. "Stop it."

He wrapped an arm around her stomach before looking at Eli. "Did I hear you talking about that apartment while I was in the bathroom?"

Eli nodded. "Yeah."

"Pretty nice place, eh, Auden?" He patted Karen's stomach. "Saw it myself. Buddy of mine is your landlord."

Was that supposed to be shocking? It always seems like everyone is Mr. Stock's buddy. Need a job? He's got you covered. Getting sued? Best friend in high school owns the town law office. Crash your car? He has a pal down at the body shop that we'll do great work. Now I can add a landlord to the list of buddies.

"It's nice," I agreed, though I was hesitant.

"But what?"

"It's just…Eli could barely pay for the other place. And I still have to pay for my apartment. I can't help out. And then with Clayton-"

"I said it'll be fine, Auden," Eli said, frowning at me, now mad that I had brought this up to his parents. I was pretty sure, though, that Karen had already had the same worry.

"Who's Clayton?" Jake mumbled against the ground, where his head was still placed. I blushed, realizing what I had said.

"It's some stupid name that Auden-"

I elbowed Eli. "It is not stupid."

Karen sat her drink back down. "I think it's a nice name."

"You're just saying that," Eli said, frowning. "That's not her name, Auden."

"I get final say, so I'll just refuse anything you say."

He flicked me in the forehead. "Cut that out."

"Or what?"

"You'll see later."

I rolled my eyes, leaning against his arm. I could see his mother was about to comment on our little side argument, but then the doorbell rang. Pizza was here.

"Come eat, Jake," Mr. Stock said as he got up to answer the door. "Unless you're going to get sick from eating. In that case, go to your room. Please."

Eli went into the kitchen with his father after he paid the pizza man, bringing me a plate back.

"There you go," he said, kissing my head as he sat down next to me while putting a plate in my lap. Such a multitasker. I smiled a little as Eli ran a hand down my stomach. It took a second, but Jake did end up stumbling to his feet. That brought my smile back down. Karen sighed before telling Jake to sit down and calling for her husband to bring him a plate as well as her own.

"You really need to move out," Joseph told his youngest as he came back into the room.

"Joey."

"What?" He tried to hand Jake a plate, but he almost dropped. "Damn it, Jake, just go to your room."

"Watch your mouth," Karen told her husband as he forced his son up. "I'm serious."

Ignoring her, Eli's father led his youngest son out of the room after giving Karen her plate. It was silent for a few moments, save Nancy Grace ranting and raving on the television.

Finally, Eli said, "Mom, he really-"

"He's trying, Eli. Jake just hasn't found his-"

"That's trying?" Mr. Stock came back, shaking his head. I sighed a little bit, feeling slightly awkward, being here for this and all. I guess though, now that I had the newest Stock living inside of me, I was part of this family and would be privy to this information.

"Joseph, honestly. Tonight has been a goodnight so far. Don't let him get you angry."

Letting his breath out slowly, he went to sit back in the chair with his wife. He immediately picked up the remote, changing the station to a football game. I took a bite of pizza, glancing at Eli, but he had his phone out again.

"We never got to hear what you think of the name, Joey," Karen said.

"Name?"

"Clayton."

"For what?"

"The baby, Joseph."

He shook his head. "I don't see it being much of our decision anyways. Whatever they like is fine. Clayton sounds like a male name though."

"I think that was their theme."

"Hm." He was clearly still angry about Jake. After finishing our pizza, Eli and I said goodnight before heading back to his new apartment. His other one he still had till the end of the month, but there was so little stuff in it, he had mostly cleared it out.

"I think I can get used to this place."

Eli shrugged as he unlocked the door. "It's bigger, I'll give you that. I just got it for the baby."

"Clayton."

"No."

The apartment was mostly bare still, so we just walked to our bedroom, where his bed already was.

"This room makes your bed seem so small."

"Makes us closer," he told me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. "Don't you think?"

I shrugged him off before going over to my bag, which sat in the corner. "I'm going to bed tonight. You stay up if you want."

"Will you be fine here?"

"Yeah, of course."

"Then I'm going to go do laundry down at Clyde's. I'll see you later, Aud."

"Bye."

We kissed once before he was gone. Then I was alone.

The apartment was a lot bigger than the garage one he had previous to this. I got into bed, slightly freaked out over how silent it was. In the other apartment, I could always hear the little boy or the coffee maker or cars passing by. Here, everything was muted. I was alone.

I was laying in bed, trying to sleep, when a phone rang. I got up and found out that it was Eli's cell phone, which he had left on the coffee table. Yep. We even had a coffee table. Moving on up, we are.

"Hello?" I answered, not even checking to see who it was.

"Hello?" The person asked back. "Who's this?"

"Auden." I went into the kitchen to see if there was anything to drink. I found a pack of cokes. "Who is this?"

"Oh. Steven. I was looking for Eli."

"He's not home right now. He left his phone." I took the drink back with me to the bedroom. "He'll probably be back late. Did you want me to tell him anything?"

"Uh, no. I'll talk to him myself."

"Alright then. Goodbye."

"Bye."

I hung up before laying back down. Eli got a few more texts, mostly from Jake, who was drunk texting him. I think he had confused Eli's number with some girl's, hopefully Isabel, because he was texting some pretty sexual stuff. I finally texted him back that this was Eli's phone, which didn't stop him from continuing the onslaught of messages.

I must have fallen asleep at some point, because Eli getting into bed woke me up. I moaned a little, opening my eyes to stare at him. He had his phone now, going through his messages.

"Should I be worried?" He showed me on text where Jake was begging for nude pictures.

"I think he got your number mixed up with someone else's."

"Likely story."

"How do I know it's not a normal thing for the two of you? A little incest, eh?"

He snorted. "God no."

I wrapped an arm around his stomach. "Steven called."

"Did he?"

I nodded a little before putting my head on his chest. "Clayton's hungry."

For once, he just went along with the name. "Is she?"

"Mmmhmm."

"What does she want?"

"Mmm…a sandwich is fine."

"Maybe Mommy should go get one."

"Eli."

"What? You don't think I'm helping out with this baby, do you?" He set his phone on the bed behind me. "I would have if it was a boy. Alas, it's a girl. She's your problem."

"Clayton can hear you, Daddy."

Eli kissed my head before getting out of bed. "Chips too, huh?"

"Yeah."

"Be right back."

I accidentally fell back asleep before he came back. When I woke up again, it was morning and Eli was sleeping. Not wanting to wake him, I got up and showered before heading out to get Thisbe.

Heidi answered the door, clearly almost done getting ready for work. "Oh, Auden, I thought you were Robert."

"Nope."

"He's in town, you know." She stepped back from the doorway. "Thisbe, come see who it is?"

"Eli?"

"No. Come see."

"Daddy?" She came out of the kitchen. "Auden!"

"Hey, Isby."

She looked behind me. "No Eli?"

Groaning, I leaned down to pick her up. "Eli's sleeping."

"Eli baby. Eli sleep like baby."

"Doesn't he though?" I bounced her a little as she looked down. "What?"

"Auden fat."

"Thisbe!"

I was about done with her for the day and it had just begun. "Thanks, Thisbe. No, really."

She kissed my cheek. "Wel'ome."

Rolling my eyes, I carried her back into the kitchen. "Is Dad supposed to be coming soon, Heidi?"

"He said he would, but I really need to get to work and-"

"I'll stay here and wait," I told her.

"Really?"

"Of course. Thisbe needs to finish eating anyways."

After Heidi left, I drank a cup of coffee while watching my sister eat breakfast. She was really just playing, but I was too tired to stop her. I had never been this tired so often. Maybe it was the baby.

"Eli work?"

"I'm not sure," I told her, still just watching. "I hope not."

"Me too."

I smiled at her. "You're getting to be so good at talking, Thisbe. You know so many words now, huh?"

"Yes! Big girl." To emphasize this, she spilt her bowl of cereal all over herself. Welp. At least babysitting isn't boring.

I was busy cleaning Thisbe up when the door bell rang. I was in the process of pulling on her shirt, but she bolted, leaving me alone in the bathroom.

"Get back here," I grumbled.

"Eli!" She ran to the door, which I opened when I got to it. Then she gasped. "Daddy!"

My father smiled down at her, standing there in his usual attire. I hadn't seen him in so long that, for a moment, it was like seeing a ghost. He was very pale, which was the first thing I noticed. Then again, he hadn't been staying in Colby these days, so he was probably getting less sun. Not to mention the fact that he was apparently holing up in my mother's house on the sly. Only true darkness came from that house.

"Hi, Thisbe." He laughed as she hugged his leg. "Hello, Auden."

"Hey, Dad," I said, stepping back a little. "Thisbe, let him come in. And come put on a shirt."

She giggled, letting him go before running off. My father just smiled.

"Certainly rambunctious, isn't she?"

He'd know this, if he was ever around.

"Yeah, I guess so," I said, turning to go follow her. "I have to finish getting her ready. I'll be right back."

He waited in the living room for us as I went upstairs to dress my sister. I took my time, not really wanting to deal with my father anyways. When we got back out there, Thisbe immediately explained to him how Eli took her to a bunch of different houses and apartments, apparently taking her house hunting.

"He bought a house?"

"He decided to rent an apartment," I said, coming to sit down next to him on the couch. "He wants to, uh, keep the baby."

"Keep the baby what?"

"With him. You know, instead of with me."

"…Why?"

I made a face. "It'll be for the better. Or so he says. That I should be concentrating on school."

"You don't want to be with the baby?"

"I do, but…I don't know, Dad."

He snorted. "I don't think that will last long. You let him keep that baby down here, you'll be dropping out and staying in Colby."

"So you think if I keep her, he'll come to me?"

"No."

"Why?"

"He's a guy, Auden. You'd get all emotional," my father told me, sighing a little as Thisbe set a stuffed animal in his lap. "He'll get over it."

"Like you did?"

I got a look for that one. "I was in that house with you the majority of you and your brother's life."

"I wasn't talking about me or Hollis."

It was silent for a minute, except for the oblivious subject of our topic as she tried to entertain our father with a dance. Eli would have laughed for her, but my father just stared.

"She wants you to praise her," I said, not wanting to continue this awkwardness with my own father. "Or at least smile."

"For what?"

"The dance. It's what Heidi would do."

"Heidi's too willing to tell her she's done good."

"Eli would too."

My father made a weird noise, but said nothing. Thisbe finished her dance and I clapped.

"You're supposed to make them think that they did well even when they didn't, Dad."

"That's what's wrong with kids today. They think that they deserve a prize for doing nothing. Like participation ribbons."

"Maybe," I agreed as Thisbe giggled, running to get in my lap. But maybe it's a good thing. "Maybe."

* * *

"Eli!" Thisbe walked into the bike shop with confidence. "E- Wallie!"

"Hey, Thisbe," he said with a sleepy yawn. "How's it going?"

"She wants-"

"Eli!" Thisbe ran into the back, where I could hear someone working. "Hi! Eli?"

I heard him mumble something back to her that made her giggle loudly. I smiled a little while Wallace shook his head.

"I'm about to get off. I have some stuff to do today, but the new guy's late. Can you watch the counter for me, Auden?" Wallace asked, standing.

"Yeah, sure."

"Thanks." He poked his head around the corner. "I'm taking off, Eli. Your girl's got the counter. Alright, bye. Bye, Thisbe."

"Bye-bye, Wallie!"

After he was gone, Eli came out of the back, my sister in his arms.

"How's my baby?"

"I'm fine."

"Not you. My baby." He came over to me. "You been taking care of my baby, Thisbe?"

She nodded a little.

"Good. Have you thought of a name?"

"Mmmm…Tigger."

"Right. We'll keep that one on the list," he told her as I rolled my eyes. "So anyways, Aud, Thisbe mentioned something about your dad."

"Yeah. He's in town."

"Why don't you sound excited?"

"Because I'm not," I offered up. "I mean, I'm happy to see him, but both of my parents are kind of on my nerves recently."

"Girls," Eli said with a shake of the head. "They never appreciate what you do for them. Tigger better never do that to me."

Thisbe giggled while I just sighed.

"You are a tiger, after all," I said.

"Yep. And when we have a boy-"

"We're not having anymore-"

"-we can name him Tony."

I just stared at him with the same mirthless look my father gave my sister. "You know, you make it very easy to hate you."

"At least I don't fall asleep while someone's making me food."

"Sorry about that."

Eli shook his head. "I ate it, so it's cool."

Thisbe got bored with being held, so Eli sat her down. She promptly ran into the back, making him roll his eyes. Leaning across the counter, he stared into my eyes.

"If your dad's here, I figure he'll want your sister tonight."

"Probably," I agreed.

"He'll probably offer to take you to do whatever he's doing with her."

"Most likely."

"Now I personally think you should refuse any offer and spend the evening with me again."

"What will your evening pertain, exactly?"

He blinked, smiling. "Well, first we have to get home."

"In your smelly truck."

"Exactly."

"Then what?"

"Well, then we can sit on the floor in the living room, where all I have currently is a coffee table, and eat beanie weenies cold while drinking some off brand of Pepsi."

"Mmm, sounds like fun."

"So what do you say? You in?"

"Wouldn't trade it for the world."

Eli kissed me, lingering for a moment before standing. "I have to get back there before your sister breaks something."

"I'll stay here until whoever's supposed to be here shows up."

"If he doesn't in the next five minutes, he's fired."

"Maybe he snuck off to go see his pregnant college girlfriend and forgot to call in.'

"Maybe," Eli agreed, much like I had earlier that day. "But I don't think it matters much now. I'm sure he has an apartment that she and their baby can stay in."

"I'm sure."

* * *

"This is the best worse date ever."

"That's an oxymoron."

I scooped some more beanie weenies out of the can. "So you are semi intelligent."

"So I've been told."

Eli laughed a little bit. "Hey, Aud?"

"What?"

"You know you have to head back tomorrow."

"I'm aware how this works. We've been doing it forever now."

"Well, I spent all this time picking out the best possible place for you and…Clayton. Yet, you haven't paid me any attention."

"I'm sitting here, eating cold beanie weenies with you in a barely furnished apartment that, no offence, kind of stinks."

He blinked, staring at me. "Okay. I can buy air freshener for that. I was actually talking about some more personal attention."

"Like what?"

"You're horrible at being coy."

I huffed, setting my now empty can down. "Eli, I don't want to. My stomach hurts, my head hurts, Thisbe called me fat, my hair is-"

"What?"

"My hair, it's-"

"No. Thisbe called you fat?"

"Well, yeah."

"Well, you're not. You're hardly even showing. I mean, yeah, you are, but it's not like you were super skinny to begin with."

"Thanks, Eli."

"No, I'm serious," he moved closer to me. "You're not even showing very much, Aud."

"You think?"

"I know." He kissed my head, though it quickly became my lips. Then he was setting down his can of off brand soda down on the ground and pushing me onto my back.

"Eli," I mumbled as I turned away from him. "Stop. I said no."

"Aud, come on." He stared down at me, his hair falling down into my face. He needed a hair cut. "I really want you. Bad. Real bad."

"No. I have headache."

Groaning, Eli got off me and stood up. He grabbed our empty cans of soda and beanie weenies before going into the kitchen to throw them away. I groaned too, sitting up to watch him.

"Eli-"

"No, it's whatever, Auden. I don't care."

Sighing, I stood and went to follow him into the little kitchen. "Eli, I just-"

"I get it, alright?"

"Well, clearly you don't."

"Clearly I do."

"No. You're angry with me."

"Am not."

"You clearly are."

"Just shut up, okay?"

I huffed, crossing my arms. "Then what do you want to do?"

"I wanted to have sex. You pick what else, since that's not going to happen."

"Eli, if you don't cut it out, I'll just leave right now."

He glanced at me from the cupboard, where he was getting another soda. "It's not that serious, Auden. Let's just…you wanna go to Clyde's?"

"We can, I guess. Not really though."

"Then what, Auden?"

"I want to do what we were doing before."

"Making out?"

"No," I said, shooting him the eye. "You know. Talking."

"Oh." He jumped up onto the counter behind him, popping the tab on his soda. "So…Anything in particular or-"

"Yes, Eli. World politics preferably."

"Then what, Auden?"

"I don't know. Just…the usual."

He patted the space next to him and I went to sit next to him on the counter. His counter. Our counter.

"I've been thinking about...Clayton."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Like what her middle name will be."

"That's not nearly as important as her last name."

He glanced at me. "It's Stock. Clayton Stock."

"See, I don't know about that. Maybe I want her to have my last name."

"She's my daughter, right? She takes my name, Auden, that's how it works."

"Not necessarily."

"Yes necessarily."

"Maybe I want her to be Clayton West. Or maybe Clayton West-Stock."

"Ew, no. I hate those stupid uppity people that give their baby two names. Just pick one of your last names and stick to it."

I sighed a little. "I still like West more than Stock."

"Too bad, Auden. What you've got between your legs doesn't dangle. You lost out on the last name transfer."

I elbowed him, but Eli just laughed. Reaching over, he took my hand, interlacing our fingers and cupping our hands with his other hand.

"Clayton Marie?"

"No," I said, shaking my head. "What about…Clayton Heather?"

"Ew." He kicked his legs back and forth, like Thisbe might do. "Clayton sounds like a boy name."

"I love it though."

"I guess."

"Besides, Auden's a boy name."

"Yeah, but it's so cute." He kissed my head, making me frown.

"Cut that out."

"Never," he mumbled against my head. Then he jumped down. "Come on now, Aud. You wanna go for a walk?"

"Sure."

Eli went and got me his hoodie before we could leave. We were out walking when we ran into Jake. Which wouldn't have been so odd if he wasn't running away from something.

"Eli," he yelled out as he passed. "You know Danny? He's going to beat me up!"

Eli groaned as Jake continued down the road. Sure enough, coming up next was some other guy. Eli let go of my hand, turning to face the other guy.

"This ain't your fight, Eli," the guy, who I assumed was Danny, wasn't running like his potential victim, but rather walking. The neighborhood continued on for so long though, that we could still see Jake running off in the distance. He turned a corner after a moment and the dot that was him was gone.

"I don't know what Jake did and, honestly, I don't care. If you want to hurt him, fine. Do it Monday, when I don't have Auden here and I can deal with it. Just leave him alone tonight, alright?"

Danny came to stop in front of us. "Your brother's long worn out his welcome around here."

"Yeah, I know."

When our walk resumed, Eli moved his arm to wrap around my shoulders. I leaned into him, smiling even though he couldn't see it.

"So you try to keep your weekends clear?"

"Yep. That way, I can spend all my time with you."

"What about when Clayton comes? You can't be messing with Jake's life then."

"Thing's change then, sure. Jake'll get moved down on the list of importance. So will you."

"Clayton will be on top?"

"No, myself is always on top."

"Eli."

"Of course she'll be on top." He kicked a stone down the sidewalk. "Besides, maybe one of these guys will knock some sense into Jake one day."

"Maybe."

"It won't matter though, when Clayton's born. She'll be my family then. Jake will be part of my original family, but not my new family."

"Will I be part of that new family?"

"Of course. You'll be my wife, one day."

"Eli-"

"You will."

"If you think so."

"I do."

 


	8. Chapter 8

 

"Mmm, cut it out, Eli."

He just kissed the side of my head, continuing to stroke my stomach. I refused to open my eyes and allow him victory over waking me up. It was my Thanksgiving break. Why couldn't he just leave me alone?

"Eli, I'm serious."

"I'm letting Clayton know that I'm here."

"She knows, now chill."

I just got another kiss.

"Eli, I'm tired."

"I'm letting you sleep."

"No. You're bothering me."

"Maybe it bothers me to not mess with your stomach."

"Maybe, but that's your problem. Deal with it."

"I could say the same to you."

I pushed his hand off finally. "Eli, I couldn't sleep last night with you coming in and out of the room. Then, around six in the morning, you decided we should have sex. Now it's noon. Let me sleep."

"You've been asleep for three hours," he complained. "I'm bored."

"What do you want me to do about it?"

"I told you what I want to do."

"Eli, I don't want to go buy baby stuff."

He groaned, moving further down on the bed so that his head was on my stomach. "See, little Clayton? I love you more."

"Eli, shut up."

He pushed up my shirt a little bit so that his head was resting on my skin. "Man, Clayton, Daddy can't do anything without Mommy flipping out."

"Stop talking to her when you're just doing it to piss me off."

We laid there for a few minutes before Eli got up. "I'm gonna go get ready for work."

"Cool."

"You want to come eat dinner with me and your sister tonight?"

"I can."

"Meet us at Last Chance around seven, alright?"

"Okay."

He kissed me before going to change clothes and leaving for work. I laid in bed until about two before I went to go do a load of laundry at Clyde's. When I got there, I found Jake passed out in one of the chairs, apparently waiting for his own clothes to wash. I woke him up, but he just asked me to put them in the dryer for him, which I did. If I was going to be apart of the Stock family, I was going to have to learn to take care of Jake too.

"Eli's at the bike shop," I told him, partially as a warning, but mostly to let him know that he could go over there and get taken care of by his older brother. I sat down next to him and Jake immediately leaned against me.

"I had a bad night, Auden."

I glanced at him, feel slightly awkward by our contact. "What happened?"

"Isabel broke up with me."

"Jake-"

"No, no. It's for the best, I'm sure."

I patted his knee, nervous about how this would seem. "You know, Jake, maybe you need to stop focusing on finding someone and focus on cleaning yourself up first."

"What'd ya mean?"

"You need to, you know, stop drinking so much, move out of your parents' house, start-"

"Can I move in with Eli? He's gotta extra room and, uh, stuff."

"No. That's Clayton's room."

He closed his eyes, yawning a little bit. "Clayton. Ha. My sister and other brother won't let me see their kids that much. I'll see…Clayton everyday."

"Nearly, yeah," I agreed. "Only if you clean up your act though."

"Eli said I can't baby sit alone."

"You can't."

"I'mma be a good uncle." He yawned a little, cuddling against me more.

"Jake-"

"Shhh. Quiet, Aud. I'mma sleep."

Seeing as I had nothing better to do, I just nodded.

"Fine."

* * *

"Hi, Auden."

I smiled at Thisbe, going to sit with them at the table. Eli had already ordered for us.

"Late."

"I had to take your brother home."

He groaned. "I told him to leave you alone."

"You know he can't do that."

"Still. God. Did he bother you?"

"I helped him do his laundry and then took him back to your parents' house. Your dad was there and you know he can talk for hours."

Eli nodded a little, eating a fry. "I got you a burger. Good?"

"Yeah, thanks."

Thisbe, who was sharing with Eli, took a bite of the hamburger that he had ripped up into pieces. 'Wo'k today."

"You did?"

She nodded. "With Eli."

"She's a very good helper," Eli bragged, making my baby sister beam. "Anyways, Jake's not your problem."

"Yeah, he is. You take care of my little sister. I have to take care of your little brother."

"The difference is that your sister is very well behaved."

"I don't know about that one."

"You're well behaved, huh, Thisbe?" He patted her on the head. "She's very good at working too."

"Not to mention she's not addicted to getting wasted."

"She better never be."

Thisbe took one of my onion rings, giggling uncontrollably when I made a face at her. Eli just sighed a little bit.

"What did you and Dad talk about?"

"Nothing really. He just asked about how I was feeling, if we were coming for Thanksgiving or going to my mom's, and when the next doctor's appointment is."

"We're getting another ultrasound in two weeks, right?"

I nodded a little. "Yeah."

"Hear that, Thisbe? We get to see Clayton."

"Yay," she said, though she was more concerned with the fact Eli had gotten ketchup on her shirt. "Eli messy."

"Very much so," I agreed, smiling from across the table at them. Thisbe grabbed a napkin and tried to help clean him up, but she almost fell, so he told her he could do it himself.

After dinner, we were going to take Thisbe back to Heidi's place, but found that she had already closed up. We were into winter hours now and she closed at five. Instead, we took her home.

"Oh good, you guys are here."

"Hey, Heidi," I said as she ran off, further into the house. We stepped in and closed the door. "What's wrong?"

"I bought you guys something!"

I glanced at Eli, who just sat Thisbe down on the ground before frowning.

"Heidi, that's really not necessary. I mean, the baby won't be here for a few more months-"

"Those few months go by so fast though, Eli!" She returned with a carrier car seat thing. Whatever. I frowned a little.

"Heidi, we're just," I looked at Eli before continuing, "uncomfortable about you spending so much money on us."

"Auden, you're in college. And Eli works at a bike shop. Your mothers and fathers might just be fine with you fine with just letting you do this on your own, but that wouldn't be fair to Clayton at all." She smiled at us. "Plus, this is Thisbe's first time being an aunt. This is going to be very exciting for her. Huh, Thisbe?"

She looked up from the empty cup that she had knocked off the coffee table. "Yes. Aunt me. Me aunt. Clay'on Eli baby. Wa-wa. Babies do. No me. Me big girl. Me aunt. Aunt me."

Eli shook his head. "My mom's been really on my case about you helping us out though, Heidi. We appreciate it and everything, but-"

"Eli, you'll pay me back." As if thinking about it for a moment, she added on, "One day."

"That's very vague."

"Well, thanks to you, I don't have to pay for Thisbe to have nannies or anything. You deserve some sort of compensation." She handed us the car seat. "Do you know how to put it in the car? You know that the bottom part-"

"Yes, Heidi." He went over to my little sister, pulling her hand away when she tried to push a stack of magazines off the coffee table. "Behave."

She just giggled, moving her hand around to hold his. "Love Eli. Love Auden. Love Mommy. Love baby. Clay'on Eli baby. Wa-wa. Babies d-"

"No more explanations, Thisbe. I think we understand how this all will go down," I told her gently. "Thank you, Heidi."

She smiled. "Can you guys stay for a little while? I'm sure Thisbe would love for you to watch TV for awhile. And Auden, there are some stuff that I want to talk about with you."

"About what?" Eli asked, frowning. "No."

"What?" I asked, glancing back and forth between them.

"Don't play coy. You suck at it."

I rolled my eyes. "Eli-"

"She's going to give you money in the kitchen. She did it last time we were here." He sat down on the couch and Thisbe immediately climbed into his lap. "We don't need money, Heidi. We're fine."

Thisbe yawned loudly, cuddling back against him. Eli nodded at the remote, asking Heidi's permission.

"Here," she said, handing it to him. "Watch what you want. Did you guys feed Thisbe?"

"Yep," he said, patting her stomach gently. "Huh, Thisbe?"

She just giggled, reaching up to pull his baseball cap off. She frowned when she realized it was a Detroit Tiger's hat and not the normal one. "Eli!"

"Sorry, Thisbe. I couldn't find my other one. Do you have it?"

"No, Eli." She snuggled against him before looking at her mother. "Mommy eat? Mommy eat wid boyfriend?"

"No, I ate alone," she said, going into the kitchen for a second. I went and sat down next to Eli and my sister, sighing a little.

"What's wrong, Aud?"

"My stomach hurts a little."

He frowned. "It's probably because Clayton's mad about having to be with Jake earlier."

"Clayton is Jake's niece."

"That just means she realizes what a mess up he is too. She's smart like that. Just like Thisbe, huh?"

"Yes," Isby agreed with him. "Mommy! Thirsty!"

"Come get your sippy cup."

She jumped out of Eli's lap and ran off, taking his cap with her. I smiled at Eli.

"Today's been a good day."

"Every day with me is a good one, Auden."

"Is that so?"

He wrapped an arm around my shoulders, pulling me in for a kiss on the head. He seemed like he wanted to tell me something, but Thisbe was coming back.

"Foo'bal," she told us, looking at the game Eli had it turned on now. "Huh?"

"Yep."

She climbed onto the couch with us, her Teletubies sippy cup in hand. I leaned against Eli and he removed his arm from around me so he could hunch forward, staring at the game. Thisbe watched Eli to be sure when she was supposed to be angry or happy with the players on the television.

Heidi went to her room for awhile before returning. I told her that we could leave now, if she wanted, but she claimed that it was fine, that she liked having us over. After the game, Eli and I bathed Thisbe before putting her to bed.

"Eli stay? Sleep here?" She pointed to the corner of her room as we tucked her into bed.

"No. I have to go home with Auden."

"'n' Clay'on?"

"Yep."

Giggling, she began to tell us something else, but then Heidi walked in to tell her goodnight and we said our goodbyes. After that, we headed back to the apartment.

"What are we going to do tonight?" I asked Eli as neither of us got out of his truck. We were just sitting in front of the building, waiting for something, but we weren't sure what. Maybe an idea of what to do to strike us. I don't know.

"You already did laundry, so that's out, huh?" Eli was tapping out a beat on his steering wheel. "Uh, you need anything from the store?"

"Nope."

"Then…You wanna go to a par…But you're pregnant so…"

I sighed. "We haven't even had the baby yet and we're already so freaking boring."

"Not boring, Auden. Responsible. What if we went to that party and something happened?"

"Eli."

"What fun would you have, Aud? You can't drink. You won't know anyone. I mean, Jake if he managed to sneak out of the house again, but most everyone will only be people I know. Not to mention, I'm kind of getting too old to hang around these stupid parties in Colby."

"You're the one that doesn't want to move closer to Defriese. We could go to college parties there."

"Again, not drunk. Not to mention I like living here just fine."

"Except for the fact that there's nothing for us to do."

"We won't need anything to do when we have Clayton."

"That's what people think and then they end up breaking up."

Eli sighed, shaking his head. "Then what, Aud? You wanna go to the party?"

"No. I just don't like the idea of spending my break with you, Heidi, and your parents."

"Then what do you want? It's not like your life was so exciting before this." He glanced at me. "I just don't like the idea of hanging around drunks when you're pregnant. Sorry."

"Then what do you want to do?"

He glanced at the clock. "It's only ten. You wanna drive around until we find something to do?"

"No. That wastes gas. We can't just blow money."

"You wanna go inside and, you know, bang?"

I rolled my eyes, refusing to smile for him. "Eli."

"Well, do you?"

"No."

"You wanna watch me, you know?"

"Eli, seriously."

"I'm kidding, Aud." He leaned back in his seat. "So you wanna just hang in the truck? We can, if you want. I don't care. Or we can go in and sleep. It's up to you."

I leaned against the car door. "You know, you're going to be good at this baby thing."

"What makes you say that?"

"You don't sleep regularly. Neither will the baby."

"Don't call her the baby, Auden. I don't call you the girlfriend. Her name's Clayton."

"So you're really fine with that now?"

"We've been calling her it and, I think, it kind of fits at this point. Don't you?" He leaned back. "Clayton Stock. I can hear her name now, being called as she's talking in class. Or beating up one of the mean kids. Or-"

"Chill, Eli."

He just smiled. "Can I tell you something?"

"Might as well."

"I just…I really did want boy. Like, really bad. But now…I don't know. I mean, I do get that it'll suck at first, having to take care of a newborn. But when she gets older and stuff, I'll be so excited to just…be with her. Don't you think it'll be fun?"

"I guess."

"You don't sound very excited, Auden."

"I'm just trying to figure it all out, you know? I'm gonna be in college and she's going to be here with you. That's not fair."

"It's for the better though. And you won't miss much. You'll still be coming down to Colby every weekend, huh? And when she gets a bit older, I'll take her to see you. Maybe. If we're not having too much fun alone, which is very likely. Thisbe says that I'm pretty good with little kids."

"She is, after all, your best friend."

"Exactly."

We sit there for a few more minutes before Eli decides to drive to the gas station to get us some snacks. Somehow after that, we end up at his parents. Can you say secretly planned or what?

"Hey, Mom."

She hugs him before looking like she's going to hug me. Thinking better of it, she just smiles at me. She can probably tell that I'm a little pissed that we ended up here. Again. God. I could never get Eli to spend the same amount of time with my parents. Though, I couldn't even get myself to do that.

"Eli's here?" Joseph calls out from somewhere. "Good. Tell him to meet me in the backyard."

"So this was planned," I hiss at Eli, but he just shrugs, shaking his drink at me.

"Duty calls."

"Wait. What do you expect me to do?" I asked, following him to the kitchen. Through the screen door, I can see his father back there, working on their lawnmower. I faintly remember him mentioning it being broken at the beginning of the week.

He tilts his drink towards his mother, who's in the kitchen. "Girl time."

I blinked. "Uh, I'm good."

"Well, I'm outside if you wanna come be there. I'm sure Jake's puking in the bathroom if you want to go take care of him."

"Eli-"

"Have fun."

I hate him. I really do.

* * *

As it turned out, hanging out with Eli's mother wasn't so bad. She had a movie marathon that was on, so there was very little chatter between us. Around midnight, I fell asleep on the couch, where I stayed for a few hours. I don't know what Eli and his father were doing to the lawn mower that took so long or why they waited until night to do it, but when he woke me up, it was four in the morning.

"Aud. Hey, Auden. Can you get up, baby?"

I groaned, trying to move but found that the blanket Karen had given me was tangled up around my body. "What?"

"Let's go."

"Eli-"

"Come on. It's not that far to my place. You can even sleep in the truck if you want."

"Let her sleep on the couch, Eli," I heard his father say from the kitchen, the only room with a light on or so it seemed. Karen was gone from her spot in the chair now and it was just the three of us up. "You guys can just stay here."

Eli left, coming back with a pillow for me and a blanket for him. After giving me the pillow, he went and tried to get as comfortable as possible in the chair as he could. I heard his father talking still, but I fell back asleep.

When I woke up again, it was morning. What had woken me up was staring at me.

"Jake, don't poke me, please."

"Sorry. I had to see if you were breathing."

"I'm not drunk. I'm pregnant, you know."

"I know."

I groan, sitting up. "Where's Eli?"

"He left."

"What?"

"It's nine. He had work."

"He took his truck?"

Jake nodded. "I could drive you-"

"Jake, I'm just going back to the apartment. It's not that far."

"You're pregnant though. You shouldn't walk a lot, right?"

"Actually it's good-"

"Great! I'll take you in my new car."

"J-"

"Come on."

I looked around for anyone else, but I couldn't find anyone to pawn Jake off on. Looks like I'm stuck with him. Lucky me.

"We could go get breakfast first, if you want."

"Jake, what's up?" I got into the passenger side of his car. "Why are you acting so weird?"

"Me? Acting weird?"

"Extremely so."

"I guess that I'm just…trying to…you know...welcome you."

"To…?"

"Us."

"Us?"

"The family."

"By taking me home."

"Yep."

"…What's really up?"

"Auden, why does something have to be up? Can't one person help out another person?"

"They can, I suppose, but you have never helped me out."

"Are you kidding? I'm the whole reason you're with Eli."

"How do you figure?" I asked as he started the car.

"Easy. If we hadn't had slept together, I wouldn't have been able to tell Eli that we did. If I didn't do that, he wouldn't have known how easy you were and-"

"Whoa, wait. No. He did not get with me because I was easy. We didn't even sleep together until-" I stopped myself.

"Until…?"

"No. It's none of your business, Jake!"

He sighed loudly. "My only point was, that you have me to thank for that child in your stomach."

"I do not."

"Yes. I mean, if I had never been born, do you know how different things would have been? Eli would have been the youngest and that would have made him codependent on his parents. He would have been still living with them and you guys could have never had that huge romp that brought upon Clayton."

"Romp? What are you? Twelve?"

"So what if I am?"

Groaning, I closed my eyes tightly. "Jake, you're giving me a headache."

"Sorry."

We ride in silence to Eli's, but Jake getting out when we pull up caused me to find my voice.

"What are you doing?"

"Eli let's me sleep on his couch. I want to get out of Mom's and Dad's for awhile. Do you mind?"

"It's his apartment, not mine."

"Eh, that's debatable."

I unlocked the door for us and Jake immediately crashed on the couch. I sighed a little before heading the bedroom to work on some school work. I was busy studying when I heard the front door open and close. At first, I assumed that it was Jake leaving, but then I heard another voice. Then Eli's. Then Jake's. Who was this mystery guy?

"Auden!"

"Jake, we can all see she's here, you don't have to announce it to us," Eli sighed as I came out of our bedroom. "Auden, you know Steven."

"Hi," I said, walking into the living room. Eli immediately pulled me into this awkward side hug, which was kind of out of character for him so I worried about his mental stability. "Eli."

I got a kiss on the head too.

"What are you doing here anyways, Jake?" Eli asked.

"The real question is what are you doing here," his brother countered.

"Gee, I don't know, I live here." Eli shook his head. "I came by to show Steve my new place."

"It's uh…nice, I guess," his oldest sibling said, looking around. "When'd you get a couch?"

"Two days ago," Eli said, sighing. "Heidi, uh, 'found' it."

"What's with the air quotes?"

I rolled my eyes. "She really bought it for us, but wants us to think that she found it on the side of the road."

"So…You're not related to this woman anymore, right?" Steve asked me, frowning.

"No, not really. She's the mother of my half-sister, but-"

"Yet she bought you a crib and a couch?" Steve whistled. "I'd be getting a paternity test, Auden, on your so called sister. This woman's a little bit too nice to Eli."

"Shut up, Steven," Eli said, frowning. Nearly every run in I had with Steve, he got in a fight with Eli. I didn't feel like this happening again, so I intervened.

"How was work, E-"

Jake, as always, foiled my plans.

"Man, dude, that'd make so much sense." He got up from the couch. "Eli spends, like, all his time with Thisbe and he, like, gets depressed if he can't. Wouldn't that be so cool? Like a movie. He knocked up the step mom and the daughter. Bam! In your face, Robert!"

We all blinked. Jake just sighed before heading into the kitchen.

"Anyways, how was work?" I tried again. Eli shrugged, now angry with both of his brothers. I looked at Steve.

"Where are your kids? And wife?"

"At the hotel. The kids wanted to swim in the pool," he said, scratching the back of his head. "Hey, Eli, I was just kidding around. And Jake…Jake's an idiot."

"I can hear you!"

"Just shut up, alright?" Eli looked at me. "What were you doing here with Jake?"

"He gave me a ride home. He thinks that pregnant women shouldn't move or something."

"I was being courteous," he called from the other room.

"Spell courteous," Steve mumbled, shaking his head. "Where is that little girl anyways?"

"Thisbe? I left her at the shop when you called."

"With who?"

"Wallace and Johnny."

I tried to think of who that was. "Do I like Johnny?"

"Knowing you, probably not." Eli made a face as something fail in the kitchen. "Jake, seriously? You're about to get kicked out. Come in here, sit back down, and behave."

"You guys treat me like a kid," he complained, coming back into the room with a sandwich and soda. "FYI, there's some spilt water on your floor."

"Clean it up."

"Auden can, eh, Auden?"

Rolling my eyes, I started to go do it, but Eli put a hand on my arm.

"You're really trying my patience, Jake," his brother informed him before walking off. Steven shook his head before sitting down on the couch next to his youngest brother. Not caring for either of them, I went into the kitchen with Eli.

"How was your day, Eli?"

"It's getting consecutively worse. You?"

"Clayton feels good today."

"Then my day just got a little better." He looked up from mopping up the spilt water. "Come here."

I got a kiss and my stomach got a quick pat. "We don't have that long anymore."

He kissed my head. "I know. I'm so excited. This'll be great. Well, I mean besides the fact that Clayton will cry a lot. And poop. Not to mention pee."

"At least we're not having a boy. He'd pee on you."

"Yeah, ew." Eli lifted me up with one arm and sat me down on the counter. I smiled a little bit.

"So you and Heidi, huh?"

"Shut up," he said, sighing a little bit. "Steven's a douche."

"Eli," I scolded, frowning. "Clayton can hear you. Remember?"

"Clayton's probably going to be hearing worse words than that, living with me and all."

"Mmm, you're not so bad," I said, leaning forward a little bit.

"You don't think so?"

"No. I think I curse more than you these days."

"Probably. You're under way more stress than me."

"How so?"

"You're carrying around possibly the most amazing person in the world in your stomach, you're dating an unbelievably amazing guy, and you're in school. I don't know how you manage, Aud."

"Ha ha."

"What? You don't think the baby is the most amazing ever?"

"Oh, she is. I just don't know about this amazing guy."

"Oh, well, just to reassure you." He came back to me and got into my face, kissing me deeply. I smiled into it, letting him take control. When he pulled back, he just laid his head against mine. "Have you reconsidered your answer?"

"Mmm, maybe. Try me again."

We kiss again.

"Well?"

"Can I get a shoulder rub tonight?"

"Am I getting sex out of it?"

"Maybe."

"Okay then."

"Then yeah, I have the most unbelievably amazing boyfriend." I smiled at him. "But, by saying unbelievably, wouldn't that imply that-"

"Don't try and twist my words with your big intelligence."

"I'd never think of it."

I got picked up again, but this time he just sat me on the ground.

"Were you napping? I can kick them out if you want to rest."

"No, just studying."

"My little scholar," he said before kissing me again, though this time it was more of peck. "Alright, let's go."

When we got back out there, Steven was missing, but Jake was still lounging on the couch.

"Where is he?" Eli asked.

Jake nodded towards the hall. "Bathroom. Hey, Eli, wanna-"

"No."

"But-"

"No."

"Fine then." Jake got up. "I'm leaving. Goodbye, Auden. You're the only one that cares about me."

Eli just rolled his eyes. "Head into work, Jake. You skipped out yesterday, you know."

"Oh, I know," he said and then he was gone.

"Come here," Eli said, pulling me down onto the couch with him. "You like my new couch?"

"Love it. Isn't it our new couch though?"

I got a kiss on the side of my head. "Are you helping with rent?"

"No."

"Then no."

"Eli."

"It's our baby's couch. Little Clayton's couch. Not Auden's couch though."

"Clayton likes to share with me though."

"She does?"

"Yeah."

"And she told you this?"

"Uh-huh."

"Then sure, it's yours too," he said, wrapping his arm around my shoulders. Steven came back and immediately asked where Jake went.

"Out," Eli said, staring at his brother. "You wanna do something? I'm sure tonight Mom's having a big dinner to welcome you home."

"What's there to do, Eli? We're in Colby." He shook his head. "That's why I left. I can't believe you're planning on staying."

I could tell that he was getting agitated again, so I said, "I want to move down here when I finish college. It's easier for him to be here too, to help out with Thisbe."

His brother just shook his head. I smiled a little.

"You wanna go get Thisbe now? I'm sure she's pissing Wallace and John off at this point."

Eli stands. "Yeah. You wanna go, Steve?"

"Actually, I think I'm going to walk down to Mom's place."

"No one's home," I tell him. "Or at least they weren't when I left."

He shrugged. "It's something to do."

When we're in the truck alone, I ask Eli why he lets his brother get to him like that.

"I don't know. It's just…he's my older brother, you know? But even he's disappointed with what I've done with my life." Eli reached up and ran a hand over his head, his cap clearly missing. My sister must have it. "The only one that's, like, proud of me is Thisbe, I guess. And she just gets excited because I play with her. Man if…he hadn't died…if I had…he sure as hell wouldn't still be here."

I paused for a second as we sat in the parking lot. "Eli…I don't…know Abe. I never will. But to hear you, the father of my baby, say that he wishes he was dead…why? I know that you've been depressed for as long as I've known you, but…I thought I would be enough."

"You are, Aud."

"Bullshit, Eli."

He huffed. "What do you want?"

"When Clayton's born, is she going to be enough? When I live with both of you, then will I be enough?"

"Auden, no one going to replace him."

"I know that."

"Do you? Do you really?"

I glanced at him. "I just don't want to waste my time on you if you're never going to move on. If staying in Colby is going to do this, we're leaving."

"I'm fine."

"You always say that, but you never are. He's dead, Eli."

He started the truck, not moving his eyes from in front of him. I leaned my head against the window, sighing.

"Ooh," I said a moment later.

"What?"

"The baby kicked."

Eli glanced at me as we came to a red light. "No shit?" Reaching over, he laid his hand against my stomach, waiting. When she kicked again, he laughed. Then he sobered. "I love Clayton, Auden."

"Okay."

"She's more than enough for me. That's my baby."

"I know."

"She's my firstborn. I'd die for her."

"I'm really done with the dying talk, Eli."

"It's true."

"What about me?"

He gave me a crooked grin. "You're alright."

* * *

"Look! Look! I maked a tur'ey, Eli!"

He patted Thisbe on the head, glancing down at her drawing before going back to the football game. "Cool. Good job."

Thisbe then walked over to the chair, standing in front of Mr. Stock. "Look! Look! I maked a tur'ey!"

I smiled a little, leaning against Eli's arm. "How'd we get her for Thanksgiving again?"

"Heidi and her boyfriend are having an alone dinner. Bleh. Who wants to be with their girlfriend on a holiday?"

"I have no idea," I told him, which made him laugh.

"Baby fine today?"

"She's perfect."

"Good." He ran a hand down my stomach. I saw his niece, Erica, watching us and smiled at her. The four year old giggled, running off. Thisbe, now done with showing everyone in the living room her masterpiece, headed into the kitchen to show it off.

"Hey, Dad! Look who bought Jack Daniels!"

Joseph groaned as Jake came into the house. "Jake-"

"No, no, it's cool. I didn't spend too much on it."

Steve, who was on the other side of Eli, shook his head. "Really, Jake, you-"

I didn't hear the rest because I got up to go see if I could help in the kitchen. Every time I offered though, Karen turned me down. This was mainly due to the fact that I couldn't cook. At all.

"Auden, why didn't your mother come? She only lives a few towns over, right? Was she not invited?" Linda, Eli's sister, asked me after her mother once again turned me down on my offer to help.

"Oh, she's not big on," I stopped to think of a word, but all I could think of was happiness. "On, um, holidays."

Karen made a noise, but said nothing more on it. She didn't like my mother, but they had never really met, so that wasn't fair. Thisbe pulled on Karen's pants leg.

"Look! Look! I maked a tur'ey."

"Not now, Thisbe."

She humphed before looking around. She headed over to Linda. "Look! Look! I maked a tur'ey."

"It's very pretty."

Beaming, Thisbe went over to Taylor, Eli's other niece, who was sitting at the kitchen table reading a magazine. "Look! Look! I-"

"Yeah, we've all heard you."

Thisbe made a face. "Look."

"Thisbe, if she doesn't want to leave, her alone," I said, but the toddler was upset by the lack of enthusiasm from Taylor. Taylor was Steven's oldest and, being ten, had decided that she was old enough to not come down to Colby to waste her week off from school with her brothers and cousin. Now with my little sister pissing her off, she was about done for the day.

"Behave," Karen told her oldest grandchild, rolling her eyes. Earlier, when Taylor had been told to take out the trash and refused, her and Karen had gotten into an argument. Her grandmother was still clearly annoyed by that. "She just wants you to pay attention to her."

Steven's wife, Kelly, rolled her eyes. Her and Karen didn't get along well either. I thought that Karen didn't like me, but I was learning that, compared to her other children-in-laws, I was getting the good stuff. And I'm not even married to Eli.

"Taylor, sweetie, you don't have to look at a damn picture," Kelly said, eyeing me. Apparently, I should apologize for Thisbe or something. God, you'd think Taylor was queen of the world.

"Here, Thisbe, let's go in there with Eli and leave her alone, alright?"

"You don't have to, Auden," Linda, who didn't like Kelly either, said, but I just shook my head. When I got to the living room, Jake had taken my spot, so I took Thisbe and Erica out front to play. Jordan, Steven's middle child, tagged along.

"I think Eli said that there's a soccer ball under the porch," I told Jordan, who immediately dug it out. He was a little bit older than his cousin Erica, but a lot nicer than his sister Taylor.

"Here you go, Thisbe," he said, kicking her the ball. She giggled, trying to kick it back, but falling down. Erica ran over and kicked it back to him. They began to get into some sort of rhythm of how it was to be kicked and to who. When Steve came outside, he had Vinny, his other son, in his arms. He too was older than Thisbe, but only by a few months. She immediately ran over to Steve, jumping up and down.

"What?" He asked as Vinny began to wiggle in his arms. "Oh, here."

Vinny and Thisbe started playing with each other, ignoring the older kids.

"I think your sister has a thing for my son," Steven told me, coming to sit down on the step next to me.

"Mmm, I don't know. Vinny seems like the aggressor to me," I said, nodding over at them. Steve groaned.

"Vincent! You stop that," he yelled as his son went over to a tree, pulling down his pants. "I told you that you can't pee outside. Come here!"

Thisbe, seeing him do that, pulled down her pants to join. Groaning, I stood up to stop her from peeing the tree.

"Pee like doggie," Vinny told his father as he made him pull up his pants. Thisbe giggled as I corrected her.

"You two are people," I told them. "You pee in the potty. Okay?"

Thisbe just laughed before running off. Steven asked Vinny if he was finished, which he said yes to. After agreeing to never pee on a tree again, he went to go help Thisbe find a snake to play with.

"Your son sure is a go getter," I told Steve as we sat back down. "I mean, gosh, he hardly even knew my sister before he just pulled off his pants."

Steve glanced at me. "Maybe he takes after Jake and she takes after you."

Oh my God. I had never blushed that heavily.

"Eli, uh, doesn't like for that to be brought up."

"I bet," Steve said, staring at me for a second before smiling. "I'm just joking, Auden."

"Yeah, but…does everyone know?"

"Everyone?"

"In your family?"

"Well, not the people who have never met you, no."

"Does…your mom? Or your dad?"

"I have no idea. I doubt it." He still kept looking at me. "Auden, all of us make mistakes sometimes. You were a kid, right? Besides, I slept around a lot before I met Kelly."

I must have rolled my eyes, because he asked me what.

"Huh?"

"You don't like her, do you?"

I shrugged. "She's not-"

Steven sighed. "You'll fit in perfect in here. My mother and sister hate her."

"She's just-"

"Rude, I know."

"I wasn't going to say that."

"She is though." He shrugged a little bit. "We all have flaws."

"Like sleeping with your future boyfriend's brother."

I got a smile for that one. "Exactly."

 


	9. Chapter 9

 

I was never going to get out of bed again. Ever. Even if it was Christmas.

My mother knocked on the bedroom door, but I didn't move from Hollis' bed. She left. Closing my eyes, I ran a hand down my stomach, breathing out slowly. Clayton…

It was the day after exams and I went in for my check up. There wasn't a heartbeat. Clayton was gone. I was too far along. They induced me and I had to give birth to…

I heard the front door open and close. Who was that? Whoever it was called out for my mother. Dad…

"What are you doing here, Robert?"

"I came to see Auden."

Why were they talking so loud?

"She won't want to see you. She's been holed up in that room since she got here."

"I have to-"

"Stop, Robert."

"Let me go."

"No. She's in mourning."

"Victoria, she can't just lay in that bed for the rest of her life."

"She's not going to. She's on break anyways."

"What about work?"

"She doesn't need to work."

"You can't let her-"

"Robert, she just lost a baby. Let her be."

Closing my eyes tightly, I tried to force myself to sleep, but it was impossible.

"What about school?"

"She'll go back when the semester starts. Right now, I just want her to stay away from that town and away from that boy."

"That boy-"

"-she needs space, Robert. You can stay, but don't bother her. I don't want her feeling worse than she already does."

For once, not only was my mother in my corner, but my father also actually listened to her.

* * *

The sound of wine glasses clinking woke me up. I sat up and looked around. For a second, I didn't know where I was. Then I remembered I was at my mother's house. Next came the memory of the fact I lost Clayton.

Eli was with me at the doctor. He was with me when I had to have her. That's the last time I saw him. My mom picked me up in Colby and took me back home. She had my cell phone, but I'm sure he's called. I'm sure a lot of people have called. I just don't care to hear from them.

My mother was drinking when I came down the staircase. My father was sitting next to her at the table, looking over a novel. Looking up when he heard me come in, he immediately jumped to his feet.

"Oh, Auden."

I recoiled when he ran to hug me, but he wrapped his arms around me regardless. After a second, I leaned into him.

"I'm so sorry. About all of this."

I closed my eyes. I wanted Eli, suddenly. I hadn't seen him in so long, but I wanted to know what he was doing. His family was supposed to come down for Christmas. I wonder if he went. I bet he took Thisbe. Maybe. Definitely to Christmas Eve. I bet she got to play with Vinny. At least she was happy.

"Robert, let her go."

When he did, I couldn't look at his face. I didn't want to.

"Are you hungry, Auden?" My mother asked, taking a sip of her wine. "Your brother'll be here soon. He's bringing dinner."

"Hollis is coming?"

"Why? Do you not want him to?" My mother pulled out her cell phone. "I'll tell him-"

"No, its fine, I just…" I trailed off, not knowing what I wanted. My mother, who had favored my brother since I was born, was willing to send him away for me? Wow.

"Just what?" My father asked, but I shook my head.

"You don't have to be here," I told him, still not looking at his face. "I'm sure Thisbe-"

"I saw her yesterday."

"On Christmas Eve?"

"Yeah."

"She wasn't with Eli?"

He frowned at me. "Eli's not really…involved with helping Heidi out right now. She said that he really wants to talk to you t-"

"Enough, Robert," my mother interrupted. "Auden needs time."

Sighing loudly, he took a step back. "Well, anyways, I wanted to spend Christmas with you. It's been awhile since we've spent alone time together."

I absently stroked my stomach, which I realized was dumb. My mother, who saw it, grimaced a little.

There was a knock on the door and my father went to answer it.

"You can't-"

"I want to see her."

Eli… I just sat down at the table with my mother, not wanting to see him.

"Eli-"

"You can't just keep her from me. We need to talk."

"She needs time."

"She needs me."

"You just can't-"

"Fuck you."

The door closed. My father came back.

"That was-"

"We heard," my mother said, taking another sip of wine. Next time there was a knock at the door, my mother answered it. This time, it was Hollis.

"Pizzas for Christmas."

Hollis nodded as he and my mother came back into the room. "Yep. Got your favorite, Aud. Mushrooms and sausage." He came up behind my chair and patted me shoulder after he sat the pizzas down. "How you feeling?"

"Hollis-" my father started, but he kept on.

"I mean, you have to be feeling really-"

"I'm not hungry," I said, standing. I quickly made my way up stairs, immediately headed to my room. Then I remembered that I didn't have a room anymore. I went into Hollis' room, locking the door behind me.

It wasn't fair. I wanted Clayton more than anything. Now I'd never get her. Laying down on the bed, I buried my head into the pillow, which that it would suffocate me.

* * *

When I woke up, someone was in bed with me. I could feel their breath on my face, hear the soft snore that was escaping their lips. I knew immediately who it was. Keeping my eyes closed, I leaned into him.

"Auden."

I had woken him up.

"Mmm."

"Shhh." Eli ran a hand up and down my back. "I missed you."

I closed my eyes tightly. "I know."

"Do you know what it took to get in here? I had to freaking climb a tree."

"It's because you love me."

"More than anything." And that was true now. The only person he could possibly ever love more was taken from us. I opened my eyes slightly.

"Merry Christmas."

He laughed a little. "You hate religion. You can't celebrate Christmas."

"I think you can now, whether you read the bible or not."

"You atheists, always taking away the good stuff from religion. It's not that you don't believe, it's just that you only want the good part of believing."

"Yep, that's us. We hold meets about it in secret, you know."

"On Sunday mornings?"

"And Wednesday nights."

Eli kissed my head. "Your mother threatened me."

"When?"

"The day after you came here, I tried to follow. Your mother said that she would cut my dick off and shove it up my ass if I came near you before you were ready."

"Sounds bloody."

"And painful."

Bloody and painful… I closed my eyes and Eli realized his error.

"Hey," he whispered, moving to look at me. "I've got you now. Everything'll be alright. I promise."

"Eli…"

He nuzzled my neck. "Auden, if you want to…talk-"

"I don't."

"Then fine. I want to. We need to-"

"I don't care what you want."

So we laid there in silence for awhile. Eli went back to sleep, while I distracted myself by scrolling through his cell phone. Apparently, he too had fallen off the radar. Everyone wanted to know where he was at and if he was okay. His mother and father texted the most. They wanted to know about me too, if we were together, how I was doing. Even without Clayton, I was still part of the Stock family.

"Auden?" There was a knock on the door and then the doorknob rattled. "Honey, this isn't funny. Open the door. Or at least say something."

This startled Eli and he jumped up, stumbling over his feet and falling down.

"Eli!" I got up to help him stand.

"Auden, what's going on in there?"

After helping him to his feet, I went to unlock the door. "Nothing, Mom, Eli just-"

"What are you doing here?" She asked him, frowning. "How did you get in?"

"The window," I told her when it was clear Eli wasn't going to speak to her. "He climbed the tree."

"What?"

Eli just stood there. "I told you I needed to see her."

"Auden, I don't think-"

"Mom, it's okay. I wanted to see him." I looked back at him. "We do need to talk. This is about me and him."

She paused. "Auden, I don't think-"

"I'm fine, Mom. Eli and I have a lot to talk about. Could you…We'll be down in a few minutes. To eat pizza. Okay?"

My mother stared hard at Eli for a moment before turning and walking away. I closed the door, turning to face Eli.

"So."

He kept looking at me. "You know, if you really don't want to talk-"

"I just…it's still raw, Eli." I went and sat down on the edge of the bed, facing away from him.

"What is?"

"The feelings. I just lost her."

"We did, not just you."

"I know."

"I'm hurt too, Auden."

"I know."

"She was going to live with me. Damn it, I've given up so much to have her with me. Auden, this was sudden for me to. When I wake up, I forget. I forget that I'm not going to have a baby. I forget that the only person in the world that ever got me hates me."

"I don't hate you, Eli. I could never hate you."

"Then what are you doing? Huh? Trying to hurt me by not talking to me?" He was starting to get upset. "God, Auden, I've been so worried about you."

"I'm sorry."

"You're sorry? Sorry? Your sorry is bullshit. Why wouldn't you stay with me? Why wouldn't you be with me? Auden, if you wanted to cry, come cry with me. If you wanted someone to listen, I'm always there. Auden, I'd do anything for you."

He reached out and touched my shoulder. I flinched. Slowly, he got onto his knees on the bed, his hands beginning to rub my shoulders deeply, how he knew I liked it. I moaned a little, turning my head slightly. Eli kissed my neck. Glancing down at his right hand, I saw cut marks.

"What happened?"

"Hmmm?"

"To your hand."

I got another kiss. "Shhh."

"Eli?"

"Hmmm?"

"What if…it was me?"

"If what was you?"

"What if I can't…do this?"

"Do what, Auden?"

"Have babies."

"It was one time, Auden. They don't know what happened."

I leaned back into him, closing my eyes. "It was all so quick. They said that there wasn't a h…and then they wanted me to….and…I hate this, Eli."

I figured that by now, I wouldn't be able to cry anymore, but apparently I could. I cried as Eli kept messing with my shoulders. The only thing I could keep thinking was that this was my fault. All my fault. Eli wasn't the one that lost Clayton. I was. My body killed her. My body killed my baby. I killed my baby. Our baby.

I must have fallen asleep as some point, because next thing I knew, Eli was waking me up.

"What?"

"I got you some pizza. Hollis kept saying some sort of crap about you liking mushrooms and sausage, but I knew you would want the pepperoni and pineapple."

I sat up as he got onto my brother's bed with me. "Thank you."

He pulled piece of pineapple off one of the slices, holding it up to my mouth. His face was emotionless as I ate it, which usually would get me at the very least a faint smile. He kept his finger in my mouth for a second, touching my tongue for a second before pulling it out. I was confused about why he did that, but ignored his weirdness, given the situation we were in now.

"Eli…"

He ripped off a piece of the crust, feeding it to me too, though this time he kept his nasty fingers to himself. After feeding me for a minute, he finally allowed me to feed myself. Then we were just sitting in my older brother's old bedroom, staring at each other, neither sure what to say or where to go next.

Staring at him, all I could do was think about that week after Thanksgiving. Clayton hadn't kicked or moved in a few days from what I could tell and I was worried. Eli just laughed at me and called me paranoid. I kept telling him something was up, but he just told me that the next week we were going to go in for a check up anyways, so it would be alright. The doctor would explain it to me. I wanted to ask Karen about it, but I was back at school at that point and Eli told me not to worry.

Now, sitting here with him, I had to wonder if things would have been different if I hadn't listened to him. I doubted it, but still. Maybe I was just looking for someone else to blame. I'm sure that he too blames me. It was my fault after all. I'm the one whose body killed our baby.

"Eli?"

"What?"

"…I want you to take me home."

"Right now?"

"Yeah."

Standing up slowly, Eli held out his hand. When I took it, he pulled me up.

"Come on then."

My mother wasn't around downstairs. I could hear my brother and father talking in the backyard, but sitting on the kitchen counter was my phone. That's what I needed. Grabbing it, I then headed out front, where Eli was sitting in his car.

"You ready?"

I looked up at my childhood home, slightly feeling bad about leaving my mother. She had been so good to me since I lost Clayton.

"Yeah, I am."

* * *

Eli and I didn't go home immediately. We found a motel somewhere near Colby and holed up there for awhile. It was called the Poseidon. It was a rundown place, right on the beach though Eli just stayed in our hotel room. On New Years Eve, we finally did go home.

"Oh my God, Eli. Do you know that we thought you were dead or something?"

Eli closed the door behind us. "Linda?"

She was on his couch, where apparently she had been staying. "God, Eli, you can't just…Auden. I didn't know that you two were-"

"How'd you get in? This is our house," he said, frowning.

"Jake gave me the key. We thought that someone should be here to wait for you incase-"

"Well, you thought wrong. Fuck off." He took my hand and dragged me to our bedroom. My eyes spotted the door leading to Clayton's room, but I immediately closed my eyes.

"We stink," Eli told me. We had been wearing the same clothes all week, though at one point, Eli went out to the local Wal-Mart and bought me a pack of underwear. Yep, we went through all that just to avoid coming back to Colby. We clearly love this town, huh?

I watched as he went over to the closet, pulling out a shirt. "Eli, you shouldn't-"

"They need to stay out of my face."

"They love you."

"They're bothering me." He looked over at me as we heard the front door shut. Linda was gone. "Come on. You can have the shower first."

When I got out of the shower, Eli was in the kitchen, where he was making Rice Krispy treats. I called out to him that I need to go for a walk, alone. He was reluctant to agree, but he eventually did.

It was cold outside. Cloudy. I wished that I had gone back in to get Eli's hoodie, but I didn't feel like having to speak to him. I was afraid that I was going to run into someone that I knew, mainly Heidi and Thisbe, but instead, someone else ran into me. Not figuratively either.

"Oh!"

I actually fell to the ground, which hurt a little bit. Karen, who ran into me, immediately helped pull me up. We were at the boardwalk, which was pretty much empty. Nearly everyone had closed shop at this point, considering it was a holiday.

"I'm so sor…Auden. You're back."

I stared at her for a moment. "Yeah, I am. For now."

"Is Eli-"

"He's here. Linda was at our apartment. She probably has called you."

"Oh, I don't have my phone, but…I'm sorry I ran into you. Heidi had something she needed dropped at the shop and I offered to go. I didn't even see you." She smiled at me. "The boardwalk is mostly a ghost town during winter."

I just stared at her for a moment.

"Where's Eli?" She asked, still not letting go of my hands. "Is he back at the apartment?"

"Yeah." I shifted a little and she let go of my hands. Slipping them into my pockets, I looked over the bike shop, where the front window was boarded up. "What happened?"

Karen didn't even look over at what I was pointing to. "Eli and Steven…his brother tried to talk to him and some words got jumbled."

"And?"

"Eli punched the glass and it shattered."

"O-Oh."

Karen let out a sigh. "Anyways, Auden, it is very good to have you back."

I fell into step with her as she began to walk. "It's…good to be back."

* * *

It wasn't good though. I knew that it wasn't. Every time I stepped into that apartment, I thought about Clayton. I thought about what I would do when her real due date came around. What I would do when Eli decided that he wanted to try again. What I would do if he decided he never wanted to try again.

Needless to say, I didn't plan on coming down to Colby during the weekends when school started again. It was about a week before that happened when my dad came down. That's when things turned from bad to worse. Or from worse to horrible. I don't know.

Neither Eli nor I were taking care of Thisbe and hadn't seen her since we lost Clayton. This probably pulled Eli's stress levels up and factored into the equation. Though, given the fact we were still both grieving, I think you can pin it mostly on that. Mostly.

So, when my father showed up at our apartment, I let him in. Eli was out, working down at the shop. We knew that he wouldn't see Thisbe there, if only because Heidi closed shop during the holidays and always opened back up in mid-January. I don't know why not seeing my sister was so important to the two of us, but it was. I guess, maybe, seeing her would remind us that we don't have our own daughter. I guess.

Anyways, there my father and I were, talking around anything serious as we sat on Eli's couch, when the man of the hour showed up earlier than I planned for him. I could tell he was pissed from his body language. Later, I would find out that he and Wallace got into some huge argument, which Adam said had to due with Clayton. The second her name was spoken, Eli had to be dragged out of the shop by one of new guys, who I didn't know. Not before breaking the other window in the building. I swear if Clyde didn't hate us before, he does now.

So, Eli stormed in, all pissed and stuff, so I asked what was wrong. Immediately, he cursed at me, which only succeeded in making my father angry. He told Eli that he needed to cut the attitude and not to talk to me like I was nothing. My father had never stood up for me, ever. In fact, he typically was the one stomping me down. Eli, already upset with his friends, turned his rage onto my father. I eventually calmed things down enough that I got Eli to go cool off in the kitchen. It was then my father made his offhand comment of the night.

"You should be glad you lost the baby, Auden. It was meant to happen. Now you won't be tied to him."

And that's how my boyfriend came to punch my father. Yep. Can you say talk of Colby?

* * *

I wasn't going to stay with Eli that night. I couldn't. He was…things were…everything was…different. Difficult. I thought about staying at the hotel with my father, but…I don't know. What he said had made me upset too. So…there was Heidi. Or Leah. Or one of the guys. Maggie's family. Or…

"Come in, come in."

Karen took my hands again, the same way she had that day that she ran into me on the sidewalk.

"I'm sorry, I just don't have anywhere else-"

"It's fine. After all, it is my son that punched your father."

Joseph, who was in the living room, shook his head at this. "That boy… I heard what he did to the window the bike shop. Again. Have you?"

At that point, I hadn't, but it didn't matter. I just went to go sit down on the couch, not even offering up an excuse for my boyfriend. I was tired of Eli. I was tired of fighting. I was tired of crying. I was tired of wanting. I was tired of missing. I was tired of being  _tired_. And that was just it.

"You can stay in Jake's room," Karen told me, but I shook my head.

"I'm fine on the couch, thanks."

"Are sure?"

"Yeah."

She left the room, returning with a blanket and a pillow. "Here you go."

"Thank you," I said as she went into the kitchen. Then it was just me and Joseph.

"So…you're going back to school soon, huh?" He asked after a few minutes of silence.

"Next week."

"It's…been a tough break."

I glanced at him, but he was staring at the television. "Yeah, it has."

"It'll get better. After all, it's not like it can get worse."

Which, in a way, was true. I mean, as long as I didn't die, there's not much more than can be taken from me. Well, another death of someone close to me, but what were the chances of that? Given my luck, I should probably stop thinking that.

After Karen and her husband went to bed, I laid there on the couch; the television turned down so low it might as well have been on mute. I was just watching the repeat of Anderson 360 anyways.

Around the time that the show was going off, Jake came stumbling in. In his drunkenness, he didn't even notice me at first. When he did though, he immediately made his way over.

"A-"

"Shhh, Jake." I glanced at him. "Your parents are in bed."

"Why are you here?" It was slurred, so I just figure that's what he said.

"Eli and I are…fighting."

Jake made his way over to me, sitting down in front of the couch. "Poor Auden. Poor Eli. Poor Clayton."

I blinked. "Jake…"

"I'd fix it," he told me in his slurred speech. "I wan'ed to have a baby too. A baby niece. Take care of her. Love her."

I closed my eyes. "Jake, please, just be quiet."

He sat down there, below me, humming to himself until he fell asleep. I laid there for awhile after that, breathing in and out slowly, willing any tears I had left to not flow, not then, not ever. Crying solved nothing. It never would. In a week, I could go back to my home, my real home, away from Eli and the others. Away from everyone except Maggie. She wouldn't talk about anything that I didn't want to, at least I knew that. I could immerse myself in school, college friends, and work.

First though, I had to cut ties with the family that was so willing to take me in. The member that originally involved me with them, chose then to throw up, all over the living room floor. Because after the shitty time I was having recently, the only thing I needed to do was clean up Jake Stock's puke. Yeah.

 


	10. Chapter 10

 

Everything fell into place, perfectly. Eli get sponsored, …he dies. …He dies, Auden comes into his life. Auden comes into his life, Jake sleeps with her. Jake sleeps with her, Eli loves her. Eli loves her, Eli takes care of her younger sister. Eli takes care of her younger sister, Auden loves him more. Auden loves him more, Eli gets her pregnant. Eli gets her pregnant, Auden loses Clayton. Auden loses Clayton, Eli loses Auden.

Now he's alone. He's really alone.

Auden broke up with him. After all they had gone through, she was just going to leave him. Leave him to the wolves. Did she know that he would get torn to bits? Didn't she care? His blood was on her hands, but she seemed to think she could just wash it off later.

It was a rainy, almost snowy, February. Clayton's due date, or old due date, was coming up. Maybe then Auden would change her mind. Maybe.

Clyde gave Eli some time off and he went ahead and quit his job as the tiger. He was only taking it for his baby anyways. Both his babies. Now one of his babies was dead and his other one hated his guts.

Sometimes, when he was walking along the beach, Eli wanted to run into the ocean and drown himself. Would Auden care then? Would she realize what she'd done to him then? Would she come back to Colby then?

That's where Eli was headed. The boardwalk, not the beach. No, today wasn't that bad. He didn't want to die nearly as much. He was there, headed to work, when he ran into his brother.

"What are you doing, Jake?"

The other man was passed out on the bench in front of the bike shop. "Sleeping."

"Come inside."

"I'm fine."

"Are you drunk?"

"Duh."

Eli took off his jacket and laid it over his brother before walking into the shop. Johnny was there, manning the counter. He was slowly filling up the space Adam once held. Adam was in Jackson now with no plans of ever coming back. Eli wanted to do that so bad now, just leave and never look back. He had nothing holding him to Colby anymore. Not Auden, not Thisbe, not Clayton, not anybody. Not …him.

Work was mostly silent. After that was done, he headed out to his apartment. It was dead in there. Eli didn't have a television and Jake had spilt beer on his radio. That's the same thing that happened to the old TV he had in his garage apartment about a month after he and Auden got together. Jake spills beer all the time. It was a wonder that he ever got enough in him to get drunk off.

Eli went into his bathroom and washed his face, which for some reason was sweaty. He then stared into the mirror for awhile, watching the dark features in front of him, trying to figure out how they belonged to him. He felt so…sleep deprived. Just like he would have been if they hadn't lost Clayton. Ha.

Walking out of the bathroom after taking a quick piss, Eli stopped short in the hallway, staring at the guest bedroom door. The door was ajar. He hadn't left it open. …Auden! Auden must have come to see him. Rushing over to the door, he pushed it all the way open to reveal…

Nothing. No, really, nothing. The room, which had held his daughter's stuff was bare. What? What happened to Clayton's crib and carrier and the little pink trashcan he bought even though he knew Dr. Victoria West would yell at him because he wanted to take care of his little daughter and treat her like the baby she was?

Embarrassment overflowed his body at the thought of Auden actually coming back, though it was quickly was chased away by anger. Someone had been in his apartment. In  _Clayton's_  room. They had taken Clayton's stuff. Who would take Clayton's stuff?

"Jake," Eli mumbled. His stupid brother must have had some sort of debt and taken the stuff to pay it off. But no, Eli had seen Jake. He was passed out drunk. No way could he carry Clayton's stuff very far. Who else had a key to his place? Adam was gone and Wallace was afraid of Eli after that fight they had back in December. Who else…His mother!

Rushing out of his apartment, Eli went out to his truck. Getting in, he immediately took off for his parents' house. When he pulled up, he saw both of their cars were there. Good. They were home.

"Mom!" Eli opened the door without knocking. It had been unlocked. "Mom, where-"

"In here."

He went into the kitchen. "Did you go into my apartment and take Clayton's stuff?"

Karen didn't turn around from the stove, where she was boiling water for some reason. Joseph, who was chopping vegetables at the table, frowned.

"Yes," Karen said. "We thought that it would be easier for you to-"

"Where is it?"

"The stuff? We put it into storage for you, if you ever need it again."

"You just freaking came in there and took Clayton's stuff? Without even asking?" That was like selling someone's shoes because their soles were worn out.

"Eli, you kept stalling and we both thought that it was best to speed things up for you." Karen looked at her son with sympathetic eyes. "I just figured that you would…feel better if I had your father do it for you."

"You can't just fucking take Clayton's stuff!"

Joseph stood. "You will not talk her like that, Eli. She was trying to help. That's all anyone is doing is trying to help you, but you continue to act like your life is over. It's not, Eli. I'm tired of your self pity."

"Joseph, stop it," Karen said, frowning. "Eli, you can get the stuff back out if you-"

"You guys shouldn't have touched it. It's not yours to take."

"I know. I'm sorry."

Eli turned and walked out of the house, heading back to his truck. When he got back home, he went and shut Clayton's bedroom door. After that, he went to bed with no dinner, ignoring his stomach which growled in response. Like a tiger.

* * *

Maybe it was because his parents had came into his home and messed with Clayton's things. Or maybe he was just an idiot. Either way, after months of avoiding her, Eli finally screwed up.

"Eli?"

He winced at the sound of her voice. Not turning around, he thought about walking faster, but just like that, her arms were around his leg, hanging on for dear life.

"Hey, uh," he cleared his throat. "Thisbe."

Looking down at the little girl, he saw that she had gotten her hair cut. And was sporting a brand new winter coat. She looked very cute…except for the fact that she was crying huge, hot tears.

"Eli!" She rubbed her face against his thigh. "Eli!"

He had been walking to work and accidentally passed too close to Heidi's shop. It was around five, so she must have been closing up. How could he have been so stupid?

"Thisbe?" Heidi hung back, hardly even looking at Eli. "Thisbe, let him go. Eli doesn't want-"

"Eli! Eli hate Thisbe!"

What? "No, no, no." Eli turned, getting down on her level. Her arms went to her sides, but her face was still smudged up as she cried. "No, Thisbe. I don't."

"No see Thisbe. No like me." She sniffled loudly. "Love Eli!"

"Hey, I love you too." Eli wrapped his arms around her.

"Thisbe bad. Thisbe make Eli mad."

"No, no," he mumbled, holding her head against his shoulder. "No, Thisbe. No one was bad. I'm not mad. I needed time. This is my fault. I'm sorry."

She wrapped her arms around his neck. Slowly, Eli stood up, holding the little girl in his arms. She was so tiny… Clayton had been tiny… Looking to Heidi, he moved to hand off the little girl, but she wouldn't let go.

"No!" She held fast to his neck. "No, Eli! No, Mommy!"

"Thisbe, Eli has to work," Heidi said, still watching him. This was the first time that she had seen him since Clayton was taken from them. She didn't want to scare him off. "You have to let him go."

"No!" She buried her head in Eli's neck. "No, Mommy. Stay Eli."

He sighed a little. "Is it okay? If I keep her?"

"Eli, you really don't have to."

"I know. I want to."

When they got over to the bike shop, Thisbe still didn't want to be put down. Eli sat down on his stool.

"You comfy?"

"No let go, Eli," the little girl whined, afraid that if he sat her down, he would leave her again.

"I'll never put you down again if that's what you want."

* * *

Eli spent a lot of time with Thisbe in the next week, making up for the fact that they hadn't seen each other in so long. That helped get his mind off the fact that he wasn't going to get Clayton's stuff out of storage. He couldn't. As much as it hurt to have it gone from his apartment, it would hurt more to move it back in.

So far, Thisbe hadn't mentioned Clayton at all. He figured this was because Heidi had told her not to. Though Thisbe had a tendency to ignore her mother, for some reason that order must have stuck.

Well, for awhile anyways.

Eli was laying on his bed, staring at the ceiling, as Thisbe took her nap next to him. His bed was covered with her stuffed animals, which slowly had come to claim his apartment as she began spending more and more time with him again. Eli glanced to his right and saw a Shaggy doll staring back at him. Shiver.

"Eli?"

She was up. He turned his head to the right. "Hmmm?"

Thisbe picked up her Tigger doll and set it on his chest. "Mommy say no talk 'bout Clay'on."

His breath caught for a moment and he had to settle his breathing. "Thisbe-"

She whined, cuddling against him more, a teddy bear in her arms. "Me sorry."

"Hey, now, don't be sorry." Eli patted her on the back. "It's okay. We can talk about…Clayton."

She stared up into his eyes for a moment before nodding. Eli smiled at her.

"You can talk about anything with me, Thisbe. Alright?"

"Yeah."

"Good." He patted her stomach. "You know what's coming up?"

"Wha'?"

"Easter."

"Yes!"

"And you know what that means?"

"Wha'?"

"Vinny."

She giggled, cuddling her teddy bear to her. "I like Vinny."

He smiled at her improving vocabulary. "I know. Hey, let me give you something. I got it back in December, but was really busy then. In fact, I forgot about it until now."

Thisbe sat up, watching the man as he went around the room, looking for something. Finally, he pulled an envelope out of one of his dresser drawers.

"See, Steven sent me a letter and in it, Vinny sent you a picture he drew."

And Eli kept this from her? The horror!

"For me?"

"For you." Eli pulled out the picture from the envelope and handed it to her. It was torn out of a coloring book and, seeing as it came around December, it was of Santa. Thisbe made a noise, looking at it.

"He wrote something on the back, but I can't read it," Eli said, flipping it over and showing it to her. "He has bad handwriting, 'cause he's a boy."

She took the picture from him. "Me?"

"What about you?"

"Me send him a picture?"

Again, her the way her vocabulary flows still confused him. Maybe she could talk like a big kid now and just pretended to still baby talk for attention. Probably.

"You can. I have the address."

She gasped. "You know where Vinny lives?"

"Oh yeah, sure."

"Go see, go see, go see?"

"We can't. Today anyways. One day though, when my brother already knows that we're coming, sure." Eli sat down on the bed. "I don't know if I approve of your relationship, little girl."

Thisbe giggled, moving to go sit in his lap. "Love Vinny."

"What?" Eli exclaimed in mock surprise. "You love him?"

Smiling, she said yes.

"How do you know?" Eli laid his head on top of hers. "I don't think you do. I think that you're lying."

"No!"

"Yes. What about me, Thisbe? Don't you love me?"

"Love Eli lots." She wrapped her arms around his stomach. "Eli no me boyfriend."

"Vinny's your boyfriend now? Huh?" Eli took the picture back, staring at the writing on the back. "I can't read what it says, but I sure don't see boyfriend anywhere."

"Yes!"

"Does Vinny know he's your boyfriend?"

"Mmmm…no."

"Then he's not your boyfriend," Eli told her, giving her a pat on the head. "It's just that simple."

"No."

"Yes, it is."

"No!"

"Thisbe," he sighed, shaking his head. "Anyways, what do you want to do now?"

"I hungry."

"You are?"

"Yes. Hungry."

His stomach growled right on time. "You want me to make you some hotdogs? Huh? Hotdogs?"

"I no baby, Eli."

"What?"

"Eli talk like I baby. I not."

"If you're not a baby, then you need to learn to use the word am."

She just jumped out of his lap. "Hotdogs!"

Eli sighed, going to follow her. "Alright, but all I have is hot links."

"Wha'?"

"They're like big hotdogs. They're good." They were also slightly cheaper, which he needed. Without his second job, Eli was having struggles financially. Sometimes, he wondered what he would be able to do if Clayton was living with him. He'd surely have to be taking loans from his family and, more than likely, Heidi. Auden too. Not that that meant that he wouldn't have wanted her. Eli patted his chest as he headed to his kitchen. He'd give up everything for Clayton.

Sighing a little, he saw that Thisbe had found the Oreos. She had scaled the drawers that led up to the counter, where the pack had set. Jake had given them to him for some reason. It was such a random gift, Eli still hadn't touched it. He wasn't big on sweets, really.

"Thisbe," Eli scolded gently, pulling her off the counter. "You're bad."

"Eli bad," she said, mouth full of cookie goodness. "Eli buy choc'chip next time."

He nodded. "Well, duh. Everyone likes Chips Ahoy better. Come on, Thisbe. What kind of a man do you take me for?"

Giggling, she wiggled until he sat her down. "Food, Eli."

"I'm getting to it, I'm getting to it."

After putting the hot links on, Eli took Thisbe to the living room to wait.

"Eli?" She picked up one of his hands as she sat in his lap. Popping one of his fingers, she leaned back against him. "Miss."

"I know you missed me, but I'm back now. I've been back for awhile now."

"No!" She frowned up at him. "Miss Auden."

Eli wanted to tell her that it was okay to miss someone or that Auden would come back to them when she found herself or some other bull that had been shoved down his throat recently. Instead, he just kissed her head gently.

"Me too."

* * *

"What's your favorite color? Mine's blue."

"Mmmm…Pink."

Eli nodded, throwing a football in the air. "I like red too."

"Yeah," Thisbe agreed, still laying on her back on the ground. It was a few days later and they were over at Karen's house. She had invited them over for dinner, but they were waiting outside until it was done. "Eli?"

"What?"

"Here."

Eli watched as the little girl pulled some coins out of her pocket. Then came the dollar bills. "Wha-"

"For you."

Eli sat up. "Thisbe, where did you get this money? Did you steal it? We've talked about stealing before, you know. I'll have to tell-"

"My money, Eli."

"How?"

"Work." She stared up at him. "I work for baby. Here. Now can we get Clay'on?"

Eli just sat there for awhile. At some point, his mother called into the backyard that it was time to eat. He felt himself stand and carry Thisbe inside. He knew that somehow he listened as his father blessed the food and thanked God for everything that had happened recently. He managed to shovel food into his mouth, not listening as anyone at the table spoke. Then he took Thisbe home, where Heidi wanted to know what was wrong, but Eli just shook his head, handing her back the money that Thisbe tried to buy his daughter with.

After leaving them, Eli went out walking. Once again he found himself at the ocean, wishing that he had the courage to just end it all. He couldn't though. He was coward. He was no one's father and that was for the better. He was hardly keeping himself alive. It would have just been inhuman to put a child in the same house as him. Yes, God made the right choice. Eli just wished that his and Auden's feelings could have been spared in all of this.

Sitting down in the sand, he watched the tide go out, into the ocean once more. It seemed to cleanse itself out there, washing away all that was bad. When it came back, it was like the water had been baptized, fresh, new, pure. Like a baby.

For a few months there, Eli really thought he could do it. He could take care of Thisbe and Auden and Clayton and actually survive this world. Someone, the universe, God, someone, was playing a sick trick on him and now he was paying the price.

Those few months, Eli was going to be happy. He was. He was going to force himself to be. He would rake in money for his family, support them, and take care of them. The three of them together would be their own family. Now he was alone again.

Eli sat out there on the beach for so long that the tide came back, the new, pure, fresh water flooding him. His jeans became soaked, but he still didn't move. The sun came up, also new, though it was really the same one that he had seen since he was born. Born. Something Clayton never would be.

Really, when he thought about it, Eli was more like the water than he realized. The water would recede, some of it getting a chance to break away, be free. Inevitably though, eventually the water would be pulled back to a coast, new, but not different at all. Old, but not the same.

For a few months, he was new, but now he was back to square one. Auden broke up with him, he was childless, and was going nowhere. Not to mention _...Abe_  was still dead. His life was just a steady decline into nothingness. Why had he ever thought otherwise?

"Bro?"

He didn't turn around to see his brother, presumably though it would be shocking, sober, standing behind him. He must have come in for work and seen his brother out there, once again getting washed away.

"Come on, Eli. It's time for work."

Slowly, he stood up, his jeans threatening to fall back down under the added weight that water gave them. He just followed his brother, like the good little sheep he had become.

No matter how much something changes, good or bad, it always goes back. Character, morals, judgment…life, it always turns back to what it used to be. His life was meant to be full of longing and despair. For a minute there, sure, he had been fooled. Who wouldn't be?

Next time though, Eli Stock would not be so easily deceived.


End file.
